


Mad World

by Hyuka00



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: 18th Century Vampire, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angst, Blood Drinking, Blood and Injury, Childhood Trauma, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Guitars, Human/Vampire Relationship, Immortality, Implied Sexual Content, Inspired by Music, M/M, Music, Musicians, Piano, Reluctant vampire, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Vampire Turning, Vampires, Yeonbin, sookai, taegyu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:53:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 54,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25195750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyuka00/pseuds/Hyuka00
Summary: Soobin, a 200 year old vampire struggles to come to terms with what to do with Kai, a young pianist he finds one evening. Too angelic. Too pure. Too beautiful for this life or the next. But what if.. he could create something even more beautiful? Will Soobin's conscious let him go through with the dark deed?(Companion story to 'New World' by the same author, told from Soobin's POV.)
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun, Choi Soobin/Huening Kai
Comments: 79
Kudos: 148





	1. Prologue

**_Prologue_ **

_I constantly overhear conversations about the inconveniences of life. They can't eat this. They can't date them. They can't go there. They can't keep going. But, you see, of course they can. They have the blessing of choices, unlike myself. I live.. Or should I say.. I exist in the same world as them. But every sound, every touch, every taste, is different, but eternally the same. Has been the same, and will always be, no matter how long I remain. For me, there are no choices anymore. The only thing I can choose is if they live or if they die. From the very first moment I saw him, for the first time in my existence, I didn't know what I wanted more. For him to keep living, or to die. Or, even scarier still; to be reborn, just as I have been._


	2. Chapter I

I stood before the floor length mirror near the entrance way of my house, looking over my outfit one last time before giving up trying to improve upon something I never could. My heightened sense of sight always found a way to find the minuscule fibers of stray hairs, animal fur, dust particles and raindrops upon myself. I had yet to find a fabric material in all my 200 years of existence that prevented anything from sticking to it. To the human eye, perhaps, it was possible, but not for someone like myself.

I turned my head towards my door, I could hear the familiar footsteps heading up the concrete driveway. He always walked in the same rhythm; quick, but sturdy with a purpose. Whenever Yeonjun walked, he always looked like he knew exactly where he had to be. And at that moment, the destination was my front door.

He pushed the door open and I was greeted with the piercing, sky blue eyes that bore right through your soul. If you had a soul, that is. To me, he was just Yeonjun.

"G'evening Soobin" he smiled, but it was almost a smirk. He was in a good mood. A good mood for Yeonjun was the excitement of going out to socialize and.. Finding someone.

"Yeonjun" I acknowledged him calmly and turned back towards the mirror as I pinched the edge of the black collar of my knee length coat and pulled it closer to the middle of my chest. I saw Yeonjun lean against the doorway in a bored manner suddenly out of the corner of my eye.

"Oh come now, Soobin..." he cooed at me and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes into the back of my head.

"You're never excited about getting out, are you?" he pouted naturally with the large curvature of his lips.

"Because every time we do this, Yeonjun, you always end up leaving me by myself" I finally looked back at him and tried to hide the spite in my eyes as my eyebrows knitted together.

"That's not true! I-" he cut himself off as he began thinking back to all our previous evenings out together, failing to give an example of a time he hadn't left me by myself. He eventually shrugged it off and tried, and failed, to smile innocently at me.

"Not tonight. I promise."

I turned back to my tall, slim reflection. I wanted to believe him, but trusting the word of someone like us was not advisable, even for ourselves.

"There are some new artists performing at The Black Swan tonight. Does that sound tempting to you?"

My mood lifted suddenly at the name of the place Yeonjun mentioned. The Black Swan was a local musicians club that anyone could go along to and perform. A relaxed, 'open mic' night sort of atmosphere that never got too rowdy. We, or should I say, Yeonjun, hadn't yet caused any issues at this location in the past and it gave me the slightest glimmer of hope that I could still enjoy the evening ahead.

"That does sound tempting.." I quickly shifted some of my pitch black hair out from in front of my obsidian coloured eyes and finally looked away from the mirror to let Yeonjun lead the way out of my front door.


	3. Chapter II

Yeonjun and I arrived at The Black Swan by foot. We didn't bother with vehicles like humans did. Our bodies did not exhaust from physical strain, so we thought there was no reason to invest into the machines of modern society. When you don't tire, and have all the time in the world, doing things the old fashioned way seemed to be the best way to fill in your night.

The atmosphere inside the club always made me feel at ease. The crowd the place attracted seemed to suit our conspicuous nature. People of all walks of life attended. No one seemed to care who you were, where you were from or your age. It was perhaps the only place I knew of where I felt the closest to being normal. But of course 'normal' had its limits. We still looked different. We never ordered anything to eat or drink from the bar.

As soon as we took our seats in a booth towards the back, my companion for the evening was already striking up conversations with the club staff and a few individuals we always saw there. I.. didn't so much feel the need. I had become accustomed to my own company and I tried very hard to keep it that way.

Yeonjun finally broke away from the several conversations he had going at the same time and returned his attention to me.

"See anyone that takes your fancy yet?" his eyes smoldered in the low light of the room, teasing me for an answer. It was always the same.

"Yeonjun, I don't come out here looking for someone like you do.." I trailed off and shifted in my seat, trying to ignore the look he was giving me.

"But.. you still come out. There must be a reason for that, don't you think?" his expression remained and it bothered me that he had a point.

As much as I didn't like the thrill of the hunt like he did, I was still there with him. As much as I enjoyed my own company, I think I enjoyed the illusion of blending into a crowd once in a while too. To feel somewhat human again. But it was always just a facade. At the end of the evening, my bloodlust always got to a dangerous point that ended with me having to leave. Yeonjun, however, always embraced it. He was older than me, by a few hundred years, give or take. But he always adjusted with the times. He could read a room, read a person and know exactly the kind of being he had to be in order to fit in and to get what he wanted. He had mastered the art of mask wearing. I was just... me. Eternally stoic and unmoving. I frowned suddenly and thought that maybe I should be trying harder to change. As much as change was possible for an immortal.

"Perhaps..." I started and looked at him "you have a point."

He raised his eyebrows at me and turned his attention to the stage at the front of the room. Three of the club's staff members were pushing a piano into position for the next act. No other instruments were present and I was suddenly a bit more interested. I loved hearing piano pieces. The music tutor I had when I was a child told me I lacked passion in my playing and it put me off the idea of pursuing my dream of being a great musician. I still kept the piano, but it gathered about as much dust as my black velvet coat did on a daily basis.

I saw a young man enter left from the stage. He was tall, slim but a bit more built than I was. He wore an emerald green jacket that sat upon his broad shoulders and dark blue fitted jeans. He turned towards the room for a moment to give a simple bow and I suddenly felt the dead air inside my lungs exhale sharply. His pale complexion, the way his hair bounced when he stood back up and the pair of deep, dark eyes underneath the reddish-brown wavy locks were... He was.... I didn't know how to describe him...

"He is absolutely stunning" Yeonjun whispered next to me as he found the words that I failed to. I didn't reply to him. I was too interested in the individual who now sat behind the piano, adjusting the tiny black microphone that sat upon it.

"Good evening, my name is Kai. I'll be playing some piano for you tonight."

There were a few small claps heard from near the front, but for the most part, people were quiet as they waited for him to start, myself included.

Within the first bar he played, I could immediately recognize the song. It was the 2001 cover of 'Mad World', originally composed in the 1980s, but this rendition... It was the best. The delicate, somber piano backing the solemn vocals was nothing short of perfection.

He started singing and I felt an odd sensation ignite inside of me. 

[Mad World](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvu9C1GsXJ0&feature=emb_logo)

_And I find it kinda funny_

_I find it kinda sad_

_The dreams in which I'm dying_

_Are the best I've ever had_

My cold skin suddenly felt somehow colder, similar to the human sensation of when the tiny hairs on your arms and the back of your neck stand on end. I couldn't do anything but sit and listen, on the edge of my seat, my eyes unmoving from this individual. It wasn't bloodlust. Or was it? It felt very similar. I was completely captivated and the 3 minute song came to an end before I could fully comprehend what I was feeling.

The audience in the room filled the atmosphere with applause in a respectful manner. It was the first time I ever wanted to stand and shout and yell my enthusiasm into existence. His performance stirred something in me that I hadn't felt in over 200 years.

Yeonjun had been half paying attention to him, but mostly to me. I knew he was staring at my reactions, but I couldn't even speak to explain myself.

The young pianist waited a few moments and then started playing a more upbeat song that I did not recognize and slowly felt myself awaken from the dreamlike state I had fallen into.

"Perhaps this is the reason you keep coming out, Soobin.." Yeonjun whispered to me in a low tone.

My thoughts suddenly began to rampage through my mind. Nothing made any sense. I didn't know what I wanted to do about the situation that I had worked myself into. I hadn't felt anything like this before, and I couldn't work out if I wanted more of it or if I needed it to stop. My body seemed to stand up of its own accord and Yeonjun looked up at me, surprised.

"Soobin?" he asked and his voice saying my name just made me realize that I wasn't dreaming. This was real. He was real. The terrible, primal, white noise started to ring in my ears and I knew I had to get out.

I pushed past Yeonjun seated next to me, clutching my coat to myself and headed towards the exit without so much as an 'excuse me' to the people I bumped into on my way out.


	4. Chapter III

As soon as I stepped outside I started walking swiftly down the street, away from the night lights and noise that the city life echoed through the air. Of course, even if I were a few miles away, I could still hear it. I eventually came to a children's playground and wandered off the footpath to hide among the cold steel and shadows of the stationary equipment. I sat on the end of a slide and rummaged through my pockets to find the piece of fabric I always had on me. I eventually found the handkerchief in an inside pocket of my coat and pulled it out and up to my mouth and nose, inhaling the scent of it deeply. I did this for a few minutes and eventually felt the ringing in my ears deafen down and my body became less of a tense mess.

I swallowed and looked down at the frilly, cotton, off white accessory that was as old as I was. It once belonged to my mother, it had her perfume on it and it was the only thing I had that would calm me down if I felt myself becoming more in tune with my primal side. Of course, to the human sense of smell, it didn't have a scent, being as antique as it was. My sense of smell could still pick up on it, but I knew in the back of my mind, with every year that passed, the scent was slowly fading more and more to me. One day, maybe another hundred years from now, it would no longer serve its function. I almost laughed out loud at the thought. What would become of me then? Would I end up like Yeonjun, embracing the feverish night and all its tastes and pleasures?

I must have sat there for a few hours, fighting off the thoughts of the young pianist I saw, but all efforts to stop were in vain. It scared me that a human, as innocent and pure as he was, had brought that kind of reaction out of me. With all my years of processing thoughts and feelings, I could not come to a conclusion on this one. My thoughts were suddenly disrupted by the sound of footsteps approaching from the woods behind the playground. Yeonjun's footsteps, unmistakable as always.

He emerged from the shadows, his ever porcelain skin glowed under the moonlight, fresh blood at the corners of his plump lips and his usually ice blue eyes burned scarlet red from his fresh kill. He always looked so terrifyingly beautiful when he had just fed, as did all who lived this existence.

"Ah, Soobin..." he smiled at me and licked his blood stained lips as he strutted over to my still seated position upon the cold steel of the slide.

"I thought perhaps you had gone home for the night" he said, surprised to find me.

I shook my head and looked down at the handkerchief I was still idly playing with in my hands, tucking it back inside the inner chest pocket of my coat.

"Well.. I kept my promise. I didn't leave you. You, however.." he trailed off and laughed at me.

"I'm sorry. I... I don't know what happened back there."

"Oh, but I think you do know, Soobin" he said and he was suddenly standing before me. I looked up at him and with the combination of the shadows, moonlight and blood upon his body, he had never looked more menacing.

"You've finally found someone you want to sink your teeth into" he smirked and almost growled the last few words out.

I stood up and walked away from him. His words weren't helping my situation but then we both turned our heads towards the footpath not too far from us. Someone was coming. We both slipped back away from the moonlight and into the shadows and waited until the person had passed. But then my eyes widened and my mouth fell open at the silhouette of the individual who was walking slowly under the dim street lights. The bouncing, wavy trestles of hair, the beautiful side profile that was engraved into my mind from watching him play.

"Oh, this is fitting.." Yeonjun whispered and I turned my head to glare daggers through him to be quiet.

I quickly snapped my head back around to watch the pianist walk further away and I knew Yeonjun had caught the longing in my eyes. As he always did, forever perceptive and calculating.

"It's a pity, really.." he started and I turned back to him to hear out the rest of his statement.

"If I weren't so full from my previous meal, the pianist would make for a good dessert of sorts."

Much like back at The Black Swan, my body acted instinctively and I was suddenly pinning Yeonjun firmly against a tree by the shoulder, the trunk shuddered with the force and a few autumn leaves fell silently in the dark. I felt my teeth emerge from behind my lips as my cold, dark eyes projected my disdain for what he had just uttered.

"Don't you dare lay a finger on him."

I could tell Yeonjun was shocked, it was the first time I had seen an uncalculated expression on him in all the years I had known him. But the more I stared at his face, the more I felt conscious of what I was doing. I slowly released his shoulder and stepped back from him.

He straightened up his posture and brushed his shoulder off, but I was glad for it. He was finally taking me seriously.

"Very well, Soobin. I won't pursue him."

I held his gaze for a long moment, making sure he wasn't going to add a snide remark as an afterthought.

"But if I'm not going to, you know who else will."

I frowned at him. I knew what he was implying. There were still two other vampires in the city.

"Beomgyu and Taehyun will surely come across him eventually. And you know their reaction to him will be the same as ours..."

I turned back towards the street, the pianist had disappeared from view now and it suddenly worried me.

"Both of them are still young to this world, and with much less self control than you or I. And much, much more careless."

Yeonjun's words held a lot of unfortunate, terrible truths to them. God. What was I to do?

I continued to stare through the darkness to the footpath and the tugging I felt inside me wanted me to follow the pianist. I didn't know what I wanted from him yet, but I knew that there was an unmistakable desire to keep him safe from the harm of the others.

Yeonjun was suddenly in front of me again, but in my personal space, I turned to find him winking and pushing a teasing kiss through the air to my cheek. I stepped back and he laughed as his posture relaxed back into his usual stature. He started walking away back the way he came through the woods.

"Go get 'em, tiger" he laughed softly again as he disappeared into the night.

I bowed my head and looked down at my large hands, if I were still human, they would have been shaking. I clutched them into fists and looked back up at the footpath. It would be no problem catching up to him, considering my speed.

I finally stepped forward from my stationary position and came back into the light of the moon, straightening out my coat and holding my head higher, calmly walking forward towards the footpath in pursuit of the young pianist.


	5. Chapter IV

I looked on either side of myself as I walked along the same path as the pianist did, nearing a corner. I squinted straight ahead and could not see anyone that matched his description. I looked to my right and couldn't see a soul either. But then I looked at the opposite side of the road and saw someone make a left turn around a corner. I suddenly wished I at least knew his scent, it would make it easier to track his movements. I couldn't sense anyone else around me, so I moved quickly to catch up with the person who had turned the corner ahead of me.

I peaked around the corner and saw the same person. They passed underneath a street light and I knew I had found him from the reflection of the warm light against his soft brown hair and the green jacket he wore. The manner in which he walked was slow though, which I found quite peculiar. Usually humans who were walking alone at night found it more comforting to walk faster towards their destination. It was just instinct to do so. Either he was just different or he was... sad. A small part of me suddenly wished I had stayed to finish watching his performance. Had something happened after I left? I should have asked Yeonjun.

I hung back for a while considering the slow speed in which he continued to walk, making sure I never lost sight of him every time he turned a corner or crossed a street. I must have continued to do this for at least 30 minutes before I began to notice the neighbourhood a bit more. He was heading towards the suburb in which I also lived. I looked up at a street sign as I passed it and noticed I was only 3 blocks from my house. The pianist hadn't turned any corners for some time and I wondered.. Had he really been living this close to me all this time? I suppose considering he played at The Black Swan, it wasn't entirely impossible that he could have lived in a nearby suburb.

I unknowingly began following closer behind him the more intrigued I became. I was now only the space of about 1 house behind him. He never once looked behind him or seemed like he was particularly aware that there was anyone close by. But with what I saw ahead of me, that was about to change.

Two cats were sitting on top of a fence and they immediately got up on all fours, backs arched and fur standing high into the night air. I wasn't fast enough. They would blow my cover. They both let out a horrendously long howl at me in unison, loud enough to wake the entire neighbourhood. Felines despised me for some reason. Canines were strangely accepting of my presence.

The pianist turned around to the noise, and to me. I stopped in my tracks. We had both stopped directly under street lights, fully exposing both of ourselves to the other. I felt my body stiffen further than it already was. This was not how I had hoped things would go. He looked at me briefly, and slowly started walking again until he stopped once more. I was unmoving. I should have disappeared that instant but... I almost wanted him to see me. He slowly turned around again with a thoughtful look sitting upon his gorgeous features.

"You were at The Black Swan tonight..."

.... What? He.. actually recognized me? I thought I was sitting too far back for anyone from the stage to see me clearly. That was the whole point.

"Uh... Yes. How did you notice me? I was seated at the back."

He suddenly smiled at me and I thought for the briefest of moments that I had been following an angel for the past 40 minutes.

"I saw you leave out of the corner of my eye while I was playing my 2nd song."

I suddenly felt guilty. He had seen me leave _during_ his performance.

"I'm sorry.."

He tilted his head at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Why are you sorry? I don't even know you."

He had a point but I still felt like I should have given him an explanation of sorts.

"I had some business to attend to suddenly. I would have stayed, if I had the choice.."

I lied through my teeth to him but thought for a moment that it technically had some vague amount of truth to it.

"Well that's good to hear. I thought perhaps I had scared you off with my music!" he laughed brightly and the loudness of it echoed down the street. It.. made me smile. I had never heard someone laugh like that before. He was almost like a child.

"Oh... certainly not. You play beautifully. That rendition of Mad World is my favourite and you did it justice one hundred times over."

He looked openly at me with my words, almost like he was surprised I had complimented him.

"... Thank you so much. I... don't often hear good feedback."

Was he serious? I was suddenly annoyed at people's lack of taste.

"You must be playing to the dead then." I smiled at how slightly true my words were.

He smiled, more openly at me this time and my cold, stern body could have melted on the spot right there. How had this perfectly pure specimen been living in the same city as me for all this time and I hadn't noticed? Yeonjun's words suddenly rang through my head _'You're never excited about getting out, are you?'_

The young man took a few steps forward towards me and stopped half way, he suddenly held out his hand towards me.

"I'm Kai. It's nice to meet you."

I stared at his hand, his long, elegant fingers extended towards me and I thought for a moment that this had gone too far. I hadn't expected him to initiate physical contact, as small and harmless as it would have seemed to him, it was the opposite to me.

I knew I had stared too long as his arm slowly started to fall back to his side, but I moved forward quickly to complete the handshake. I didn't want to make him feel unwelcome. I gripped his hand as gently as I could, suddenly thankful it was almost the start of winter, hoping he wouldn't question the iciness of my skin. His skin was cool too in the autumn evening air, but had such comforting warmth to it still.

"I... my name is Soobin. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Kai."

I instinctively half bowed before him at our official introduction, not uncommon for someone from the 18th century to do. I tried not to do that too often, but old habits do die hard after all.

"Soobin.." he said quietly to himself, as if to make sure he memorized it properly.

Something about the way he almost whispered my name into the evening air made me let his hand go, more out of concern for my instincts than out of formality of not letting a handshake go on for too long.

"Well... I'm almost at my house now. Goodnight, Soobin" he smiled again and turned to start walking away.

But I wasn't ready to say goodnight. I had just spent the entire evening thinking about him and... our conversation couldn't just end like that.

"Do you think..." I stopped and he turned back around to give me his attention once more.

"... Do you think you'll play at The Black Swan again sometime soon?"

I saw him think it over for a moment before he replied.

"I.. hadn't planned on it, actually."

"Oh... that's a shame. I would love to hear your entire set-list. Without any outside distractions."

I made it sound like way too much of a personal request and wondered for a moment if that was a bit too forward of me. But he smiled at me yet again. His eagerness to please was making this far too easy. I almost felt bad about it. Almost.

"Well... I could hardly turn down such a request. I will drop my name to the owners when I next plan to be there."

"But you don't know when?"

That was way too forward of me. I knew it. I could sense the unease in the air around myself. I should have never followed him. What were you _doing_ , Soobin?

"How about 1 week from now?" he offered. I was surprised that he wasn't running from me already, but instead, compromising?

"I will mark it on my calendar."

I didn't realize how old fashioned I sounded just then until Kai laughed at me. But he looked somewhat intrigued by me for it.

"I will see you there, Soobin. Goodnight."

He turned and started walking away again for what felt like the thousandth time, and this time I let him. I crossed the street as I continued to watch him walk up to his house, slipping behind a tree to see him walk inside and turn a light on.

It was a modest house, no cars parked outside it, and no lights on inside besides the one he had just turned on. Which made me think that perhaps he lived alone. I made a mental note of the address. I saw another light turn on upstairs and saw his outline pass the window as he drew the blinds closed. I took a wild guess that it was his bedroom.

I looked away and thought I had lingered for too long already. I stepped back from the tree to make my way home, but he flooded my thoughts and senses once more. I knew I had to leave and quickly. I forced my body to start walking faster, pulling my handkerchief out again and inhaling its faint scent as I strolled swiftly down the street. It worried me that already, the scent wasn't working nearly as well as it did only a short while ago. I didn't know how I was going to cope in a week's time, if at all.

Just what had I gotten myself into?


	6. Chapter V

I let myself into my house, not turning on any lights as it was somewhat redundant to me. I slowly went through all the large, mostly empty rooms, pulling the blacked out blinds across each window and bolting them down into place, ready for the dawn. I was about to head to my bedroom but my body didn't sit right with that decision. I knew I hadn't fed in a few days and the dry tightness in my throat begged me to dowse it with the beverage it needed.

I knew I had made a mistake of not drinking before I left my house for the evening, I tried to tell myself that it was mainly this reason my reaction to Kai was so strong, but in the depths of my mind I knew that wasn't entirely true.

I went into my 'kitchen'. Although it looked quite different to the average persons. There was no stove top, no microwave, the cupboards were built into the walls but they were empty. Instead I had 4 refrigerators, tall and wide, they had to be the biggest I could find. I opened one of them and was greeted with stacks upon stacks of hospital grade bagged blood. They were sorted by types. I usually went with type A. I somehow found it always the sweetest and it kept me feeling satisfied for longer.

I reached into the cold cupboard and grabbed one of the plastic vessels, it made a sloshing sound in my hand as I pulled it out. I looked down at it for a moment and my thoughts suddenly got the better of me. I wondered... what blood type did Kai have? Before I could stop my actions I was suddenly biting down into the bag, perhaps a little too violently as the life-filled liquid seeped into my mouth and down my aching throat. By the Gods, it was so sweet, but not sickening like some sweet flavoured beverages could be. It was rich, full of metallic traces and something earthy to it too which balanced the taste perfectly. Like the finest of wines that was not brewed in a basement in barrels but by human vessels, themselves.

I wasn't one to drink an entire bag in one sitting, and I usually poured it into a glass and let it warm to room temperature first, but that night I was impatient. I needed to physically bite into it rather than embrace my usual formality. I let the drained, empty bag fall into the sink, traces of the liquid dripped down my lips and my chin to my neck. I looked at my reflection in the glass of the cupboards in front of me and saw my eyes pulsing that same frightening red as Yeonjun's before. I hated and loved it in the same instance.

I made my way to my bedroom, finally removing my coat and sitting on the edge of my oversized 4 post bed. I had owned the frame since my human years, but the mattress needed replacing several times during the past few centuries. I shifted over and laid back on it fully, staring up through the darkness to the high, wooden ceiling.

Naturally, I wasn't tired. But I still made a habit to lie down and close my eyes. My mind never truly shut off but often I did enter a sort of daydreaming type state which felt similar to sleep. I closed my eyes in an attempt to enter that state, but all I saw.. Was him. I opened my eyes again, hoping to get him off my mind but I could almost see his face painted above me on my ceiling. Now that I was completely alone and locked inside my almost quarantined house, I felt a bit safer thinking about him. But was it safe to do so, still? They were only thoughts. But often dangerous thoughts turn into dangerous actions.

My mind started to break down and analyze everything that happened in the hours prior. What _did_ I want from him? To kill him? I think I already knew.. I could never. To keep him alive? My previous thought already answered that. But to... change him... was that something I could really go through with? I couldn't imagine someone as angelic as him wanting to choose such an existence. It was the same as choosing death, and not just in the physical sense. It was also the death of your choices.

But death was something I was never given a choice for. I should have died that night 200 hundred years ago, until someone found me and made me who I am now. Who that being was, has forever been a mystery to me. If I had the choice, would I have still gone through with this? I always thought that I would have rather been left to die, but now that I had been graced with the presence of this pianist, dying back then would have stopped me from ever meeting him.

I sat up suddenly, almost a little afraid of my own thought processes. Was this the reason I kept lingering through existence all this time? Somewhere in the very depths of what remained of my soul, had I always hoped I would find someone like him? A... companion? But what sort of companion? I barely knew him. Did I want a younger brother? A dear friend? A.. lover?

I sighed out of habit and laid back down. I couldn't deny the fact that as Yeonjun put it, he was stunning. I had never actively thought that about another male before besides my own kind. Kai _already_ looked like us, but something sent from the heavens rather than hell. He made a monster like me nervous, and not just out of concern for my actions. I.. had never been in love before. I had nothing to compare this feeling to, to even know if it was love at all. I had only read it in books, saw it on film and listened to it in music.

Yeonjun popped into my head and I immediately regretted it. But I knew he was the only one I could talk to. He had known love before, as much as that surprised me. Would he take me seriously enough again or just tell me to go rip Kai's neck open already?

Beomgyu and Taehyun also crossed my increasingly overwhelmed mind, momentarily feeling my idle blood boil in my veins. But I knew as long as I could keep Kai safe at night, he would be okay. The daylight hours were obviously at no risk to his safety.

I finally closed my eyes again and mentally decided to see Yeonjun the following night. I just hoped he would be in the mood to entertain my wild notions and not write me off as being insane. But in comparison to him, was I really that mad?


	7. Chapter VI

I left my house as early as the setting sun would allow me. My thoughts during the daylight hours never truly settled down, but rather I sculpted and condensed them into some kind of resolution. I had two goals for the evening, to check Kai's residence and to meet with Yeonjun. Somehow though, I wasn't looking forward to either of these tasks, especially the latter.

I neared Kai's house and saw a few lights glowing from within, I took a spot behind the same tree as the previous night and crouched down to give the impression that I was seated to avoid suspicion. Thankfully I did not encounter any cats. I continued to keep an eye out for a few hours but soon felt myself a bit silly for what I was doing. What _was_ the likelihood of the others knowing about him? Slim, perhaps. But considering Kai seemed to walk instead of use a car, that did increase his risk of being noticed by quite a bit.

I waited a few more hours, he didn't emerge from the house and nor did anyone approach it. I began to wonder what he did during the day. Was he a college student? Did he work somewhere? Was he.. Seeing someone? I took a mental note of these floating questions around my mind and filed them into a box of queries to eventually ask him. The more I knew about him, the easier it would be to keep him safe.

It was nearing midnight at this stage and I hadn't moved from my spot for close to 6 hours. I suddenly saw his silhouette pass by windows to close all his blinds, the illumination from within each room went dark as he turned lights off. The last one to go off was at the top left on the upper level, which again somewhat confirmed my musing that it was his bedroom. I lingered for a while longer until I felt it was somewhat safe to leave.

My problem now was if I could even find Yeonjun. It was a Sunday evening. Not many people ventured out during this time and it gave me some hope that he would be home.

It took me some time to get to his residence, he lived on the other side of town where the wealthier people seemed to reside. But that was always Yeonjun. He had to have the best of the best. I never saw him in the same outfit twice, and nor did its value drop below anything of at least $10,000. He truly did get anything he set his sights on. I didn't know many other vampires, but he truly was somewhat legendary among them. It almost confused me as to why he still gave someone like me the time of night.

I now stood before his house, or should I say mansion. I eyed up the dozen or so rooms as I approached, the long driveway which held no vehicles lit up with tall, dark, almost antique looking lamps. The lawn was perfectly clipped to 3cm in length and every tree shaped and kept to a certain aesthetic which was pleasing to the eye. The closer I got, I could hear a mixture of many noises coming from inside. I could make out at least 3 voices, one of which was Yeonjun's.

I pursed my lips together and swallowed, suddenly apprehensive at the scenario I was about to disrupt. I didn't think he knew I was there, given the noise inside the house, I doubted he had heard me approach. I almost considered turning around and going back home but I didn't want to go back there without some answers to my burning questions.

I knocked on the door quietly. I knew I didn't need to be too loud, Yeonjun would hear it. I heard laughter from what seemed to be females and among it all, the soothing voice of him and those footsteps approaching the door.

It slowly opened and there were the striking ice blue orbs staring at me from within the small crack he had made. His eyes were suddenly surprised.

"Soobin!" he was almost cheerful to see me, but mostly taken aback.

I saw a young female behind him slowly slip into view, the dark skin of her hand wrapping around his upper arm in an attempt to drag him back to whatever activities were taking place. I suppressed a cringing feeling as I saw Yeonjun's silk shirt was undone all the way down to his navel. He was about to speak to me before he turned to sooth the craving attention of the young woman in a few whispered, sweet words.

I sighed lightly and somewhat impatiently as I waited to regain his attention.

"Soobin.. This isn't really a good time. Tomorrow, okay?" He gave me a pleasing smile and tried to close the door on me. But I spoke before I could hear the lock of the door meet its close.

"I think I want to turn him, Yeonjun."

The door didn't close. There were no footsteps walking away from me. The noise suddenly subsided inside and I heard hushed voices in what sounded like disappointment. A few more moments passed and the door opened once more, but fully this time. Two young women clutching at random articles of clothing, but mostly still dressed, exited the house. Both of them looked annoyed and whispered a few words of irritation at me as they continued off the property.

I turned back towards the door to find Yeonjun holding it open but still standing in the entrance to give me a similar look as to what his young guests had just given me. But I knew it was more than just annoyance. He was reading me. I let the expression on my face be as honest as it could. I struggled with lying, anyway.

He eventually lifted a hand to the back of his head, scratching at his almost white blond hair and sighed.

"Come in."

I stepped over the threshold and through to the entrance way, Yeonjun slowly closed the door behind me. It had been some time since I had last been in his house. Paintings, sculptures and collectors items were everywhere your eyes would turn. The entire house was lit up with dozens upon dozens of candles. He had access to electricity like I did, but didn't seem to use it for much apart from his telephone. He lacked the blood filled refrigerators to make much further use of the modern day convenience. Yeonjun did like to dine out, after all.

My eyes eventually fell onto him again as he led me through to one of his living areas, 3 large leather sofas spread across the marble floors with a very grand piece of sculpture art standing proudly in the middle of the furniture. I slowly circled the piece until I was viewing it from the front, a fallen angel with a broken wing and a terrified expression upon its marble face. The male sculpture's face struck a chord inside me. It reminded me of someone. Of him.

I heard Yeonjun sit down behind me as the leather of the couch made a crunching noise. I could suddenly feel his eyes on me.

"Take a seat."

I couldn't figure out if that was an open invitation or a demand. It oddly sounded like both.

I turned around to look at him and his expression dripped with an ancient sort of foreboding.

I sat at the opposite end of the same couch he was seated upon and cast my eyes back upon the sculpture, taking in all its painful beauty and story.

"Tell me what happened last night."

I didn't know where to start. I had packed all the emotions and thoughts into a part of my mind that would have been a mess to unravel again. But I started speaking in an attempt to make some kind of sense that Yeonjun would understand.

"I followed him and.. Spoke with him."

I paused and Yeonjun took the opportunity to chime in.

"Did you show yourself to him? Does he know what you are?"

I shook my head.

"I suppose that's a good start" he eventually said after a few moments of silence.

"When did you plan to do it?"

I looked over at him and my troubled expression had obviously answered his question.

"I forget.. You've never turned someone before, have you?"

I shook my head a second time.

"And you've still never drunk from someone either?"

I didn't shake my head again. He _knew_ the answer to that. He had teased me for it the previous night.

"Oh, Soobin, Soobin.." he shook his head instead and suppressed a small chuckle.

"That's not the main reason I came here to talk" I said as I tried to direct the conversation elsewhere.

I saw the expressive, dark eyebrows of Yeonjun arch in the dimly lit living area. I knew the next words I would say would probably be received with laughter and ridicule. But, as I had previously thought and _knew_ , I had no one else to ask.

"You once told me... that you had been in love before.." I drifted off my sentence but my words hadn't yet drawn a reaction out of him yet, he was waiting for me to finish.

"I... I just wanted to ask you.. What does it feel like?"

I was surprised to not hear him laughing yet but instead it looked like my query had exhausted him. As if he didn't want to answer. Perhaps it was a touchy subject.

He looked away from me but I caught the faintest traces of a sad smile upon his profound lips.

"Now that... is a very old memory indeed."

He stood up and approached the fallen angel in front of us, looking thoughtfully at it before reaching out a pale, cold hand to slowly draw a finger along its jawline. He let his hand drop away from it and slowly walked around until he was behind it.

"Love is... oxygen. Once you get your first breath, you need to keep breathing it or else you feel you will perish without it."

My mouth suddenly opened and I neared the edge of my seat further. Yeonjun had never spoken to me like this before.

"Once it enters your veins, you cannot get it out. It invades every part of your being. Filling you with life, bringing you to heights you never thought you could reach."

His hand glided down the edge of the angels wing, hooking a finger around a stray feather.

"When you see them, you see only them" his eyes suddenly flicked up at me directly through the gap in between the angel's wing and arm and I felt somehow exposed.

"You would give anything.. Your wealth, your possessions, your status, your dignity, your _life_... just to protect them."

I felt the odd sensation of my thoughts and feelings slowly merging into one. What Yeonjun was saying... it felt true.

He walked away from the statue and was in front of me, kneeling down before me between my knees, his face directly in front of mine, but I didn't move away like I usually did, I knew he had more to say. I needed to hear it.

"And when you're close to them.." he brought up a hand and his thumb briefly slid across my bottom lip and held my chin. I swallowed hard and tried to ignore the gesture out of curiosity for what he was saying.

"You want your lips on them. To become willingly lost in their eyes. To be forever, impossibly closer. You're infatuated with them. You feel like you could stick to them for three thousand eternities and it would not be a wasted existence."

The uncharacteristic soft look in the sea coloured orbs that stared right through me gave me the odd feeling that Yeonjun had never said these words to another soul before. Not even to himself. His hand suddenly dropped from my chin and he stood back up, walking back around the way he came behind the sculpture.

"But then you realize... you are too different from each other. You want different things. You cannot exist in perfect harmony anymore. And you fill your nights with countless, cheap fakes in an attempt to replace them, but you never can. Because you know that out of the almost eight billion people that walk this earth, there is only _one_ of them."

He then laughed, but it was almost in disbelief at what he had just said. He knew he had just exposed a very deep part of himself to me.

I sat in silence. I felt stunned to my core. It was not the description I had ever imagined, but I felt it was the truest one I had ever heard. I could now almost understand all the love stories, films and music I had tried to digest over the years.

"Do you want my advice, Soobin?"

I looked back across at him as he slowly re emerged from behind the angel. I didn't know how to reply, but it seemed he was going to give me an answer regardless of my own.

"Don't become a pathetic mess like me."

I frowned. Did he really think that way about himself?

"If you really think he could be the one for you, make sure that he is. Protect him. Learn more about him. Spend a careful amount of time with him. Time is the most important thing you can give to someone. It will eventually tell you if it's meant to be."

I opened my eyes wider, nodding, like a student that had just taken an important lesson from a teacher. I suddenly felt the odd sensation of pride, in both of us. To Yeonjun for opening up so deeply to me, and to myself, for even having the courage to ask him for it.


	8. Chapter VII

It took me close to two hours to get back to my house from Yeonjun's. Usually I was faster at walking, but the endless thoughts that clouded my mind seemed to stunt my speed. It was now only a few hours from the dawn and I sat inside my study at my writing desk, a small lamp next to me to illuminate the blank piece of paper in front of me. I flicked the light switch on and off repeatedly, slowly, listening to the electricity spark to life and fizzle out every time I did so.

I was restless with my thoughts yet again. Yeonjun's haunting story of love both frightened and excited me. The way he described his feelings for that person, they were almost word for word what I was fighting off inside of me. And yet I had only spent approximately five minutes actively around Kai. You couldn't.. Fall in love in such a small amount of time, could you? I wasn't completely convinced yet, as strong as my thoughts were about him. Yeonjun said I needed to give him my time. Easier said than done. He only knew my name. There was no established friendship yet. I was merely a friendly stranger to him, essentially.

But that's not to say I couldn't try to build upon that.

I flicked the lamp switch another time and the light bulb decided it had had enough of my tampering and blew and shattered, small pieces of glass falling with several small tapping noises onto the wooden floor.

I bent down to pick up a piece of glass, still hot between my fingertips and placed it upon the piece of paper. I spun it like a little, sharp spinning top. The autumn moonlight that shone through the large window reflected upon its every edge, ever changing depending on the angle of light, a physical representation of my ever turning mind. I eventually flicked it off with a fingertip. I needed to stop procrastinating. I needed to form some kind of plan that wasn't just me sitting outside Kai's house every evening for six hours looking like some kind of predator. I needed to give him my time, but give the time to _him_ and not just into protecting him at a distance.

I picked up and dipped my calligraphy fountain pen into a small pot of black ink, tapping the edge of it a few times to get rid of the excess fluid.

I wrote down Kai's name. His address. The name of the song he had played at The Black Swan. The time in which he performed there. The time in which I had found him walking past Yeonjun and I. The time he went to sleep earlier in the night.

I looked down at the six items I had listed and frowned. That was it. That was all I had. I really, honestly, did not know anything else about him apart from his musical talent and his beautiful face. But it was a start. This list would soon grow longer, the more I got to know him... _if_ he let me get to know him. That of course, was my other problem. If it _was_ love I was experiencing, it needed to go both ways in order for it to work.

I looked down at myself and my somewhat old fashioned attire. The black velvet coat, the white button down shirt done up to my neck, the black cotton straight legged suit pants. I pondered for a moment if I should change the way I dressed. Did I want to invest into a mobile phone? Should I start listening to the radio which plays more recent music? Perhaps. But I figured my best approach was to just be myself. A vampire pretending not to be a vampire.

I looked behind myself at the forever silent grand piano in the middle of my study and slowly felt a compelling idea enter my mind. Could I... invite him here to play for me at some stage? My eyes adjusted to the ceiling-tall bookshelves, packed with many old pieces of sheet music that I hadn't played in an age.

I gave my pen a fresh licking of ink and added a single musical note next to his name and allowed a small smile to myself. I couldn't wait to hear him play again. I had another five nights ahead of me to prepare for it. I began to wonder what he would play. I knew it would be beautiful, whatever he chose. I felt the smallest drop of excitement simmer up inside me at the thought of him singing with the voice that was only gifted to angels.

But I was getting ahead of myself. I was so caught up in my ideals of falling in love that I had blindly overlooked a dreadful fact. I still didn't know if I could control myself around him. I had only survived one song of his before I had to leave. Could only speak to him for two minutes. I could barely even shake his hand properly without wanting to bite my own tongue off. The cotton antidote I carried around with me.. I was almost certain it wouldn't be enough. At least not around him.

Perhaps if I woke early enough and drank, and drank more than usual, it would be enough to keep the blood lust leveled. However, blood to vampires was similar to that of alcohol for humans. The more a human drank, the more out of tune they became with themselves, and it was a similar reaction for blood to vampires. A maddening addiction that snowballed and often caused insanity. A human could pass out or even die from drinking too much as their weak bodies cannot handle it, but someone like me.. Our bodies did not tire of it. We had the capabilities to drink until every last piece of our souls had all but evaporated.

I bowed my head into my chilled palms, pushing my midnight black hair back away from my forehead. I was too inexperienced, strangely, for someone of my age. My eyes traced the cursive handwritten name underneath me as I stared down.

No. I couldn't start doubting myself. If my whole existence was boiling down to this moment of him entering my world, I had to try. I was too curious now. Yeonjun's words of love urged me to let me feel it for myself.

I stood up and stared out the window next to me, the night sky was beginning to turn a shade of purple, signaling that dawn would arrive within the hour. I looked at the full moon nestled among the soft lavender cloud bed and offered a smile to it.

"Good morning, Kai. I hope you have a pleasant day" I whispered into the darkness of the room before pulling the blinds down.


	9. Chapter VIII

My routine for the following five evenings was much the same as each night before it.

\- Check Kai's residence.

\- Go back home once he went to bed.

\- Sit in the dark with a wine glass of blood and pine over him pathetically.

I laughed softly to myself at the realization that Kai didn't get out much, not entirely unlike a certain someone. A few evenings I was graced with the sound of him playing a piano somewhere within his house, but unfortunately I couldn't approach the property in an inconspicuous enough manner to go undetected and enjoy the sounds from within further. I could have sworn I also heard the steel ringing of a guitar as well at some point.

It was now Saturday. _The_ Saturday. The Saturday I would be attending The Black Swan again to see Kai perform. I felt as giddy as a high school girl before prom. I drank about a bag and a half of blood earlier in the afternoon to prepare myself. I had been playing around with the quantities of it during the week, trying to find the perfect volume of it that I needed in order to feel just a little bit _too_ full from it, but not enough for it to tip me over that critical line and end up craving more.

I once more began to think about what music Kai would play, even though he had previously stated he hadn't planned on performing at The Black Swan again before I felt like I somewhat talked him into it. Was he really doing this because I asked him to? Was it all for me?

"Calm down, Soobin" I said to my reflection as I checked myself in the mirror in my entrance way. I had swapped my white shirt out for a black, thin, fitted turtleneck instead. I wore a long, golden chain with a locket that sat upon my sternum. A small, painted portrait of my mother inside of it. It somehow gave me the extra moral support I was in need of.

I doubted Yeonjun would be there tonight. We perhaps only attended the place together every few months or so. Him more so than I. Even though he had offered me console words several nights ago, I felt I needed to do this alone. To prove to both him _and_ myself that I was capable. I could almost instinctively know that he wouldn't be there, to let me do things on my own.

I looked at the grandfather clock that towered over me next to my front door, the slow, monotonous ticking of the steel hands that echoed inside the solid wood filled the empty space of my house. 6:30pm. It was time to leave.

I took a slightly different route to my destination, I didn't want to accidentally encounter Kai before I had even arrived, so I avoided the streets I knew he used a week ago. I knew I was somewhat compromising his security by doing this, but I also knew that the musicians who played there arrived an hour earlier as a requirement for playing. And that was always an hour before sunset. It was to confirm numbers, instruments used and to gauge how long the sets would go for. I was somewhat thankful for that procedure, considering my predicament.

I arrived in plenty of time, taking my usual spot at the back in the booth Yeonjun and I were seated at seven nights previous.

I looked around and couldn't see Kai yet, but I knew some musicians often made it a habit to wait backstage. I noted the regulars who seemed like they almost lived there. The young woman with the long, black, silken hair and sparkly shirt who always stayed at the back, never seeming to wear a skirt that _wasn't_ sitting at her upper thighs. The old gentleman who always stood instead of sat, his coat folded up over his crossed arms, never clapping for the artists, but never taking his eyes off them either. I perhaps only saw him smile three times. The sixty-something year old woman who always sat at the same table nearest to the stage, dressed in an over sized woolen, multicoloured cardigan that she probably made herself. I never saw her there without her knitting work, her needles constantly clicking away furiously as her aged but sharp eyes watched with appraisal at the talent upon the stage. She had never once dropped a stitch. She would have an entire scarf finished within a few hours without so much as glancing at it.

People attended for their own reasons and as much as I had previously pondered those reasons, I was more concerned with my own. I had but one. I suddenly sat up straight, feeling my dead body almost come to life again as I saw that reason enter the stage from the left.

"Kai.." I mouthed but didn't utter as I saw him carrying a guitar, placing it onto a stand next to the piano.

He turned and gave his little bow to the room, a few people applauding, myself included. He wore a mustard yellow v-neck knit and black jeans. The colours suited him marvelously coupled with his fluffy, chestnut hair and pale skin. He looked so... soft. Effortlessly beautiful and unique.

He sat behind the piano and pulled the microphone closer to himself.

"Hello again, I'm Kai. I hope you're all enjoying your evening so far! I'll play some piano _and_ guitar for you tonight!"

His attitude. The life in his voice. He was so much more upbeat than the last time he sat there and introduced himself. He seemed genuinely happy and I felt it rub off on me, smiling in the low candlelight from the burning, melting cylinder of wax in front of me at my table.

[Come Away With Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=Kx6CygOHFhE&feature=emb_logo)

My smile only grew as his fingers touched the ivory and ebony keys, beginning his first song, the tempo was slow, jazz like in its vibe and chord progression. The melody started and I could tell it was an instrumental piece which sounded faintly familiar to me. Modern in its composition. But I didn't waste time trying to figure out the name or the artist, I was already lost in the dream-like spell he had cast upon the entire room. My solid body felt as light as a feather, like I could drift away into the foreign, forbidden heavens with the slightest of breezes and never come back down.

The comforting notes and chords matched the smile that sat upon his pretty lips as he played. He felt every note. You could see it plain as the moon in the night sky. The song came to its delicate close and I clapped loudly, perhaps, the loudest out of anyone. I took note of how I was feeling and all I could sense was something that closely resembled peace in my still, dead heart. A purity that a being like me could never even get close to, but he drew me into its embrace with the bright G and C major chords present in the song.

I saw his face light up the entire room with his smile that didn't leave an inch of his features untouched.

"Thank you" he said delightfully. He then started with his second song. One I wasn't leaving in the middle of this time.

[Can't Help Falling In Love With You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npwHNcGqueE&feature=emb_logo)

I initially didn't recognize the opening chords being played on piano, but as soon as he started singing in his soft, heavenly voice, I was immediately transported back to the early 1960s. A timeless classic. Perhaps one of the greatest that has ever been released to the public. A love song for the ages. I became momentarily worried that the feeling that sprung up inside of me was too similar to what I encountered when I first saw him, but it was deeper, less feverish, more understood this time. I was becoming more familiar with the sensation. More in tune. I couldn't in any given lifetime discredit what Yeonjun's words of love had done for me, but Kai singing them in the tender, fathomless manner in which he did, further put them into a more solidified state.

 _Take my hand  
_ _Take my whole life too_

Kai. He had no idea of the double natured meaning of those words. But that made the moment even more, forever charming.

The song ended and I was close to standing up from my seat as I clapped enthusiastically again, but I was too shy to.

"Thank you!" he said again to the audience with a once again cheerful manner. I was so glad he was happy and getting the recognition he deserved.

He stood up from the piano and pulled the seat more towards the front of the stage, reaching out to grab the guitar he had previously set down. As much as I loved his style of piano, I was even more intrigued to hear him play a stringed instrument. It also meant I was able to gaze at him more directly, as much as viewing him from the side was a pleasant sight, I could see his eyes better this way.

One of the club's staff approached the stage from the right, placing a stand in front of him with two of microphones attached to it. One level with Kai's mouth and one lower down for his instrument.

He subtly gave the strings a quick strum to make sure it was in tune and tapped the side of the hollow wood to count himself in.

[Nights In White Satin](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dwvdoxZ7Pc&feature=emb_logo)

A slow rock strumming style vibrated and bounced off the walls of the room, the contrast of the D major and E minor chords, a bittersweet taste, I mouthed the first words of the song as he sung them and my memory was suddenly in the past again.Another song from the 1960s generation, his rendition was more acoustic, but still as raw and haunting as the original, in his own colour. His voice was raspier, adjusting to the genre with ease. The more you listened to it, the more it became clear that the song was a tale about yearning for love from afar. Was this a coincidence? Why did everything he play just... make sense?

I gazed openly at him as he sang, his experienced fingers never missing a single string, his eyes closing from time to time, letting himself feel the sorrow. But my eyes were forever open. Captivated once more. Everyone else in the room seemed to disappear. He dulled and heightened my senses simultaneously.

 _Gazing at people  
_ _Some hand in hand_  
 _Just what I'm going through  
_ _They can't understand_

No. They didn't understand. I barely did.

The song ended and this time I did stand up as I applauded. I didn't care anymore. I forced down the stoic veil built around myself. I could no longer pretend.

Kai nodded and smiled at the audience and then he saw me and his smile almost changed, it.. Brightened further. Like he could see me, and only me..

_"When you see them, you see only them."_

Yeonjun's words echoed through my head and I felt the audience disappear again further. At that moment, it was only him and I in the room.

He eventually let those bottomless eyes fall away from me and nodded in thanks to everyone before he exited right off the stage. My eyes followed him but I was suddenly interrupted with one of the waitresses talking to me. It took me a moment to ground myself back into reality.

"Do you know him?" she said with a grin, her red curly hair matching the freckles on her cheeks, baby blue eyes sparkling at me with all their youth.

"Uh... Not really. I saw him here last week."

"Oh!" she exclaimed, sounding incredibly surprised. "Could've fooled me, sweet cheeks."

"What do you mean?" I asked, curious to what point she was trying to make.

She giggled at me and looked around herself before leaning in close to speak in a hushed manner.

"I've just never seen someone look so in love before."

She winked at me and turned around to bounce away happily to the bar.

Was I... really being that obvious? I stood there for a while longer, suddenly feeling quite awkward and self conscious and sat back down quickly and didn't raise my eyes back up for a few minutes. I stared at the flickering candle in front of me on the table, casting a small halo around itself that moved faintly against the dark wood of the table. I felt so dazed and was about to plunge into the depths of my mind which seemed quite ritual to me until I saw a yellow reflection upon the varnished wood at the edge of the table. I looked up and saw him standing before me.

"Hello, Soobin" he smiled with enough luminescence to blind the sun itself.

My mouth fell open and I immediately closed it the second I realized I was staring like a fool. I hadn't even heard him approach me. I had practiced in my head greeting him again many times, but all words failed me. He had caught me off guard. I hadn't expected him to find and approach me.

"Mind if I join you?" he looked at the empty seat next to me.

I looked at it and then back to him. I fidgeted and blinked many times, unsure how to reply. I knew I still looked like quite the idiot.

"N-not at all" I eventually managed, trying not to sound so stunned at what was happening.

I moved over to allow as much space between the both of us as possible. I hadn't planned on such close proximity and I was suddenly fearful as he stepped around behind the table. I was quietly thankful he decided to sit not too closely to me. It was for the better of us both.

"Did you enjoy the songs?" he asked with a hopeful expression upon his face.

"Oh... very much so. You're very soulful" I struggled to find better words to express my admiration. There were none.

"You seem to fancy older songs, I notice."

"Oh I enjoy all kinds of music from any generation. I was just... in the mood to play these ones tonight" he looked up at me briefly before looking around at the crowd that had started to thicken as time went on.

"Can I get you something to drink?" he said as he turned his head back to the bar, exposing the side of his neck and I thought how ironic it was for him to ask me in that moment. I fought off the sinister instinct that momentarily reared its head.

"Soobin?"

He turned back around to my lack of a reply and I shook my head in apology.

"Sorry. No, I'm fine. I don't drink alcohol."

"That's okay, neither do I. They do have really good grape juice here though."

Grape juice. He liked grape juice.

I smiled at the opportunity this gave me and I stood up to walk to the bar.

"I will be right back then" I said and suddenly felt a bit more in control of the situation.

I was greeted with the same waitress that had talked to me only moments before and she grinned at me again.

"What can I get you, dimples?"

Dimples?

"Uh... a grape juice please."

"Grape juice? Sure!"

She walked off to open a bottle of it and started to pour it as I withdrew some coins from my pant pockets and placed them upon the top of the bar.

"Here you go!" She placed the tall, purple liquid filled glass with a straw in front of me.

"Appreciated. Keep the change." I said as I picked up the cold glass and walked back to the table. Our table.

It was in this moment as I was walking back to him that I was beginning to feel more happy than shocked again. I was giving him my time. I was actively achieving my goal. He wanted to know me.

"Your grape juice" I smiled as I placed the beverage before him and I saw his eyes light up with a childlike fondness. Heathens below, he was so... cute? Not a word I had thought of before that moment.

I sat back down in my spot and couldn't keep the smile off my face as he began drinking.

"Oh my god, it's so good! Did you want some?" he pushed the straw in my direction.

"Oh... no, it's fine. You enjoy it."

"Thank you for this. You didn't need to get me a drink" he said and continued to sip from his straw.

"Well, you must be thirsty after singing" I enjoyed the sight of him next to me as he swallowed before answering.

"Yeah.. the stage lights are pretty hot, so it makes you extra thirsty if you're singing too" he laughed.

"I can imagine" I smiled and tried my best to sympathize with his side effects of being human. I did, however, agree with the thirst.

We both turned our attention to the stage as two women sat upon stools in front of microphones. I didn't know if he wanted to watch the other acts undisturbed or continue talking to me. But I made an attempt to keep the conversation going.

"How long have you been playing for?"

He took another sip from his drink as he thought about it.

"Hmmm... Piano since I was 8 and guitar since I was 9."

I tried to do the equation in my head of how long he had been playing for, but I was missing a piece of the formula. I didn't actually know how old he was.

"And how old are you, exactly?"

"I turned 20 a few months ago in August."

Twenty. He was the same age as me when I was turned.

The women on the stage started to sing but I was pleased that Kai seemed to be keeping his attention mostly upon me. The music made for pleasant background noise and made our conversation feel all the more private.

"And what is it that you do, Kai?"

"Oh for a job? I work at a music store in the city."

I could have guessed but it was still endearing to know that music seemed to be his entire life.

"Do you enjoy it?"

"Yeah..." then he trailed off and tried hard not to laugh.

"What is it?" I smiled at him, intrigued.

"I do like my job, but my boss often catches me playing instruments instead of actually working. So I'm not exactly employee of the month" he grinned at me in a knowing manner.

"How will his customers know if the instruments are any good if someone's not giving a demonstration?" I offered in console.

"Exactly!!! That's what I always tell him but he grumbles at me anyway."

I laughed at his joyful tone and caught his eyes looking at my cheeks.

"Wow, you've got really deep dimples.." he said and turned away, as if to apologize for the statement and for staring.

I hadn't expected that kind of comment from him. Was it a compliment? I made a mental note to smile more around him, since it seemed to have an effect on him.

"Do you come across many interesting instruments in your store?"

He brought his hand up to his mouth and pressed his upper lip into it as he pondered the question.

"Actually a few weeks ago we had a very, very old harp come in. Had to get an antiques dealer in just to figure out how old it was. Apparently it was almost 200 years old. It was so fascinating."

200 years old? For all I knew, it could have even belonged to someone I once knew. I suddenly felt two floating thoughts in my head connect like the heads of magnets. This was perfect.

"You know... I have something in my house that might be of interest to you, if you like antiques."

"Really?" he asked as he finished off his grape juice.

"It's the same age as that harp. But it's something you in particular can play."

"A piano?"

I nodded and saw his cheerful expression change to something of a longing nature and mine changed to almost mirror it, but for a different reason. He was undoubtedly alluring when he had his guard down. He didn't even need to try. The depths of his eyes became increasingly deeper as his pupils dilated, the soft candlelight that shone up across his neck and jaw only increased his mysterious beauty further.

"Wow... Yes, I would love to see it. If that's okay."

It was more than okay.

"Well then..." I thought to myself for a moment before continuing. I needed time to prepare for him to come to my dwellings. I hadn't counted on things going as swimmingly as they were. One night should be enough time.

"What are you doing tomorrow night?"

His smile confirmed he didn't have any plans. But he did now.


	10. Chapter IX

I stood within my entrance way, slowly pushing my front door closed with my back as I stepped my body against it and looked down at the dark floorboards before me. The moon and street lights made their way through the windows and reflected off every shiny surface they reached. The only thing brighter than it was my smile. I brought a hand up and held it over my heart, though it did not beat, it was full of life. I was so heavily brimming from the excitement of my evening with Kai that I barely knew what to do with myself.

I lifted my head and looked around in the dark, I was meant to be tending to things to get ready for Kai’s arrival the next night, but my thoughts were constantly shunted and tossed into the heavens where he had been sent from. We had stayed at The Black Swan for a further hour, just conversing, mostly about music. The passion in his eyes and words whenever he spoke about it; it was everything to him. I ordered him another grape juice, which he was ecstatic about. The waitress at the bar teased me again for my obvious behaviour, but I didn’t care much anymore.

I regretted not asking him many more personal questions, but the more he spoke about his delight in playing and listening to music, it was more than what remained of my soul could take. I found myself eternally agreeing with him, almost nodding my head clean off with the similarity in our opinions and tastes.

I walked him home, his emphatic, unashamed and gorgeous laugh filling the empty streets with cheer. I compared the sound to the music he played, you just wanted more of it. I stood behind my tree and waited until his house was dark inside before leaving for home. I still had to keep that ritual for the time being.

As impossible as it was for anyone to fathom that I am what I am, I found it even more unfeasible that my evening had gone as well as it did. My almost nightmarish existence was suddenly a dream. But if vampires could exist, then so could this. Kai and I.. it no longer felt like an unreachable, far off daydream that I feared I had built larger in my mind than it was. We _could_ happen.

My blood lust wasn’t even remotely present. I pondered for a while, trying to figure out why that was. I was still unsure if it was because of the ratio of blood I had taken that was doing its work. Or perhaps I just understood my feelings a bit more. I was less confused. Less on edge. More accepting. More open, as the evening progressed. Instead of falling deeper into the insanity of fighting off my instincts, I was falling more…

I smiled again, but more knowingly. I couldn’t admit it to myself yet, but it was forever getting closer to boiling to the surface.

I used my unusual good mood to fuel me into getting to work. I cleaned every surface. Tidied and sorted every bookshelf. Dusted every blind. Polished every floorboard. I stood in the middle of my house, only an hour from the dawn and pondered what else I could do to make as good of an impression as I could.

“Ah!” I said out loud and quickly left the house to visit a local 24/7 mart.

I returned with four large bottles of grape juice. I went into my kitchen and opened one of my large refrigerators, having to shuffle the stacks of blood around somewhat to even fit them all in.

“That should be enough..” I said as I stepped back from the refrigerator, going through a mental checklist to make sure I hadn’t overlooked anything.

I walked throughout my house, entering each room at least a dozen times to see if there was anything I could improve upon. Closing each blind as I went with the soon approaching dawn.

My eyes lingered upon my bed in my room perhaps a bit longer than they should have before I began to feel the slightest bit flustered. I closed the door and walked down the hallway swiftly, as if to leave those thoughts behind me as fast as I could.

“No, Soobin. Don’t let your mind go there.”

I entered my study, staring at the piano standing silently in the middle of the floor. It was the last thing I had to tend to and, of course, was the most important. I hadn’t tuned it in years. It would only take me approximately half an hour but I knew it had to be perfect.

I set to work on cleaning it first, suddenly regretting the amount of dust that ended up on my recently polished floors. As much as Kai’s human eyes probably wouldn’t notice it, _I_ noticed it. I used my special piano polish to bring its somewhat faded dark wood back to life, carefully getting into every groove and curve, not missing a single inch.

I sat down on the long seat bench and lifted the top of the piano up, picking up the tuning lever and slotting it down onto the tuner head of middle C and made my adjustments. I went through each note, every octave, meticulously turning the lever at every note that sounded flat or sharp. I didn’t need a tuning fork or an electronic unit to know if I was right or not, I had been around long enough to know my notes. That part of my mind never faded. If anything, it became more attuned with my sensitive hearing.

I stood back from the piano, finally happy with my work. I looked over it attentively and became curious of what Kai’s reaction would be. I hoped I had done enough to satisfy him.

I walked slowly back to my bedroom, letting myself fall back onto my bed freely, linking my fingers together across my stomach as I stared up at the ceiling. The smile Kai had brought to my lips several hours ago seemed to still remain. If I were still human, my face would have hurt by now. I let my linked hands come up to behind my head and started humming one of the songs he had performed into the quiet darkness of the room, letting the dawn hours tick down outside.

7 o’clock that evening couldn’t come fast enough.


	11. Chapter X

I played with the buttons of my shirt nervously as I stared down my reflection in the mirror of my bedroom. I wasn't completely convinced with the deep rose red silk shirt I was wearing. Yeonjun had gifted it to me about ten years ago and it was the first time it had ever touched my skin.

"Is it too bold?" I asked myself as I turned sideways to view myself. I sighed, thinking that this was perhaps more Yeonjun's style than my own.

I must have undone and redone up my top button a dozen times. I even undid three buttons at one point before swiftly changing my mind.

"No, Soobin, you are not a plate of meat. Be respectful." I decided as I left the shirt buttoned all the way up to my throat. Something was missing though.

I looked across to my coat stand and my favourite item that hung upon it. I swept it up and slid my arms down into the comfort of the satin lined sleeves, tugging the velveteen coat over my wide shoulders and straightened it out.

"That's better.." I whispered, finally satisfied with my attire for the evening.

It was 6:30pm again and it was close to the time I had to leave to collect Kai. He thought it strange when I originally said I would walk him over rather than let him go alone, but I still couldn't tempt fate by letting him wander in solitude during the dark hours.

I left my room after some more fussing with my appearance and headed towards my front door. I stopped briefly to check how my hair was sitting in the mirror before finally leaving.

It did not take me long to reach Kai's house, but seemed a much shorter trip than usual with how my mind was racing. I kept thinking still if there was anything I had missed in my house that wouldn't appeal to him. Any further improvements I could have made. The only thing I had to worry about was Kai staying out of my kitchen, there weren't too many excuses I could give to him if he opened one of my refrigerators.

I now stood before his front door, smiling at how he had put the outdoor light on for me to see in the dark. What a thoughtful person. I felt my stomach jump up into my throat as I knocked on his door, slowly stepping back, opening and closing my hands as a nervous reaction.

I heard his footsteps from inside, almost hurrying towards me. Then the door suddenly flung open and I was greeted with the sunshine of his existence that shone from within.

"Hey!" he said excitedly and that smile he had kept plastered on my face last night was suddenly present on me again.

"Good evening, Kai" I smiled at him and he locked and pulled his door closed behind him.

We started our short journey to my house and I noted what he was wearing. The same dark fitted jeans from the previous night, a t-shirt in the same shade of black but with a multi faded denim jacket over top. It suited him very well, I almost tripped over a tiny bump in the pavement with how much I let my eyes become distracted by him. I played it off as he laughed at me.

We arrived at my abode and Kai's footsteps seemed to slow the closer we got to the front door.

"You really live here?" his eyes were wide as he tried to take in the size of the house. It certainly wasn't as large and extravagant as Yeonjun's, but could have almost been designed by the same architect.

"It's nothing much.." I played it down humbly.

I saw Kai mouth 'wow' as I unlocked the door and pushed it open, stepping to the side to let Kai come in. His pretty mouth hung open slightly as he walked through, I caught the scent of the cologne he was wearing as he walked past me. It was musky, a deep, almost sandalwood spice to it that took me back in time to the 1930s. The scent of a fine gentleman. And he was that.

"Oh my God, your house is amazing.." he stood further into the entrance way and twirled around on the spot, taking in the sight of everything his eyes would meet.

"That mirror is 10 times bigger than mine" he laughed as he saw the black framed piece of glass next to me.

I smiled and finally closed the door behind me. The first impressions of my house seemed to be a good one thus far.

"And you live here all by yourself?" he asked as he followed me, starting to lead him into my large study.

"Yes. I guess it's a bit too big for one person, but I like having plenty of space to enjoy things."

I stood to the side of the wide doorway of my study, flicking the light on as the crystal chandelier that hung directly above the piano came to life, illuminating everything with a soft light.

Kai slowly stepped forward, I watched him closely as his eyes fell onto the instrument and I heard his intake of breath enter his lungs.

"Oh my God, Soobin..." he breathed back out in a hushed manner. I smiled at his initial reaction. Something about the way he said my name deeply pleased me.

He slowly walked forward towards the piano and I followed. His eyes traced every edge, his fingertips gliding over the top of the heavily but intricately engraved mahogany top. His hands rubbed along the grooves of the many roses, thorns, and leaves that I had spent last night perfecting in appearance. The gold finishing inside the piano reflected back up into his awestruck eyes and I wondered for a moment if this is how I looked when I was looking at him.

He took a moment to just breathe and gaze at it, slowly shaking his head and a subtle smile on his face.

"Where on earth did you find this?" he turned to me and I had to think of an answer that seemed plausible.

"It was given to me as a child. I just haven't played it for an age."

He looked back in shock at the piano and stifled a small laugh.

"Did Beethoven himself give it to you?"

Not entirely impossible. I was born during the height of his career.

"You would think that.." I smiled and walked over to join him in admiring the instrument. The large open fireplace to the right of the room was still roaring away. I had lit it before I left the house for it to be warm for Kai. But it also added as a more welcoming, comfortable setting too.

I motioned towards the black leather topped bench seat in front of the piano.

"Would you like to play it?"

"... Could I?!" he almost squealed out at me in joy.

"Actually.." I said as I looked over to my bookshelves.

"Since you mentioned him, how about.." I walked over and plucked out a very old book of sheet music, flicking through until I found what I sought.

"You play some Beethoven for me" I said as I placed the pages upon the sheet stand. _Moonlight Sonata. 1st movement._

Kai slowly sat down and looked perplexed at the notes before him.

"This is... some very old sheet music, Soobin."

Indeed it was. Hand written. But kept in immaculate condition.

"I mean, I can still read it, but... I just can't believe you _own_ things like this. They must have cost you a fortune to get."

"Or just live 200 years ago. It's a much cheaper option" I offered a somewhat knowing smile to myself but Kai laughed it off.

He slowly seemed to slip out of his astonishment as he looked down at the keys in the low light of the study, that ever mystical air around him returning whenever he played an instrument. I simply could not get enough of it.

[Moonlight Sonata- First Movement- Beethoven](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbTVZMJ9Z2I&list=PLx3sQc7YekdGU5M7NCGkB_xFE7-_USZyc&index=4)

He began. The deep, rolling notes resonated through the room, off every surface and back into my ears. I slowly circled the piano as he played, wanting to hear the notes from every angle. He read the notes with ease, not missing a single bar. As somber as the piece of music was, it was what I had always dreamed of hearing as a child, my piano producing this kind of beauty. My own hands could never meet with my emotions well enough. But Kai... the music, himself, they were one.

I stood at the end of the piano, my gaze upon him somewhat hidden by the upright top. I began to think I could be quite content with this view every evening, for the rest of my existence. Kai playing for me until the dawn. And me, completely lost to his beauty and talent.

The song closed and he was suddenly looking around for me, not noticing I had moved from his side.

"Perfection" I said and his eyes shot back forward to see me at the back of the large, wooden instrument. His bottom lip moved for a moment, as if to stumble across words that he had not even spoken. I could have sworn I saw the faintest shade of pink upon his pastel white cheekbones at my comment.

"Thank you.." he said quietly and shifted upon his seat as he smiled.

"This is... so amazing to play. It's..." he trailed off and shook his head as he gazed down at the keys before him.

"It's something you may only come across once in a lifetime."

I didn't know what was truer. His statement about the piano. Or my identical thought of Kai existing in general.

I finally came back around and motioned to the wall of bookshelves.

"Every single shelf, every book, is filled with music. Take a look and choose something else to play if you so wish."

"Are you sure?" he asked, almost like he was cautious to be too excited about it.

"Of course. Can I get you a drink while you browse?"

"Oh yes, please!" he smiled and lifted himself from the seat, making his way over to the bookshelves.

I turned around behind him and made my way to my kitchen, an uncharacteristic bounce in my steps.

I opened one of the four large bottles of grape juice I had acquired for him and looked through my cupboards to find something that _wasn't_ a wine glass. But it seemed to be all I had available. I knew I had overlooked something.

I returned to him a short moment later with his beverage, I was surprised to see he had already collected a pile of books almost a foot tall on top of the piano.

"Your collection, Soobin.." he started as he heard my footsteps approach.

"I mean... there are collectors out there who could only _dream_ to own some of these!"

I smiled, allowing myself the tiniest amount of smugness in what he said. I was happy I was making such a good impression.

"You can take some of them, if you want to. I don't play anymore."

He looked at me as I placed his grape juice on top of the piano, as if I had two heads.

"I could never take these, Soobin, they're far too valuable."

"What good is their value if they aren't being used? They sit and gather dust."

He looked down at the piano adaptation of Vivaldi's Four Seasons in his hands and I thought maybe I should retract my statement. If he took what he liked with him, why should he come back?

"Of course that's not to say, you could just come here and play anytime."

"I'd love to come and play.." his eyes hid underneath his fluffy bangs and the sound in his voice had a tone to it I wasn't accustomed to. Was he trying to make a flirtatious comment at me? I couldn't tell.

"I um... found something else to play" he coughed as he tried to bring his eyes to meet mine after his previous statement.

"I see that. Vivaldi. Which season?"

Please say Spring.

"I really like Spring."

Oh Kai, your _taste._ How delicious it was.

He placed the music sheets on the stand and shuffled around to make himself comfortable once more. I walked past him to put another two logs of wood onto the fire. It sparked back to life, as did my piano in the same instant. I stared into the flames as Kai played and suddenly felt my surroundings transformed.

[Fours Seasons (Spring) First Movement- Vivaldi](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGFqtOdEIWk&list=PLx3sQc7YekdGU5M7NCGkB_xFE7-_USZyc&index=5)

It was no longer the end of Autumn in the middle of the evening. With every intricate note that Kai played, it slowly became Spring at dawn. I could hear birds sing their songs of love. Could feel the cool, pleasant wind against my face. I could smell the blossoms get blown through the air and delicately dance up into the azure sky. I could smell the new life in the trees and grass and the mildew upon them, a scent you could only smell at dawn.

There was _life_ inside my house. Daylight streamed out of Kai's notes and illuminated every corner of the room, sparing no shadow, he chased them away with the brightness of his tone. He made me feel the endless comfort of sunlight again. Something I had so desperately missed for the past two centuries.

I didn't realize it, but I was walking around my study as he played, becoming lost in the scenario he painted in the air around me. I saw him looking at me, smiling. He knew what his music was doing to me. I didn't care that he saw. I almost felt like _dancing_.

Just then the song came to its end, but my excitement had only just begun. I walked over to and past him with my newfound exhilaration, pulling a small table with a record player upon it out and next to the piano.

I turned back around to him and used the joy in my heart to speak before the fear in my mind could stop me.

"Kai... would you dance with me?" I beamed at him as I held out my hand towards him in invitation.

He didn't laugh like I had half expected him to. But rather he smiled and I felt his warm fingers wrap around my palm in acceptance, feeling the energy inside me burst open like a flower at daybreak.


	12. Chapter XI

I pulled Kai by the hand to the corner of my bookshelves that had music records within them, alphabetically sorted. I momentarily let go of his hand as I flicked through them to find what I sought.

"I didn't know you could dance.." Kai sounded intrigued and also slightly excited at the prospect. I smiled in response and pulled out the record I wanted.

"There are many surprising facts you don't know about me, Kai."

He laughed and continued "I never pegged dancing to be one of them is all."

"Do you know the Waltz?"

I saw him shake his head "No, but I'm guessing you're about to teach me."

"Perceptive of you" I smiled as I pulled a Johann Strauss II vinyl out of its cover, placing it upon the turntable of my record player. Delicately lifting the head of the arm and placing the needle down precisely where it needed to be. The piece started, _Vienna Blood Waltz._

[Vienna Blood Waltz](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSQrGAQZM5Y&list=PLx3sQc7YekdGU5M7NCGkB_xFE7-_USZyc&index=6)

I grabbed Kai's wrist and again pulled him behind me to the middle of the room, his smile never leaving his face.

"I will give you a quick demonstration. You move in triple time. 1-2-3, 1-2-3, do you understand?"

I saw him nod. Of course he understood. He was a musician.

"You move in a sort of angled square formation. Where your feet move first depends on who's leading. I will lead for this dance, it will be easier for you to learn."

He nodded again and the music really started to lift off from its soft open.

"Come here" I said softly and he stepped into my personal space. It was in this instant I only really noticed he was almost the same height as me, only a centimetre or two difference.

I held my left hand open for his at my shoulder height.

"Put your right hand in mine" and he did so.

"And your left hand rests on my right shoulder" to which he also complied.

I slid my hand down to his waist to rest upon his jacket, my thoughts wondered if I could slide it underneath to his t-shirt instead, but I fought down that notion as soon as it appeared. Perhaps, later.

"When you start following, your right foot will always go back as my left comes forward" and I physically demonstrated the movement to him.

"And then to the side, and back up, and across" I made it as easy as I could for him, and he followed beautifully.

"So you dance in a square, once you gain confidence and get your rhythm, we could then start doing circling squares."

He laughed quietly as he looked down at our feet.

"I think I understand."

"But first!" I interrupted our stance and took a step back from him as he watched. I stepped one foot behind myself at an angle and bowed deeply to him with my right arm in front of myself. It was customary to bow to your dance partner before beginning, of course.

"Don't worry, Kai, I won't make you curtsy" I grinned up at him and he was blushing now.

We resumed our dance position and began. I watched him move before me and he just naturally seemed to adapt to the foreign movements with ease, only momentarily forgetting once or twice.

I finally brought my gaze up from our feet and looked at him, he was smiling at me and giggling every so often. The flowing and often bouncy nature of the song seemed to fit our mood and increase it further. We were having _fun,_ this little ball of sunshine and I.

"You're a natural at this, Kai" I finally complimented him and stopped focusing so much on his movements as he needed no correcting.

"This kind of lesson could have come in handy during high school prom" he said, recalling his youth from only a few years ago.

"If you had these moves, Kai, people wouldn't have been able to resist your charms."

I saw him lower his head slightly and blush at my words again. I reveled in it. I was becoming much more confident in my ability to speak to him without fumbling over my words like a giant imbecile.

Just then the song's tempo increased and I forced him to dance faster with me.

"Oh this is where the fun really begins" and that little squealing laugh of his filled my study with the music as he struggled to keep time. I laughed with him, almost _giggling_ in childlike frivolity. I suddenly felt like my twenty year old self once more, or younger still. He stepped on my foot once, twice, each time laughing louder than he did before and myself with him.

He stepped back a little too far and almost stumbled, but my hand moved to the small of his back to catch his fall and pulled his body into mine, his chest and stomach against my own. The song ended and I was staring into his eyes as he stared back, could feel his excited breath push against the skin of my lips and I could quite easily have just...

I stopped. I pulled myself back and stood us both up straight. I cleared my throat and finally let him go as I turned around on the spot.

"So that's how you dance the Waltz."

I felt his hand on my shoulder, slowly turning me around.

"Can I... choose something?" he said shyly as he looked past me to the record player.

I was surprised he wanted to keep going, but I more than welcomed it.

"Of course!"

He walked past me and started browsing through my collective works. I stood there and admired him and thought about the small moment that had just occurred between us. I was but an inch from my lips being upon his but I... I had to be honest with myself, I hadn't done this before. I didn't truly know what to do. Maybe I should have asked Yeonjun a few more questions when I last saw him.

"Soobin..." Kai said, an incredulous tone to his voice. I saw what he was holding and I knew what he found had surprised him. It still even surprised me that I kept that record in my house.

"You listen to _Nightwish?!_ " and I couldn't help the bright smile at his reaction.

"You actually have some music in this house from this century" he teased me with what I could have sworn was a smirk.

"Jest at me all you like. I did say there are many things you don't know about me."

He shook his head in amazement and pulled my Johann Strauss II record off the player and replaced it with the one he had just found. He set the needle down to about where he wanted it. I was curious. What track had he selected? It was a heavier genre, not one to really dance to either.

[Slow, Love, Slow](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6l4H689FtM&list=PLx3sQc7YekdGU5M7NCGkB_xFE7-_USZyc&index=8)

I heard the delicate, whimsical piano start and suddenly I was smiling, agreeing with his choice wholeheartedly. He walked forward to where I still stood and this time he took my wrist, leading me around in a sort of semi-circle before he turned to face me. He stepped forward and slid his hands up to behind my neck and I almost stiffened at the action. This was not a Waltz pose.

He dropped one of his hands to my forearm and made me put it behind him to his back, smiling up at me from beneath his wavy lengths of hair that shimmered with highlights of red against the light of the chandelier and fire that still burned behind us. He was leading this time. More of a modern slow dance not uncommonly found upon dance floors for the past few generations. The air around us was different now. It deepened. Became richer. Full of mystery and unknown delights.

We didn't speak. His eyes constantly flicked up and down my face, all the while the soft smile remaining upon his lips. A silent flirtation in the way he looked at me. I allowed myself to gaze at him, the ever changing angle of light from our movements dipping into every edge of his perfect features. He had the very smallest of moles upon his right cheek and next to his eyebrow. I connected them with my eyes, a constellation upon his skin, making his existence shine brighter still.

_I wonder, do I love you?  
_ _Or the thought of you?_

The lyrics played behind us and they had me pondering. Was I ready to admit my feelings to him? I had to explore them further. I finally moved my almost still hands and pressed them more firmly into his lower back, finally brave enough to slide them underneath his jacket to feel his physical form more directly. I pressed my fingers into the smooth material of his t-shirt and could feel the small muscles moving and flexing with every step he took as we danced.

We seemed to edge closer to each other still in the informal manner in which we danced, the almost sultry manner of the song making it easier to become lost in the moment. I looked down at the tiny moles that sat upon his cheek again. I almost couldn't stop myself even if I had tried and I leaned around to tentatively press a modest kiss against his cheek before pulling back. He wasn't shocked like what I had perhaps mused he would be. He smiled at me understandingly. Had I been worrying for nothing this entire ti-

I gasped for air that my body didn't even need. His lips were suddenly on mine, his hand was behind my head, pushing through my thick hair. I could barely comprehend the moment, it was so.. he was so...

I felt his lips more as he did it again and I returned it as best I could with my non-existent experience, closing my eyes as he did to explore the feeling more. He was so sweet, soft, the pressure of his lips against mine was just enough to make the moment content but also not at all. The longing that started to build between us increased. It was everything and not enough, an internal struggle with my mind and my body, fluctuating between moments of fulfillment and a deep yearning I had never in my whole existence experienced.

I suddenly noticed that the piano was now at my back with how unaware of our surroundings we had become. Kai noticed it too and took the opportunity to press me against it and I felt my resolve slip forever further. His hands, good lord, his hands were everywhere, my neck, my chest, my arms, no part of my upper torso was untouched. I tentatively brought my hands up, caressing his sides gently before settling them on the edges of his broad hips. He deepened the kiss further as I felt his tongue enter my mouth and it began to stir something inside me. Something... itchy. Like a spot I couldn't reach. I was so caught up in trying to process what I was feeling that I didn't realize that I already _did_ know this feeling. I felt it before. The night I saw him for the first time. Suddenly I could sense... blood.

I pulled back from him suddenly and my worst fears had been realized as I saw I had accidentally bitten into his lower lip. I stared openly in fear, but he didn't seem to notice and he tried to kiss me again.

"What's wrong, Soobin?"

The way he looked at me with his half lidded deep eyes, the way his voice deepened suddenly. The song that filled the room was escalating and just pressured my mind and body to the point of no return. No. This was too much. This had gone too far.

He suddenly wiped his bottom lip with his forefinger and saw the blood upon it. I saw him try to work out what had happened until it seemed like he didn't even care.

"Oh... you bit me... Heh.. it's okay, Soobin."

No. No. _NO_. It was not okay.

And then it started, the tiny amount of blood I had drawn from him started to settle on my tongue and it spread like wildfire over my entire body. My muscles went tense. I went almost deaf with the pulsing, white noise that threatened to shut off all further coherent communication. My teeth started to throb in my gums, slowly emerging from the taste of him.

I pushed him back as gently as I thought I could as I circled around behind the piano, away from him.

"Kai.... Please.."

He suddenly looked worried. Of course he should be. I wanted to...

"Soobin.." he said softly, as if trying to call over a stray, frightened dog.

"Kai, you need to go. Now."

He didn't seem to understand. He tried to walk around to me, but I pivoted away. He stopped in his tracks and just stared at me. He was beginning to look hurt. But if he stayed any longer the pain I would inflict upon him would be far worse.

"Kai. Leave."

"... Soobin, I don't understand.. Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry... I thought you..."

"KAI. YOU NEED TO GO. **_NOW!_** "

I couldn't stop my arm as it swooped in front of me across the piano, knocking the pile of sheet music and the glass of grape juice high up into the air.

The look of fear across Kai's face was unmistakable as I whispered apologies into my head a thousand times, watching what I had worked so hard to get close to suddenly coil up into himself. The sheets of music slowly fell around the both of us and suddenly he was leaving quickly, just as I'd asked. I could not stop him. I was in no state to. I couldn't make sure he got home safely. I couldn't even protect him from myself, let alone anyone else at that moment.

I gripped the sides of my head as the blood lust almost took me whole, forcing myself to race into my kitchen and I pulled a refrigerator door open so hard, it almost came off its hinges. A bottle of Kai's grape juice fell out at my feet and the top came off, spilling the liquid everywhere. I grabbed the nearest bag of blood my tense hands could grasp and I bit down into it feverishly. The blood burst forth from the force in which I fed from it, getting more of it over myself, than in myself. I drained it dry and slowly fell to my knees. Collapsing against the edge of my cupboards as blood and grape juice leaked all around me on the marble floor, mixing to create an almost black colour.

The song in my study came to its end, the deep, metallic ticking noise of the clock mirrored the one in my entrance way. They overlapped each other in sync.

I closed my eyes and felt a deep seated sadness overcome me. I curled my body forward into itself, my forehead against the top of my knees. My eyes were suddenly burning hot, the first tears I had cried in over a hundred years starting to fall down my cheeks.

"Kai..." I whimpered out pathetically.

"Kai, what have I done.... Oh, my love..."

I cried fully, letting the floodgates out, drowning in them as my clothes became stained with the mixture of fluids around myself in the darkness.


	13. Chapter XII

The tears didn't seem to end. I more than made up for my lack of crying over the years during the hours that slowly slipped away during the night. I could hear the constant static noise of the needle of my record player skipping with no more songs to play. I was unmoving from where I had fallen. I heard the daylight hours outside me come and go in what seemed like the blink of an eye. Night time had come again and I realized I had been seated in the same position for an entire rotation of the earth on its axis.

Every hour that slipped past me was like a knife in my heart. Every minute another sixty tears fell for every second that was spent knowing I had lost him. The pain of having to leave my family after I had been turned, watching from afar as my parents, siblings and friends died while I remained. Trying to make new friends, but realizing it could never work with what I am, eventually forcing myself into solitude. No matter how grim my existence had been before that previous evening, these were indeed my darkest hours.

I kept thinking of his smiling face, the beautiful scenery he painted for me with his music, his laughter that filled my house and how I-

"Soobin?"

I could have sworn I heard someone calling my name, but I wasn't sure. I was deep in the recesses of my shattered mind that I almost couldn't find my way out of it.

"Soobin? Are you here?"

I slowly turned my head towards the kitchen door, a pair of black leather boots stood there and my eyes followed up the long, thin, almost male ballerina shaped body. He was not who I was secretly hoping would come to find me. But his concerned face did offer me the smallest amount of comfort.

"Soobin.... what on earth.." Yeonjun said as he looked around the surroundings of my kitchen.

"Is that... _grape juice_ on your floor?"

He stepped over it and got closer to me, perching himself down in front of me like a large wild cat. I looked away from him. The tears had stopped a few hours ago, but my ability to speak had yet to return.

"What happened here?"

Where could I even begin?

"Soobin, did something happen with Kai? Where is he?"

The sound of his name being spoken ripped through me like the pull cord of a chainsaw and started my tears up again.

"He's gone.." I barely got out, my throat was so raw and dry, my own voice was foreign to myself.

I saw Yeonjun slowly look me up and down after I spoke, my body starting to shake from the tears. It seemed to be enough to break down the usually aloof front Yeonjun had up and he placed his hands under my arms and lifted my lifeless body up off the floor.

"Come here, baby" he whispered the rare nickname he had given me years ago.

He started walking me down my hallway to my bedroom, pulling my deeply stained clothes off my body piece by piece. He took his own coat off and draped it over me as I just stood there in my underwear. Like a big child who had fallen in a muddy puddle while playing outside.

"I'll get these dry cleaned. My man who does my clothes never bats an eye at blood stains."

I just stood there, pulling the coat across myself, staring down at the floor silently. Yeonjun gently pushed me to take a seat on the edge of my bed. He stood back and looked at me.

"When you say Kai's gone, what exactly do you mean by that?"

"I.." I sighed and swallowed. I knew talking about it would just amplify the pain I was feeling.

"He was here with me last night. We... we kissed and I.."

The memory was still so painfully fresh in my mind, I didn't know if I could continue.

"You...?" Yeonjun edged me on.

".. I bit his lip while we kissed. By accident."

"Ah.." Yeonjun's voice deepened, like he finally understood the scenario.

"So he knows who you are now?"

I thought about it for a moment. I had briefly considered it as a possibility.

"I'm.. unsure. I don't think he suspects anything. It was an accident. I couldn't bring myself to take it any further. I had to tell him to leave."

I shuddered involuntarily at the recent, haunting memory of Kai's fear struck face that had been burned into my irises.

"You do still want to _turn_ him, don't you?"

I finally lifted my gaze up to Yeonjun, his hands on his pronounced hip structure.

"Soobin, you do realize you missed a perfectly good opportunity?"

I tried to open my mouth to argue his point but I wasn't coherent enough.

Yeonjun shook his head and sighed, turning around to walk to my wardrobe, digging through it to find me a fresh set of clothes.

"I know that you're not like me, Soobin. But would it _kill_ you to have a bit more confidence in your ability?"

I could now only sit and listen to the lecture he was beginning to give me.

"Here you are, Soobin, the 200 year old fucking _vampire_. A powerful creature of the night, your only enemy being the sun itself, and you can't even follow through with an accidental _nibble_ on someone."

He threw a pair of pants over his shoulder at me and he continued to look for a shirt.

"Let me guess.. he made the first move, right?"

"N-no... I... I kissed his cheek first."

Yeonjun scoffed at me, laughing into the space of my wardrobe and it echoed back out at me.

"Oh no, Soobin, I can tell. Kai was _all_ up on you and he had your blood boiling in your veins, didn't he? You wantedhim so badly and you couldn't handle it."

I was now becoming more annoyed than upset. There was no reason for him to be so patronizing about it.

"I mean, I could imagine... a fine young man like him all over me. My mouth would've been on his neck within seconds."

I stood up and stared Yeonjun down, his coat falling off me onto the bed behind me.

He looked over his shoulder at me as he pulled a shirt out and slowly walked over to me to hand it over. I didn't take it.

".. Sorry" he finally said and I swiped the shirt out of his hands in agitation.

The corner of his mouth arched up in a soft of half smile, half grimace.

"Kai is more than just a vessel that carries my vice, Yeonjun."

He stood there and stared at me, no particular expression on his face whatsoever.

"He's a beautiful, gentle-hearted, hilarious, endearing.. _angel_. And the most talented musician I've ever heard in my entire existence."

Yeonjun now had a knowing smile on his face, but it wasn't cocky like usual.

"He made me feel _human_ again. He brought sunshine into my house. And you're right. I _had_ him. I had his whole body against me and I _squandered it!_ "

I fought off tears again, holding them tightly in my throat to stop them from leaking up to the corners of my eyes.

Yeonjun's eyebrows were arching at me now, like I hadn't noticed something that he obviously had.

"Are you listening to yourself right now, Soobin?"

Of course I was. I was spilling my whole heart out onto the floor in front of him.

"Sounds to me... like you _still_ want him."

I sat back down, now pulling the shirt over myself and slowly buttoning it up. I wanted to shut out what he was saying. I had lost Kai. Nothing mattered anymore.

"And you haven't squandered anything."

I paused and looked up at him.

"Don't be foolish, Yeonjun... of course I have."

"Oh, Soobin, for someone of your age, you really are new to this world."

He bent down to be in my face, like he usually was when he was trying to make a point.

"You think people just give up on each after one little bump in the road?"

"This is much, much different, Yeonjun.."

"Now see, that's where you're wrong."

I stopped buttoning my shirt. Yeonjun was giving me hope, and I didn't know if I wanted it or not.

"You're a vampire. But does Kai know that?"

"...No.."

He tapped the side of his temple and grinned at me.

"I've seen many relationships fall in the past. And the biggest reason for that has always been because of their inability to communicate efficiently with each other. But you can still fix this."

"Yeonjun, how in the seven levels of hell do you think I'm going to explain myself to him?"

"Well, that's not up to me. I can't put those words into your mouth."

I pulled the pair of pants across my lap and fiddled with the hem of the waist in thought.

"Your biggest problem is being stuck inside your own head, Soobin. You _over_ think. And you end up creating these dreadful scenarios in your mind that may not even come to fruition."

I had never felt more described and exposed before. Yeonjun always did end up having a valid point, even if he had to make snide remarks before he eventually got to them.

He walked over and picked up my dirty clothes, folding them over his forearm.

"This may sound all too simple to you, my friend, but just _talk_ to him."

He turned and started making his way out of my bedroom, but stopped in the doorway to give one last final thought.

"He's probably feeling just as torn up as you are right now. Go to him. And don't leave until he knows the truth. Do yourselves both a favour and ease the pain."

"And what if he refuses me?"

That, of course, was my biggest fear. I saw Yeonjun bow his head slightly as he started walking away to leave my house.

"Then at least you can say you tried."

I heard him walk away with his slow footsteps, closing my front door as he went.

I put my pants to my side. I knew I wasn't going to put them on at this point, I wasn't going anywhere. I lifted myself off the bed and followed the path Yeonjun just took down my hallway but turned off into my study instead. Looking at the scene inside it was like recalling a bad dream.

I walked over to my record player and finally relieved the needle on it from its struggle of trying to keep playing the record that was still spinning. I looked behind myself at the roughly three hundred pieces of sheet music that were scattered on the floor. The grape juice and broken glass mixed in with the mess I had made. I sat down at the piano, tenderly caressing the keys that Kai had brought to life the night before.

I tentatively started playing the opening chords of a song I played as a child but soon found myself stumbling over my fingers. I stopped. I knew I could never replicate the same emotions in my notes that he could.

I pushed myself up and slowly started collecting all the pieces of music around me. I placed them upon my piano and decided I would sort through them later in the night. I picked up all the pieces of shattered glass, my floor was also sticky from where the juice had dried. I sighed and dropped it all. I had all the time in the world, but I couldn't be bothered. I needed the comfort that only music could give me.

I took the record off the player and placed it back inside its respected cover. I put it back inside my bookshelf and saw an album almost speak to me in the dark. Yes. This is what I needed.

I pulled the brightly coloured, psychedelic themed 1960s vinyl cover out. I shook the record out of it into my hand and placed it upon the turntable and set it to play.

[Sunshine Of Your Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_u1eu6Lpds)

I sat down at my piano and lightly bounced my head at the bass line, gently humming the melody line until the chorus came and softly sung it to myself.

_I've been waiting so long  
_ _To be where I'm going  
_ _In the sunshine of your love_

I smiled as I felt the groove of the song make its way into my soul. Slowly feeling the heaviness in my heart lift as I thought of him. My sunshine.

Yeonjun was right. As always. I had to talk to Kai. When, I had not yet decided. I needed this evening to myself to slowly put the pieces of my heart and mind back together.

Now that I had let him into my world with all the glorious daylight that he emitted, how could I possibly keep existing without him?

I couldn't.


	14. Chapter XIII

I progressively felt a lot more at ease about things as I tidied up the mess in both my study and kitchen. I played love songs throughout the entire night and day, further healing myself with my thoughts of Kai. With every piece of glass I picked up and every drop of grape juice and blood I mopped, my vision became clearer. I was doing my best to not overthink, as Yeonjun so eloquently put it. What on earth had I been thinking all this time, presuming Kai would understand my predicament, without him knowing the whole truth. I tried to put myself in his position countless times in my head and none of it made any sense to me. Why should I have expected it to make any sense to him? I wanted to plan things out more, to take my time and really think about what I was going to say, but what was the sense in that? Even with all the time I had on my hands, I couldn't waste anymore of it than I already had. If Kai _was_ hurting like Yeonjun presumed, who was I to prolong it any further?

The evening had come yet again, now two days since the incident in my study took place. It was 7:30pm and I opened my front door, but saw a small package sitting at it in the dark. Yeonjun had dropped my dry cleaning back off to me. I smiled as I leaned down to pick up the articles of clothing, placing the shirt and pants inside but keeping my security blanket of a coat with me, deciding to wear it out. It took an awful lot of mental fortitude to walk out my front door that evening. As much as I was trying to take Yeonjun's advice of 'simply talking' to Kai, that didn't make the task ahead any easier. My heart was equally balanced with hope and fear, forever tipping from one side to the other as I made my way to his house.

I approached my tree and stood behind it for a moment to see if he was home, a light was on, but then it suddenly flicked off. It was a bit early for him to go to bed and I wondered what he was up to. I was about to move from my spot to approach his door but it opened and I stopped. He walked out and I heard him lock the door behind him. He began walking out down to the street and took a right turn as he walked away from my position across the road. This had certainly put a hitch in my plans. I couldn't just step out from behind the tree and make my presence known. It would be too harrowing, considering our last meeting. But I also couldn't let him walk around at night unprotected. I waited until he had turned the corner up ahead before I started to follow him.

He wasn't going to The Black Swan, the route he took was going in the opposite direction. Was he going back to his place of work? He had started heading into the heart of the city. There were an awful lot of people around, for a Tuesday evening. I wondered if there was some kind of event on. I was quietly thankful for the crowd that seemed to grow in the streets as I followed Kai, it was much easier to blend in and not worry about being found by him. But also much easier to lose him too.

He finally turned another corner and we were on a main street in the city. There was a crowded line of people outside of what looked to be an old theater that they still used for musical events. Was he going to a concert of some kind? I didn't know what to do. I obviously had no ticket to follow and keep an eye on him. I felt guilty all of a sudden. He wanted to enjoy his evening out, and I didn't have the heart to potentially ruin that for him. I stood across the road, slipping into a secluded alleyway and watched as the crowd slowly filtered inside, Kai along with them. I made the decision to just wait until it was over. Modern day performances didn't seem to last anymore than three or so hours. I had waited for more than two hundred years for someone like him to come into my world, another three hours wasn't anything that would change that fact.

As the last of the people entered the venue, I could now see a large poster next to the open doors. I could make out the faces of two young men that seemed to be the musicians who were playing there that evening. But something about them looked a bit too familiar to me. The sharpness of their eyes, the paleness of their skin, the mysterious beauty you could only find on someone of... my kind.

I felt like a rock had just been dropped onto my stomach. I was suddenly scrambling from within the alleyway to cross the street, now standing in front of the poster on the wall. Their identities were unmistakable. Though I had not seen them in the flesh before, only through their descriptions from Yeonjun, I knew it was them.

"Beomgyu.... Taehyun...." I whispered out loud as I read their names in fine print underneath their photographs.

What was... going on? I felt the world spin around me. Yeonjun told me that they were essentially wild beasts of the night, not capable of any sort of coherent thoughts. Certainly not one as well planned out as posing as a musical duo to find their prey.

 _"Kai"_ I breathed out desperately as I tried to make my way inside, but one of the security guards stopped me.

"Sir, your ticket please?" the middle aged man asked me. I had no ticket to give. I could have easily slipped past him, but I couldn't afford to cause a scene.

"I don't have one" I said as I reached into my pants pocket.

"Then you ain't gettin' in" he said smugly to me.

I pulled out a rather sizable stack of modern day currency notes and forced them into the security guard's hands. I always kept some on me. I didn't spend much money on anything else rather than trying to get myself out of situations like this one.

The man looked down quietly at the 1000-odd dollars I had just placed into his eager palms and he gave me a subtle nod. He stepped aside as he looked around himself and I pushed through the entrance way and into the foyer. A young girl ahead of me held the door to the theater open and I rushed to get inside.

The entire venue was packed from wall to wall, like sardines in a can. I used my above average height to try to see if I could find Kai, but I was at a loss. The amount of people around me blurred my senses, I was taking in so many scents of people that it all mixed to become one. Pinpointing one individual was like trying to find a drop of blood in a whole bucket full of it.

I saw the stage lights burst to life in shades of red and purple and felt my situation escalate further as the crowd roared around me in delight. I saw two figures emerge from the shadows and step forward onto the stage as smoke rolled along the edges. The people cheered louder as they saw the silhouettes of the two of them. I stepped back as far as I could, fighting my way into a corner. I couldn't let them find Kai, but I couldn't let them find me either.

Spotlights suddenly illuminated the pair and I found myself petrified at their presence.

Beomgyu stood to the left. He wore a cream coloured, modernized version of something not too different from what I would have worn in my youth. Ruffles, silk and carefully embroidered cotton. His hair was every bit as deeply black as my own, but sat perfectly across his eyebrows. Not a strand out of place. His large, almond shaped black eyes bore through everything he laid them upon. His poised posture, thin but lean legs and arms perfectly placed. He lifted his chin up slightly to view the audience down the end of his model nose. A condescending nature in the way he looked at the humans before him. He was every bit of a young and powerful prince that you could imagine. A prince of death.

I looked across to the right of the stage at Taehyun. He was dressed entirely in black from his feet to his shoulders and was topped off with striking blood red hair, parted every so slightly. Underneath the fiery strands sat those.. eyes. People would have thought he was wearing eye contacts, but I knew they were his own, the same piercing colour as his scarlet strands. His sharp jawline could have cut me from afar just by glancing at it. He was smaller in stature than his counterpart, but that didn't stop me from being just as equally terrified of him with his body language that radiated a deep and terrible foreboding. Something about how fast his eyes moved across the audience as they cheered for them.. deeply concerned me. Someone that could sense a slight of hand. Someone that would not miss the smallest of details.

They walked across the stage towards each other and grabbed their respective microphone stands. The speakers around me began to hum and vibrate, a heavily distorted noise started to increase in tension as their opening song began. The crowd's cheers escalated along with it.

[The Dead Of Night](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5dWdltVqzU&list=PLx3sQc7YekdGU5M7NCGkB_xFE7-_USZyc&index=10)

The song dripped with every bit of malice and sinister intent as they did. Their voices mixed together in harmony that created a sound unlike anything I'd ever heard. So dark, vindictive and taunting. Little did the crowd realize it wasn't an act. Their malevolent lyrics gave truth to their terrible schemes.

As much as my objective was to find Kai and get him out of there, I was too caught up in the clutching fear the duo held me in. As horrible as the scenario was, I was astonished at the amount of sheer genius that was behind their masks. They had found a way to blend in and appear harmless in a modern society. The audience was their hunting ground, viewing them all from a safe distance until the night had closed, allowing them to track down the few people who caught their eye in particular. Not unlike someone at a butchers shop, picking out the very finest cuts of meat from a wide selection.

Kai... he would surely stand out to them, as Yeonjun had mentioned to me previously. I had to find him and it had to be before Beomgyu and Taehyun did.

I slowly started to move in amongst the crowd, keeping my head low as I tried my best to squeeze into small pockets of empty space. I tried to hone my senses more, but the atmosphere was even more thick and chaotic than when I first walked in. I was running out of time. I felt Kai's safety slip through my fingers more and more as the music continued. There was no point in calling his name. I could barely hear myself think in the place.

A song of theirs came to an end and it seemed like the performance had paused for a moment as Taehyun began to speak to the audience.

"What a delightful crowd we've gathered here this evening. Wouldn't you agree, Beomgyu?"

"They're positively delicious."

The crowd cheered again with the seemingly harmless compliment they paid them. Their spoken voices were every bit as dangerous as their singing.

"For our next song, we like to invite a few special people from the audience to join us here on stage. It's a song you'll all know."

No... This was getting way beyond my control. I felt my blood thicken with nerves. I was near the front of the stage now, but I was almost crouching behind a few taller people. My eyes darted everywhere from my position, but I still could not find him.

"Which one do you want, Beomgyu?" Taehyun asked light heartedly.

Kai... I hoped you didn't have your hand up right now. I had never prayed a day in my life, but I did in that moment.

"Hmmmmmmmm..." Beomgyu mused and I saw his eyes fixate on someone towards the center. I tried to follow his line of sight, but it was impossible.

"That one, Taehyun. I want that one" he said in all his somewhat spoiled nature, like a child who had just picked out the biggest, most expensive toy in a store.

"Oh yes..." Taehyun almost _moaned_ out. "I agree."

"Come to the stage, young man."

Young man... no.. it couldn't be. What were the odds.. Kai, please...

I started to see someone come forward and I was now pushing to see who it was. I almost screamed as I saw him. The sunshine of my life was making his way through the crowd right into the hands of the pair.

I was suddenly barging, forcing my way through the people, potentially harming a lot of them with my strength. I didn't care. I began to yell his name at him.

"KAI! NO! **KAI!!** "

He didn't hear me, the crowd was too loud. He was almost at the stage now. I'd have enough. I couldn't risk his life.

I ploughed through the audience, security guards now grabbing at me from the chaos I was causing, but I shrugged them off easily. I finally had a clear run in front of me and I took it. Reaching him within a second. I grasped Kai's wrist as soon as he was about to take his first step up to the stage. He whipped his head around to see who had grabbed him.

"Soobin?!"

"Quickly Kai, we need to leave" I said quietly, I could now feel Beomgyu and Taehyun's stares upon me. Could almost feel their cold, deadly grasp upon my neck.

"Soobin, what are you doing here?"

He was confused, but I couldn't explain anything. I pulled him with me through the crowd and he resisted for a moment but I held him tight. I knew I was leaving bruises upon him.

"I don't understand, what's going on?!" he was becoming agitated at me. I threw my head back to him and saw the deep concern in his eyes. I looked over his shoulder and the _gaze_ I was receiving from the other two vampires sent a god awful chill down my spine. I turned back around and continued to push my way through the people.

"Soobin, please explain to me what's go-"

"I will explain everything soon, just please, Kai.... Please... trust me."

I had no rights to that trust, though. None whatsoever. But I felt his resistance ebb away and he was following me willingly now.

"Look, Taehyun. Someone is running away with my new toy..." I heard Beomgyu teasingly pout to the crowd and they laughed in response.

His deep voice that boomed through the speaker system filled my head. But as much fear as he put into me, I knew I had the upper hand here. They would have to continue their performance to keep face. They couldn't just abandon the rest of their crowd and potential future acts by stopping right then and there just for Kai. That was their weakness, and I graciously exploited it.

Kai and I finally made our way out of the theater, his wrist still within my grasp. I stepped out onto the road and waved a taxi down. We couldn't walk this time, there was too much risk involved.

"Soobin... Can you please just tell me what's going on? Why are you here?"

I heard him, but didn't reply. The taxi stopped in front of us and I opened the back door for him.

"Please, Kai, get in, it's not safe here."

His expression was deeply concerned now. I didn't know which god or divine entity to thank at that moment as he finally seemed to give up and got into the vehicle. I got in behind him and the driver spoke to us as I slammed the door closed.

"Evening, lads. Where to?"

"4319 Choi Avenue. Please be fast, driver."

"Choi Avenue, you got it!"

The taxi left the park it was in and I looked behind myself out the back window as it increased in speed. I watched for any bystanders that may have seen us.

"Soobin..." I heard Kai say softly to my right, but my eyes were still fixed on the streets around us.

"Soobin." His tone was more forceful this time and it made me look at him.

"I will explain everything when we get back to my house, Kai."

The driver coughed lightly, like he was suddenly aware that there was tension in the car. Enough to slice with a knife, no less.

The journey was short, we arrived within five minutes. I dug through my pockets to pay the driver, but I had fleeced myself of money from trying to get into the theater.

"Kai... I'm terribly sorry to ask this of you, but would you mind paying for the ride? I used up all I had just to get in there tonight.."

I felt horrible. Kai was silent as he handed money over for the taxi, but it was a small price to pay for his life.

I gently ushered him inside with my hand at the small of his back. He was still quiet. I was picking up an annoyed vibe from him, but I didn't blame him for it in the very slightest. I locked the door behind him and turned to him.

"Wait here a moment, please." He stared at me with a particular lack of expression, but adhered to my request.

I quickly went through my whole house, bringing the blinds down. He finally followed me as I went into my study as the last room I was to tend to. He flicked the light on and it startled me. My mind was too busy racing from my fight or flight instincts that had been consuming me for the past ten minutes.

"Well?" he crossed his arms over his chest and waited.

His mood wasn't doing the most amazing things for my chances of him not running from me again, but I was left with no choice. I slowly turned away from him, giving myself a moment's composure. It was time to risk.. Everything.

"Beomgyu and Taehyun..."

I had to turn back to him. I needed to see his reaction clearly.

"They're vampires, Kai."

His left eyebrow arched up at me, his arms still crossed over himself.

"Soobin, they-"

"And so am I."

He stopped as I spoke. I stared at him, openly, with all the world's entire truths that I could muster. There was silence, lengthy and deep. His eyes searched my face, trying to find an inkling of dishonesty upon it. There was none to be found. He slowly dropped his arms from his defensive posture, looking around the study. At the piano, the music in the walls, then back to me, my attire, my body language and back to my face.

He slowly walked forward to me, stopping before looking down at my mouth, bringing a finger up to his bottom lip that I had bitten as I saw his mind tick over.

"A vampire..." he whispered, as soft as a newborn mouse's breath.

He looked back up into my eyes, edging closer to me still, now only a foot away from me. He brought a hand up to the collar of his shirt, forcing his fingers inside it and wrenching it violently away from his skin, three buttons popping off with the gesture. He breathed deeply as he tilted his head ever so slightly, exposing the side of his neck to me fully.

"Prove it."


	15. Chapter XIV

My lower lip quivered at the sight of Kai before me, asking me to demonstrate the truth in my statement. He held my gaze with his own, as strong and unbreakable as a thick, heavy chain. I felt him pulling me inward; an invisible force between us. I will not deny that I had imagined him like this before me a few times, each and every time I fought the thoughts down as soon as they arose in my mind. Seeming impossible that they would ever become tangible.

I took a careful step forward to him, hearing his deep breaths increase as I did. Was he... really asking me to...

I brought a hand up, carefully extending my nervous fingers to his neck. His tendons and carotid artery were pronounced from the tilting angle of his head and his heavy breathing. I could see the subtle pumping of blood inside the main vein with the keen sense of vision that I possessed. I could almost _hear_ it in between his inhales and exhales. My mind and body slowly became further engulfed in the sights and noise of his blood moving within his physical form.

My other hand moved with a mind of its own as I sunk my fingers into his thick, wavy hair, gripping it to hold his head tilted. I heard him sigh, but almost in a pleasurable manner, the sound just urged my desire further. I dipped my head down slightly to inhale the scent of him, I swore I could smell his blood now. Could taste it once more. I hovered my now open mouth upon his heated skin, I could feel his blood throbbing against the tiny nerves in my lips. I kissed his neck and his hands were grabbing at my shoulder blades, pulling me impossibly closer as I felt the entire warmth of his body against me. He was on fire and I happily drowned in the flames that he emitted across my cold skin.

"Please, Soobin.." he gasped needingly at me and it was almost enough to undo the final thread that held my composure together.

My gums pulsed and throbbed as my teeth started to emerge, the sharp tips were now gently grazing his balmy skin.

"Do it, Soobin... _save me_."

I blinked open my eyes as I could have sworn I heard him incorrectly. I paused. I had to be certain.

".. Save.. you?"

He didn't reply but his body started to gently shake in my hold. I looked up to his face and two single tears were falling silently down his porcelain face. I had never seen a deeper desperation upon someone's features before and it staggered my intentions. I felt like I was suddenly looking at myself. All my internal struggles were made physical in the tears that filled the depths of his eyes.

The sight of the precious, pained angel in front of me moved me like no amount of blood lust ever could. My hand released his hair and I brought it around to tenderly cup the side of his face, his tears fresh and warm under my palm.

"Kai.." I spoke gently, trying to search his expression for some kind of explanation to what was happening.

His tears fell more freely now, his head bowed and fell against my shoulder. I could do nothing but bring my arms up and wrap them around him as he cried. I couldn't figure out what just happened. He was so willing for me to drink from him, but.. Did he want me to actually.. End his life? Save him? From what? Apart from his perfect existence and beautiful talent as a musician, I still didn't know anything more of real substance about his life. He was usually so happy, why did he...

I looked over to the antique chaise against the far west wall of my study under the windows. I kept an arm around him as I slowly walked him over to it, sitting him down on it and kneeling in front of him.

His hands were tight, balled fists in his lap. I soothingly rubbed my hands up the sides of his thighs and tried to catch his eyes with my own through the tears that still fell.

"Kai... talk to me" I gently tried to pry his hands open to hold mine. They did, but they were still tense from his emotions.

It took a minute, two, three for him to finally regain his composure enough to speak.

"My life, Soobin... I..." I finally caught his eyes with my own and looked openly at him in as much comfort as I could summon.

"... I think it's about time I told you about it."

I stood up and sat next to him on the chaise. Whatever words he had to say to me next, I knew were going to be perhaps the most vital anyone would ever speak to me.

"I'm listening, Kai. Take your time" I tried to soothe him as I saw two more tears fall onto the back of his hands.

".. My parents, they... they died when I was still very young, I was only 3 and I basically have no memory of them."

I did wonder about his family. It deeply saddened me to know he grew up without his birth parents around to support him.

"I'm so sorry to hear, Kai.."

He shook his head and continued.

"I was put into an orphanage as I had no other family to take me in."

The loneliness he must have felt.. It must have been similar to when I had to leave my family after turning.

"I was adopted at age 4 but eventually my foster father... began to beat me."

I frowned and could feel my fists clench upon my legs. Who in their right mind could abuse such a beautiful little soul as he?

"He said I wasn't turning out to be the boy he wished I would be. He wanted me to pursue sports and become a great athlete, but all I wanted to do was play my piano. Music was my only escape from him, until one day he smashed my piano right in front of me."

"What a pathetic excuse for a human being" I spat. I was annoyed. No, I was _irate_.

"Yeah.. he wasn't exactly dad of the year."

"That's an understatement, Kai."

He looked around the study until his eyes fell onto my piano as I tried to calm myself down.

"I used to visit an old church after school and the pastor let me play the piano there. That was my only chance to practice."

"I'm sorry your family did not nurture your passion, Kai."

He shrugged and sighed.

"It happens in families a lot more often than you'd think."

How unfortunately true that was.

"I got my job that I have currently in the middle of high school. Doing small shifts after class. I saved up enough money to put towards moving out of home as soon as I graduated."

"I'm glad you got out of there."

He nodded, allowing himself a small smile, but it was brief.

"Yeah..."

I felt there was more to come. His story couldn't have ended so happily, given the tears he just cried a moment ago.

"And then I fell in love."

Was he... talking about... me?

"I met her at work."

Clearly not.

"Things moved really quickly between us. She moved in with me and we were... happy. For almost a year and a half."

I was a little surprised that he had experienced such a serious relationship before. I was almost.. Jealous of her. But I couldn't blame her for her taste in men.

"And then I started to see tendencies in her that I saw in my foster father.."

"She didn't... _beat_ you, did she?"

He shook his head and continued.

"No. But she started to become annoyed that all I seemed to want to do was play music."

I couldn't understand. How could anyone grow tired of listening to him play?

"And then one day.. I came home from work and she was gone."

"As sad as that is, Kai.. I'm not sorry to say that I'm glad she left. You deserve someone who appreciates your talents."

He bowed his head slightly, I saw the glistening of fresh tears in his eyes. Had I said too much?

"You're right... I wish I could have heard that from someone at the time, but I was very badly hung up on her. I tried reaching out to her several times, but she never answered the door or picked up her phone. I was wanting to make it work. I was willing to change myself for her."

His last words had me curious. Would he be willing to _change_ for me..?

"And then... I received the news only a few months ago, on my birthday no less.. That she had been killed."

I suddenly felt bad for the words I had uttered about her a moment ago.

"She was found in a river. Autopsy revealed she had been bitten and killed in some kind of animal attack. Her neck had been.. Ripped open. But the wound wasn't consistent with those of the usual animal related deaths they dealt with."

I sat silently as the situation now became a bit too real and I felt a sort of knowing look upon Kai be directed towards me.

"Soobin..."

I looked at him now, trying to hide the worry that entered my mind. Did he suspect I had something to do with it?

"I think I believe you when you say that vampires exist."

I had never felt more guilty for being who I am. A vampire had killed that woman, but of course it wasn't me, it wasn't even Yeonjun. Even though he killed almost every night, he was somewhat respectful about it. He buried his victims. Those two we saw earlier in the night, were the more likely culprits.

"Kai... I don't know if you suspect it to be me or not, but I speak the entire truth when I say-"

"I don't suspect you, Soobin. You're too... human."

I allowed myself the smallest of smiles at the grim tale. I lifted a hand to gently sweep some of his hair back from his forehead. He offered a sad smile back at me and looked back down, continuing his story.

"Her death.. Was really unlike any pain I had ever felt before. Because I hadn't moved on from her. I was mourning the loss of both our relationship and her life."

I could feel his agony now. I thought about him and how much of a mess I knew I would be if I lost him so suddenly like that.

"My life from that point took an even further downwards spiral. My boss cut back my hours because he fears he's going out of business. I can barely pay my rent some months."

I felt even more guilty about him having to pay for the taxi suddenly.

"I had to sell my car. I sold many other instruments I kept that I had been planning to learn properly. I even had to sell the nice piano that took me forever to save enough money for. Now I'm left with something that doesn't do the music any justice.."

He looked back up to my piano and continued.

"Certainly nothing that holds a shine to yours."

I looked over at the piano with him and wanted to burst out and say that he could have it, but he kept talking.

"I reached.. an incredibly low point in my life. I know I seem happy most of the time, but honestly.. it's just easier to plaster a smile on your face than appear miserable. Appearing happy gets you less questions from people."

I thought about what he had just said and felt myself become sadder. Had he really been hiding his misery all this time? Was he not genuinely happy around me like I was with him?

"And... when you saw me at The Black Swan, I played a lament that night. Mad World. It just seemed to sum up everything in my heart. It was my final farewell to the world, in a way."

".. What do you mean, Kai?"

His body began to shake again as tears fell yet again, but they were the most pain filled I had seen yet.

"I had planned to take my own life that night when I got home."

"... You..." I turned to face him more, getting closer. I was at a loss for words. Had he truly planned to die after I spoke with him that night outside his house for the first time?

".. And then you found me, Soobin."

I felt my throat tighten, I was almost crying, myself.

"You found me, and told me how much my music pleased you. You asked me if I was going to play again and I said I hadn't planned to."

"You hadn't planned to because you... were going to.."

He nodded as his thoughts completed my sentence. I stared at him. Speechless. My thoughts tumbled over each in my head in a maddening mess.

"But then I thought to myself when I got inside... how could I let such an intent listener like you down? Your compliments were the first that had ever been given to me, actually."

"Kai.." I gripped his forearm. These emotions that welled up inside of me. I could barely recognize them.

"I even thought to myself that night..." he smiled and blushed as he tried to hide his eyes from me under his hair.

"I thought I had never wanted to kiss another man before that night. I thought you were very handsome. I had never seen someone like you before and you... intrigued me."

I could barely believe what I was hearing. He had really been having these identical thoughts that I had about him, about me?

"I really... really enjoyed my evening here with you a few nights ago. Playing for you, dancing with you and.. kissing you."

"And then I ruined it for you..."

"No, Soobin. I understand now. You don't need to apologize for anything."

I felt the weight around my heart lift slowly as the guilt was finally released from its chains. He had forgiven me. As much as I still felt I didn't deserve it.

"It was just a misunderstanding."

"It was but I.. could have handled it better than I did Kai."

"I don't think you could have."

I blinked at him, almost shaking my head.

"If I had accidentally bitten someone as a vampire that I didn't actively want to harm... I'm not sure I would have had the willpower to stop myself."

"Not that I know what being a vampire is like.." he continued and I almost couldn't stop myself from asking a very pressing question before he interrupted that thought.

"How do you... drink?"

I looked over to my kitchen and smiled back at him as I lifted myself up.

"Follow me."

I lead him through into my kitchen, flicking the light switch on, revealing the refrigerators.

"Holy shit.." I almost laughed, being the first time I had heard him curse.

"Those are some... very big refrigerators, Soobin."

I slowly opened the refrigerator doors, one by one and saw his expression change to one of complete disbelief. If there was any doubt left in his mind about me being a vampire, it left at that very moment.

"Bagged blood... where you _get_ it all from? This is a lot.."

"I ransack a blood bank every now and then."

"Soobin... that makes you a thief" he grinned at me teasingly and I smiled back.

"I'd rather be a thief than a murderer. People can produce more blood, but they can't come back to life."

I realized the words I had just spoken and felt them ill-timed with the story he had just told me of his past lover.

"My apologies, Kai.. that wasn't appropriate of me to say."

"No... it's okay. I think I've dealt with all that now."

Had he? I wasn't so sure.

"Kai, you... still haven't told me what you meant when you asked me to save you before.."

He looked down at the ground, I saw his thoughts circling through his head as he struggled to get his next sentence out.

"To be honest, I'm now not entirely sure what I meant by those words either. I think I... realized that I just don't fit into this world, sometimes. I didn't know if I was asking you to kill me or.. For something else."

My mouth opened to speak but no words came. Did he want to be turned.. ?

"I just... don't feel content, being who I am. Everything I touch seems to disappear. My parents, my ex, my job.. _you_. Perhaps I thought maybe I should just disappear with them."

"Kai, I haven't gone anywhere."

"Yes, but I thought you had. I thought you didn't want me. For the smallest of moments after you told me what you are, I thought maybe you just wanted to kill me. My mind was so clouded, I really didn't know what to think."

He suddenly turned away from me, he reached inside the refrigerator closest to him and slowly ran his fingers along one of the blood bags.

"I'm sorry for asking you to prove yourself to me. That wasn't fair on you. I know you don't want to kill me, Soobin. Not after you protected me tonight at the concert."

"I'm grateful that you understand that now, Kai."

I saw his eyebrows knit together as a thought trickled down the edge of his brain.

"How did you even know I was there? I hadn't mentioned the concert to you."

"I've.. been protecting you from afar, ever since the first night I saw you."

"What do you mean by that?"

I was really going to have to admit to him that I was somewhat playing the part of a stalker.

"Every night.. As soon as the sun goes down, I sit across the road from your house and make sure no one suspicious approaches. I usually leave when all your lights go off."

He didn't appear nearly as disturbed by my words as I had feared, but still looked thoughtful.

"Is that because of Beomgyu and Taehyun?"

"Yes. There is one other vampire in this city, but he is of no threat to you. I made sure of that."

He smiled and shook his head, leaning back against the kitchen counter in thought.

"It really is a mad world, isn't it?"

"Truly" I smiled as he referenced his song choice.

"I'm guessing you won't let me go home tonight then?"

"Correct. I... don't know what to do about those two we saw tonight, but, it would put my mind at ease if you were to stay here until I work that out."

I knew I needed to talk to Yeonjun about Beomgyu and Taehyun. Sooner rather than later.

"Are you tired? Do you wish to turn in for the night?"

"Mm.. not really" he then grinned as he finally noticed the bottles of grape juice I had kept in one of my refrigerators.

"I could go for some grape juice though."

I smiled and gently pressed my hand into the side of his shoulder.

"Go take a seat in the study and I'll bring it out to you."

He turned and made his way out of my kitchen and I readied a glass for him before I closed all the refrigerator doors. I looked down at the wine glass filled with the purple juice and pondered to myself. I was relieved that he now understood what I was. I was grateful that I now knew more about him, as dreadful as most of his life had been so far. I had reconciled misunderstandings but.. The gaze that the two younger vampires had given me earlier as I was stealing Kai away from them was like a stain I couldn't get off my mind. They were only a fleeting threat a few hours ago, but were now a very real one.

I made the decision to not sit on that thought too much. I had Kai back in my house. He was safe. That's all that mattered to me at that moment.

I walked back out to the study with his grape juice in hand and saw him lying down on his side upon the chaise.

"Kai, your juice" I said softly, but he was unmoving.

I bent to look at his face and his eyes were closed. I smiled as I realized he had fallen asleep, after only just telling me he wasn't tired. I placed his juice on a small table next to me and sat down next to the top of his head, trying not to disturb him. I failed as he moved around and suddenly he had an arm wrapped around my thigh closest to him, nudging his head up to lie it across my lap.

My smile brightened as I watched him. I accepted that I wasn't moving for the rest of the night. As gently as I could, I began running my fingers through his soft hair. The smell of his conditioner rose up into my head and intoxicated me. I carefully ran my thumb along his jawline, taking in all his heavenly beauty. By the Gods, he was perfect. And I had him. Safe against me. I don't quite know what urged me to, but it seemed to come almost naturally as I began to softly sing a lullaby to him as he slept.

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_ _  
_ _You make me happy, when skies are gray_ _  
_ _You'll never know, dear, how much I love you  
_ _Please don't take my sunshine away_


	16. Chapter XV

The night slipped away quietly outside as I kept my spot underneath Kai’s dozing head. I had never until that point watched someone sleep before and it made me almost melancholy. I was grateful Kai was resting so deeply after his draining evening, but I was quietly envious. For someone like me, and I don’t speak of the vampire part, but my personality; sleep was something I deeply missed. I knew a good night’s rest was prime for resetting your mood and letting thoughts almost work themselves out. Maybe that was part of my problem. Trying so hard to be human still but my body lacked the tiring capabilities of assisting with that facade. It did have its perks, however. It would mean I would never grow weary of gazing at Kai’s beauty as he slept. Any dreams I could have of him would pale in comparison to him in the flesh.

I heard the dawn approach outside and I knew I had to wake Kai soon, but I suddenly felt guilty that I had no human sustenance in the house that would serve as a good breakfast to start his day. I heard the clock in my entrance way chime 8am and I gently pushed his fluffy strands away from his forehead, leaning down to press a gentle kiss against it.

“Kai..” I whispered to him and he stirred lightly. His eyes eventually flicked open, still slightly puffy from his slumber.

He sat up suddenly and looked around himself and back to me at his side. I thought perhaps he was scared for a moment and I tried to calm him.

“It’s alright, Kai. You’re safe. You just fell asleep.”

“Oh…” he bent his head down into his palms, rubbing at his face and eyes as he tried to wake himself up further and gather his thoughts.

“Sorry. I guess I was more tired than I thought.”

I smiled endearingly at him, he looked so young after just waking up, like a small child.

“No need to apologize, Kai.”

He looked around at all the blinds that were still pulled and bolted down to the edge of the windows.

“Uh.. what time is it?”

“My clock just told me it’s 8 in the morning.”

“Are you… going to let me go to work?”

It did cross my mind that him needing to be at his place of work was a possibility. I didn’t want to run his life, but I was still troubled with the idea of him leaving my house.

“What time will you finish?”

He was mid stretch as I asked him, arching over the back of the chaise as he thought about his answer.

“It’s Wednesday so… 4pm.”

I thought about it for a moment. I didn’t want him out of the house at all if I could help it, but.. I still knew daylight hours were of little threat to him. And I knew he needed to work as many hours as he could, given what he had told me the previous evening. I didn’t want to ruin his livelihood.

“I guess it would be foolish of me to tell you not to venture out in daylight..”

“I think I’ll be fine, Soobin. I promise I’ll come straight back.”

I stood up from my seated position and opened a small cupboard next to my bookshelves, pulling out a hundred dollar note before walking back to him and holding the currency out to him.

“Take this. I want you to use taxis to get to where you need to be.”

He looked at the note in my hand and then back up to me. He seemed reluctant.

“Soobin.. You don’t have to pay for me.”

“Yes I do. I’m essentially holding you hostage. The least I can do is pay for your travel.”

“I’ll be okay walking, it’s alright.”

“Yes, but-”

“Soobin.” He cut me off. Was I being _too_ protective? I didn’t want to agitate him again. But he wasn’t irritated. He was smiling up at me from beneath his slightly messy strands.

I looked down to his shirt, folding the note up and sliding it down into his pocket that sat on the left side of his chest.

He sighed and laughed quietly, finally accepting that he wasn’t leaving without it.

“I won’t control your intentions, Kai. But take it anyway in case you run into trouble.”

He finally stood up and grinned at me.

“Yes, dear” he smirked and began to walk away.

I followed him and wrapped my arms around his body, cuddling up behind him as I bowed my head into his shoulder, stopping him from walking away any further. He seemed initially shocked at my gesture, as was I, but he quickly relaxed into it.

“Please be safe, Kai” I whispered next to his ear.

“I will. I promise.”

I suddenly felt like one of the many women I had witnessed during the centuries, bidding their husbands goodbye to join the war. The unknowns and indefinite future ahead of them both. Every moment with each other was so precious and fleeting. I knew he was just going to work. He would be back that afternoon. But my emotions were getting the better of me.

“Is it okay if I call into my house on my way home? I want to pick up some clothes if I’m staying here for a while.”

I quickly did the calculations in my head, he only lived three blocks away.

“Alright. As long as you’re-”

“Quick. Yes. I will be, Soobin. I will be back before dark.”

I finally let go of him, my hand dragging along his arm, as if to hold onto him for as long as I could as he started to walk away.

“You stay here and be a good housewife” he grinned and let out a small giggle at me. It seemed to elevate my worrisome mood, if only for a moment.

“Cheeky little cherub, aren’t you?”

He laughed a bit more and I had to stay back in my study as he unlocked my front door. He ventured out into the daylight, the rays briefly cascading along my floorboards to illuminate them. The sight of it was so blinding that I had to turn away. I felt like I had just stared into the sun itself. I heard the door close behind him. I still felt nervous about him being out there, alone, without me to protect him, as silly of myself as it was to think that. I couldn’t shake the unwelcome feeling in the pit of my stomach that slowly churned.

“Tch… damn it all” I said out loud to myself as I realized I had forgotten to contact Yeonjun.

The previous evening was so full of contrasting thoughts and feelings that I had neglected to ask Kai if I could use his cellular device. I didn’t have a landline, but Yeonjun did. I needed to call him. I sighed to myself as I accepted the fact that it would have to wait.

And wait, I did. All I seemed to do was pace nervously around my house as daytime didn’t seem to move fast enough. I constantly kept checking my clock, swearing to every god I knew that time had seemed to almost halt.

At 1 I eventually decided to distract myself by cleaning my bathroom that barely got any use. My body that was frozen in time didn’t technically _need_ to be cleaned like humans, but I did sometimes fancy myself a bath. The warm water always offered me the illusion that I could still enjoy some human comforts. I set some fresh towels out and looked around the marble white room for anything I had missed, but my eyes picked up nothing that couldn’t be further improved upon.

I crossed my hallway to my bedroom, eyeing up the inside of it carefully. It occurred to me that I didn’t have anywhere else for Kai to sleep. It _had_ to be my bed. I had other bedrooms, but they were full of literature and other music that I didn’t keep inside my study. I set to work as I stripped my bed back and replaced it with fresh linen. I fluffed the pillows up as best I could. I angled the corner of the top sheet with sharp precision. I stood back and admired my work. Any hotel would have gladly hired me with the intricate details I put into my room presentation. I ran my fingertips over the silk end of the comforter as a few thoughts skipped through my head cautiously.

Would he… mind me staying next to him again as he slept? Was that too risky? I knew I was thinking too much again, but if I was being completely honest, it was more Kai’s actions I had to worry about than my own. I thought back to the manner in which he kissed me and found myself induced by the memory. He was.. Very forward with me. Or perhaps that was normal. Who was I to know? But he made it clear that underneath the often soft and cheerful disposition he wore, there was a deeper duality to him; a contrast of character. One that surprised and intrigued me, perhaps a bit more than it should have.

I cleared my throat as I stood up straighter, starting to walk away from my bed. Perhaps I didn’t have much to worry about. Now that Kai knew what I was, I very much doubted he would want to risk putting me into such a previous state of longing again.

With all the time I had spent tidying my house for Kai, it was now just before 4pm. He would hopefully be home within the next 30-45 minutes. And if he took a taxi like I requested, even sooner. I kept myself in my study, away from the potential blinding sunlight that would emit from my front door when Kai arrived. I set some music going and tried not to think about the seconds and minutes that were ticking down so leisurely.

I stoked my fireplace back to life, wanting the house to be warm for when Kai finally arrived home. I heard the front door open and I almost sprinted as far as the sunlight would allow me to, standing near the doorway of my study. The autumn afternoon light wasn’t nearly as blinding as the morning as I saw him walk through.

“Kai” I beamed brightly at him as he closed the door behind himself and I raced over to him.

My eyes instinctively passed over him, seeing if there was any harm done to him, but was relieved to find there wasn’t. He was holding a large packed duffle bag in his right hand.

“How was your day? Did everything go well?”

I realized I was acting like a giant puppy who was happy to have his master home, almost as though he was the one keeping me, not me keeping him.

“Everything is fine, Soobin” he smiled at me and I gazed at him intently to make sure that was the entire truth. I could sense no lies in his expression and felt my unease that had been holding me all day finally let go.

“And I arrived before sunset, as promised.”

“Thank you, Kai.. I’ve been worried all day.”

“I figured you would be. You should have a bit more trust in me” he grinned as he put his bag down.

“My apologies, Kai. It’s not you I don’t trust, it’s others.”

“I guess that’s a fair statement.”

“Can I get you anything?”

“Actually.. Do you mind if I have a shower? I realized I left this morning without one.”

“Not at all. I actually haven't long finished cleaning the bathroom for you.” I bent down to pick up his bag and took it with me as we walked down into my hallway.

“Oh, so you _have_ been a good housewife today” and he laughed at me.

“You should be more careful with who you jest, Kai” I teasingly threatened him with a half smile.

“The bathroom is to your left, my.. Your bedroom is straight across the hall. I’ll put your bag inside it.”

He pushed the door to the bathroom open but I stopped him before he could walk through.

“Kai.. could I please ask a favour of you?”

He looked back at me, closing his eyes for a moment as he smiled.

“Of course you can.”

“Do you have a telephone device I could borrow? I need to make a call.”

He laughed softly at me at my old fashioned use of language before he reached into the back pocket of his jeans.

“Sure do. There’s no lock on it, just tap the button on the right side.”

“Right…” I looked perplexed at the smooth, glass device he had put into my hands, covered with some kind of red silicon casing.

He closed the bathroom door behind himself and I went into the bedroom to place his bag down beside the bed. I then sat on the edge of it and I did as instructed and pressed the small, rectangular button on the side of the phone.

It beamed to life and I was greeted with lots of little digital icons.

“How on earth…” I scratched the side of my head in momentary confusion.

I suddenly spotted an icon that looked like a telephone, so I tapped on it with about as much confidence as someone stepping on a gas pedal in a car for the first time. Numbers appeared on the screen and I reached into my pants pocket to pull out Yeonjun’s phone number that I had been carrying around with me all day.

It must have taken me an entire minute to tap all the numbers and it started ringing, I could hear the shower head burst to life across the hall in the same instant. I looked oddly at the device and awkwardly held it up to my ear. Wireless technology confused me.

It continued ringing, but no one was picking up. He _had_ to be home. It wasn’t sunset yet. Unless of course he was busy with… other affairs. I wouldn’t have put it past him.

The line eventually disconnected from ringing for so long. He did not have an answering system set up either.

“Well that’s problematic” I said as I looked down at the screen shining up at me.

I decided to try calling again, but to no avail. I tried a third time and was beginning to become frustrated. I tried one last time before giving up.

“What are you doing, Yeonjun? I need you..” I whispered to myself as I stared down at the device in my hands. The screen eventually went black and decided I would try to contact him again later.

I went to place the phone down on the bedside table but held onto it as I saw something catch the corner of my eye. Kai’s bag had a name tag on it with his address.

“Kai… Kamal… Huening..”

I thought his name fascinating in its multicultural composition. I knew his surname was German in its origin, without a doubt in my mind. Kai.. I couldn’t be sure. There were many parts of the world that used that name. Kamal though… was it… Arabic?

I heard the bathroom door open from across the hall and Kai walked through the bedroom door with nothing but a towel wrapped around his hips, his body still dripping wet from the shower, another towel in his hand ruffling the back of his head.

My mouth fell open and I dropped his phone onto the hardwood floor in front of me at the shock that clutched me.

“Oh! Uh… I… M-my apologies.”

I knew I was blushing furiously, the blood in my cheek vessels swelling. I bent down to pick up Kai’s phone, fumbling with it so much I almost dropped it a second time. I kept my eyes down as I heard him walk forward even more. I couldn’t dare look up. I felt impolite to have even still been in the room at that moment. I stood up a little too quickly, trying to look at anything else in the room but him. I could hear him snickering at me with my flustered behaviour.

“You’re fine, Soobin… No need to be sorry.”

I wanted to walk out of the room, but I blindly held his phone out to him from the side for him to take it back, which he did.

“Did you make your call?”

“Yes… they didn’t answer. I might try again later.”

I then moved from my spot next to him, about to exit the room, but a thought nagged at my mind.

“Kai, do you mind me asking what your middle name means? I saw it on your bag.”

I tempted fate by turning to look at him out of the corner of my eye. Water still glistened across his broad shoulders, his back to me. He slowly turned to the side and I was suddenly thankful I wasn’t holding his phone anymore, it most definitely would have been on the floor again.

“Perfection.”

I blinked at him and opened my mouth to speak, I could already hear the unspoken words in my mind making no sense whatsoever. He smirked at me and I felt my insides almost combust at the sight of him before me.

“Kamal. It means perfection.”

“Right, yes.. Of course.” I nodded many times, almost as if to try and empty my head of the somewhat inappropriate thoughts that stuck to my brain. He saw my reaction to him and I wanted the earth to swallow me up on the spot.

“I will leave you to get dressed.”

“Soobin… I know it’s probably against your rules, but do you think we could maybe go out to eat? I didn’t have breakfast and I had to skip lunch today to fix someone’s guitar in time.”

I took an intake of breath and sighed it back out as I had to consider my next words carefully. I didn’t want him to leave the house again, but I felt bad about him having had an empty stomach for so long.

“I… suppose so, Kai. Let’s just keep it close to home though.”

“Sure. I don’t mind” he replied, happy enough with my reply.

He suddenly dropped his towel from his waist to the ground and I stumbled back into the door frame, turning around quickly and almost walking into it face first.

“RIGHT well… y-you just… let me know when you’re ready.”

I exited the room as fast as my feet would carry me. I had to undo the top button of my shirt as I walked briskly down the hallway, rubbing a fingertip along my right eyebrow.

“Keep it together, Soobin.”


	17. Chapter XVI

I pinched the bridge of my nose in confusion as I sat in my study, a wine glass full of freshly poured blood next to me; waiting for it to warm to the temperature of the room.

"Was that on purpose?" I whispered to myself at the image of Kai dropping his towel from his body that replayed in my head. It was exactly what I meant when I thought it was his actions I needed to be more concerned with than my own.

"Maybe I should stay in here when he sleeps" I said as I lifted my glass up, taking a small sip of the still somewhat cool liquid. I grimaced at the chill of it.

I heard Kai approaching and I looked at my glass. He hadn't seen me drinking before and I was briefly worried about what his reaction would be. He stood, now dressed in the doorway of the study, his eyes lowered to what I was holding.

"Oh.. do you.. Want to be alone while you do that?"

I almost wanted to say 'yes' but, if he was living with me for the time, maybe it would be good for us both for him to adapt to the ritual, together.

"I don't mind, Kai.."

He slowly approached me and took a seat next to me, the still damp freshness of his hair wafted into my senses, he smelled like a field of lavender during the twilight hours of summer.

"I will finish this and then we'll take our leave. The sun is setting about now."

He leaned back against the chaise, crossing one leg over the other, an arm extending along the back of the furniture. He was watching me now; I could feel his interest pique.

"Does blood.. Taste different as a vampire?"

"I can't recall the exact flavour of it before I was turned, but, according to an acquaintance of mine, the taste is vastly different and also not at the same time."

I took another mouthful, I could feel my eyes change under my eyelashes. I didn't want to make eye contact with Kai yet though as I kept my gaze level.

"What does it taste like to _you_ then?"

"It's.." I drifted off in contemplation as I eyed up the glass in my hand, gently swirling it.

"It's metallic. Earthy. But sweet, as well. I think it's the sweet property that becomes more apparent with my kind."

"Do you ever get sick of it?"

"I... don't quite know. My body won't take in anything else, it rejects it. And I no longer have the human urges of hunger to compete with it."

"Interesting.." he trailed off in thought.

Was he.. Really starting to express a genuine curiosity in my existence?

"Are there any other side effects to being what you are?"

I thought on it for a moment, before taking a large intake of the blood, almost finishing the glass off entirely. I slowly turned to him and looked into his eyes with my own that now burned scarlet. I saw his jaw drop ever so slightly as he gazed at me, but he was not scared. He looked at me with a combination of surprise and what I could have sworn was some form of admiration.

"Wow... They're beautiful.."

I could barely believe the compliment he just paid me. This was not what the inner workings of my mind had ever concluded would happen. Was he really asking me all these queries to figure out if it was an existence that he perhaps wanted?

I turned away from him, throwing back the last millilitres of blood in my glass and stood up.

"I will wash this and we'll go."

I walked away from him to my kitchen. I couldn't ignore the fact that I almost _liked_ talking about my existence and all its natures with him. I quietly hoped he had more pressing questions for me.

We took our leave from the house shortly after, taking a taxi to a very nearby street of restaurants in the area. The evening was pleasant, quiet, a stillness in the air you could only find during that time of the day and season. I decided to walk us into one of the busier restaurants, adopting the mentality of it being easier to hide and harder to find, if you are blended in. My experience the previous evening at the concert was proof of that theory. I got us a table towards the back of the restaurant, away from the street facing windows.

It was a touch awkward when the waiter asked for my order and I didn't give him one. I instructed Kai to get whatever he wanted. I wanted him to enjoy his evening and not feel guilty about my lack of eating. He roughly decided on some kind of egg dish that I had never heard of but I saw his eyes light up at the lobster on the menu. I knew he was reluctant to order the sea crustacean because of its price. But I made the decision for him.

"He will have the lobster. The biggest one you have, please, waiter."

Kai blinked up at me in surprise and I simply smiled back at him. I wasn't taking no for an answer.

"Very good, sir" the waiter bowed and took our menus, walking back off to the kitchen.

"Soobin... lobster is very expensive."

"And you're very hungry" I argued his point, my smile remaining.

He eventually accepted my gracious nature with a gentle smile.

"Thank you, Soobin."

"Of course" I nodded.

I looked around ourselves at our surroundings, it was a more higher class restaurant for the area, its setting and theme more suited for romantic couples. Nothing on the menu dropped below the value of around $80. Slow, delicate and airy music played at the perfect level of volume to carry a conversation, but could still enjoy the sound equally. The dim lights on the walls were just enough to illuminate all you needed to lay eyes upon, giving your partner for the evening the softest, almost seductive glow. You could hear champagne bottles being opened and poured, a constant but mild fizzing and popping among the quiet, flirtatious chit-chat that scattered around us. The tables, perfectly placed apart from each other to not overhear anyone else's conversations. A room humming full of deep privacy and matured affection.

I turned back to Kai to see him concentrating on something as he looked up, but not at anything in particular.

"What is it, Kai?"

"Oh, the song that's playing. I covered it once at The Black Swan."

[Everybody Here Wants You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lt95Mcl0dws&list=PLx3sQc7YekdGU5M7NCGkB_xFE7-_USZyc&index=11)

I turned my attention to it and smiled, though I did not recognize it, I could almost hear Kai singing it. And then he did, quietly to me from across our small table.

_I know the tears we've cried  
_ _Have dried on yesterday  
_ _The sea of fools has parted for us  
_ _There's nothing in our way, my love_

I smiled at him with all his beautiful tone and pitch and his last line of lyrics resonated within me. There _wasn't_ much more in our way, anymore. A whole week ago, I never thought I would be seated with him in this restaurant, our all truths about each other fully revealed and on display. An acceptance I had never felt before fulfilled me. I thought back to the night I had started writing those six little facts I knew about him, but now, I could write endless pages with my knowledge.

Kai's meal soon arrived at our table and I watched in delight as he ate. I had only read in books the flavour of lobster, and Kai's comments about it rang true ten fold.

"You know I just had a thought, Soobin..." he said as he finished his last mouthful of food.

"What's that?"

"You could have sneaked your blood in here and just emptied it into a glass."

I didn't know whether to laugh or write him off as insane.

"People would have just thought it was red wine" he grinned as he pushed his now empty plate away from himself.

"What a cunning mind you have, Kai" I eventually laughed softly at the notion.

He started fiddling with the edge of a cotton napkin and I could sense a nagging in his mind as he tried to find words to speak.

"What's it like.. _Being_ a vampire?"

I expected the room to go quiet. I expected alarm bells to ring and my neck to be cut from the words he had just spoken into the room. But there was nothing. The atmosphere continued to buzz around us. The music did not stop. No one was coming for me. We were still hidden in plain sight.

"The answer to that, Kai, vastly differs from being to being. Some embrace the night. Some rip it wide open. Some... hide from it."

"I'm guessing you hide?"

"For lack of a better explanation, yes."

He continued to play with the white dinner accessory between his elegant fingers as he thought more.

"How... old are you, exactly?"

"Physically or mentally?" I finally smiled at him. He returned the smile, the conversation seeming to lighten.

"Mentally."

I looked around myself at the people who continued with their evenings, oblivious to our comments being spoken in amongst it.

"Take a guess" I grinned teasingly.

He looked off to the side and pondered, until I saw a knowing smile cross his softly glowing skin from the lighting.

"You said that piano of yours was given to you when you were a child... I'm guessing at least 200 years old."

"Correct. My body, however, is the same age as yours, just eternally frozen in time."

I waited to see if anything I had just confirmed was an issue for him, watching his features closely, but I couldn't sense anything worrisome. His expression seemed to become deeper, like his thoughts were struggling with his tongue, much like my own did.

"Have you.. Ever thought about.. Turning someone before?"

The idle blood in my veins almost came to life again at his question, my senses seemed to heighten. I could feel Kai's long eyelashes bat a soft breeze as he stared at me, awaiting a reply. I could smell the autumn air creep in from under the door, forty meters away, cool and rich. I could hear each and every bubble pop inside the glasses of champagne and wine that surrounded me. As if my mind, body, soul and the entire universe that turned around me could realize that this was my existence's most pivotal moment.

I looked at Kai intently, reaching a hand across the table and gently pressed my thumb into a vein in his wrist, feeling the fast, excited pumping of his blood as I summoned the courage to reply.

"All the time."

We stared at each other, almost endlessly. Nothing was said. Nothing could be. I saw him and he saw me, the deep confession filled the atmosphere around us, drowning out everything else. The entire world could have burned down in that instant and we wouldn't have noticed.

He eventually dropped his gaze to my hand that was on his and he held it in his own, his fire enveloping my ice.

I knew I could say nothing more, and I didn't. I had given him all the information he needed. I could see his mind and the seed I had planted into it. It was now up to him if he was to nurture it or not.

He finally moved around in his seat and gripped my hand tighter as he spoke.

"Should we go?"

I nodded, thinking it wise. I didn't really want to be out longer than we needed to be at that point.

We took our leave from the restaurant, via taxi once more. The short ride home was quiet. Kai held onto my hand in the backseat of the vehicle for the entire ride. We arrived home and I asked Kai a pressing question that I had kept in the back of my mind all evening.

"Kai, could I please borrow your phone again?"

He smiled and complied as he pulled it from his pocket and placed it into my palm.

"I'm going to get ready for bed."

"Oh? So soon? It's only 7pm."

He turned his back to me and he gave a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.

"The past few days have been taxing."

"Of course, Kai. I understand."

He slowly walked away from me down the hallway and couldn't help but notice he was still deep in thought. I wondered if he was perhaps giving that seed in his head a look over.

I looked back down to the phone and dialed Yeonjun's number again which I had memorized by now. I knew, now it being night time, there was an even slimmer chance of reaching him, but I had to try. As much as I was enjoying giving my time to Kai, I still had to find a solution to the threat of Beomgyu and Taehyun.

The line rang, and rang. Perhaps he was out, as I largely suspected. I chanced my luck and tried once more. It rang only five times before it sounded like the line had been cut, a static noise flickered through the earpiece followed by repetitive beeping.

"How strange..."

I tried his line one final time and my ears were met with the same beeping as before. I slowly dropped the phone down from my ear and looked at the screen of digital numbers before me. I didn't know what to make of the strange noises I had heard. Kai's phone still seemed to be operating correctly... with as much knowledge as I had about cellular devices.

I stood in my entrance way looking at my study and then back to my hallway, trying to figure out which way I wanted to go. My instincts pulled me to the hallway and I accepted it. I got to the bathroom and could smell the scent of fresh toothpaste flowing out of it into my bedroom. I looked to my right and Kai was already upon the bed in a white t-shirt and his undergarments.

I stood in the doorway and noticed he had pulled the blinds up, the light from the half moon that evening filtered in through the bare branches of a tree that stood outside.

"You want the blinds up as you sleep?" I asked as I looked at him, lying on his back with his hands behind his head.

"Your windows are so massive, they let so much light in. I felt like being bathed in the moonlight tonight."

I couldn't quite place what it was that seemed suddenly different about him. He still seemed thoughtful, but it made the manner in which he spoke to me deeper, slower. Like he was thinking about every single word carefully before they left his lips.

I offered myself a small smile as I bowed my head, turning on the spot.

"Well... Goodnight, Kai. Sweetest of dreams."

"Soobin.."

I stopped as I took my first step. I listened as he saw my movements halt.

"Please stay."

I hesitated initially, his voice echoed in the room with a soft desperation that I couldn't refuse. I slowly turned back around and walked towards the bed, circling it before I sat down on the edge of the opposite side of him.

"Something on your mind, Kai?" I said as I looked out at the moon dozing in the night sky.

"There's a lot on my mind.. Most of it is about you."

I smiled at his response, looking back at him over my shoulder. Air became caught in my lungs at the sight of him, his milky white skin glowed like a pearl in the moonlight that reflected off of him and back into my half lidded eyes.

I slowly moved around until I was lying by his side, staring up at the same spot on the ceiling as he did. The same spot I used to see his face in my daydreams.

"Tell me, Soobin.. What do I mean to you?"

I looked back out the window to our left, gazing at the moon once more with all its little brightly shining star companions.

"You are... the sunshine of my existence. And I-"

I stopped. Why was this so much harder than our conversation earlier? Why did it feel like this mattered more? I hadn't admitted it to myself yet. I hadn't had this one on one with my mind, with those particular words I knew I was about to say, regardless of it all.

".. I love you."

I felt him sit up and he slowly leaned across my body, his hand now beside my head upon the pillow. I stared up at him and could feel a shift in the air once more, a crispness to it that I likened to the night we danced in my study. I could tell by the way he looked at my face that he wanted to kiss me, but I could see upon his face that he was at war with himself with the knowledge he now had of me. He lowered his face closer to mine and a mild streak of panic entered my mind, before he moved his lips to my forehead and placed the most tender kiss against it. He came back down to look into my eyes, and I wondered what I had done in all my time upon the earth to deserve his presence.

"I love you too, Soobin."

I could have kissed him. I wanted to. What other reaction could I have to those words? But I couldn't. Instead I lifted my hand to the side of his face and cupped his cheek, stroking my thumb along his soft, warm skin. Slowly a soft but bright smile spread across my face, probably the most genuine out of any I had ever given to anyone.

He dipped his head down to kiss one of my dimples that showed during my smile and it made the expression spread further across my features. I was so... happy. Not a word I ever thought I would use to describe myself only a few weeks ago.

He pulled back from my cheek and I felt his fingertips on my chin, gently tilting my head to the side and I wondered what he was doing. His soft lips were on my neck and I sighed deeply at the feeling, but I wasn't concerned like I feared I would be. He was gentle, slow in his kisses that traveled up the length of my neck as shivers were sent in the opposite direction down my spine. I was pleasantly surprised at how calm I was under him, slowly slipping my fingertips under his t-shirt to the fiery skin that burned underneath it. He stopped his kisses for a moment to whisper against my ear.

"Do you trust me, Soobin?"

"I.." I really didn't know how to answer. This had never happened to me before, in my human or immortal existence. I couldn't give a reply. I knew it foolish to just give one that he wanted to hear. One that.. I wanted to say.

"Do you trust yourself?" he continued.

No words could ever do justice to what I wished to express. I couldn't even think of any. This.. was not a time for thoughts, or speaking. I then knew my trust in him _and_ myself could only be felt. I gently placed my hands at his lower back and pulled him closer to me. It was the best silent reply I could give to his tender, whispered words in the moonlight.


	18. Chapter XVII

I gazed out the window next to me, I had been watching the stars twinkle in all their distant mystery for the past few hours. The deep, dark canvas they rested upon was starting to lighten and I knew I would have to move from where I was to pull the blinds down within the next hour. But I was too comfortable within the warmth of Kai's body curled up behind me, one of his arms underneath my head, the other was wrapped securely around my waist. I heard his slow, deep inhales and exhales of breath as he slept peacefully behind me.

My mind was.. Pleasantly exhausted, for perhaps the first time. My previous evening had left me with a rare, welcome feeling of overwhelment. I had surrendered myself to Kai in almost every possible aspect. My mind, my instincts, my body, I let him take all of it with his experience and care. Not once was I worried. Not once did I feel like any of it should have stopped. How funny, I thought it was, with just how much one can accomplish with a little understanding and trust. He had opened me to deeper feelings I never thought possible. I always knew, although my mind had not admitted it to me, that I loved him from the moment I clapped eyes on him. That notion was only further confirmed and enriched as the dark hours quietly crept around us. We became lost to the moonlight and found each other, entirely exposed within it.

I idly rubbed my hand over the top of Kai's as he continued dozing. The movement stirred him lightly and he unconsciously held me closer to him, drawing a satisfied smile to my face under my dark, disheveled hair.

My mind wandered off on a little journey of its own as I continued lying there, thinking of all the pleasant events that had taken place in the past twenty four hours. Kai inquiring more about my existence, asking if I had ever wished to turn anyone and me, giving him my gentle, almost indirect reply that he still recognized through the subtlety of it all. And now, as far as I could tell, was actively giving it thought.

I wanted to call Yeonjun again. I _needed_ to call him again. I found myself feeling almost guilty at my lack of motivation to do so at that point in time. Although I knew I was fooling myself, I had never felt safer and more far away from the outside world and all its threats. I was willingly trapped inside my own bubble of heaven. I loved Kai and, even stranger and more beautiful still, he loved _me_.

I could now hear birds starting to sing their morning song to the world and I knew I had to pull the blinds down. I carefully wriggled my way out from under Kai's arm and he groaned slightly, still asleep. I lifted myself off the bed and walked to the window, drawing the large blinds down and locked them into the sill. The noise roused Kai further behind me and I turned to look at him. He lay upon his front, the bedding I had worked so hard to perfect in its presentation now lay strewn upon his lower body in a disorderly fashion.

I didn't know what the exact time of morning it was. I almost didn't _care_. But I knew he had daylight duties, unlike myself. I walked back over to him and lay back down, facing him on my side. The movement of the mattress sinking with my weight seemed to awaken him.

"Good morning, beautiful" I said with a dreamy smile, gazing at him like the love-sick fool I was.

His smile that he returned became a cunning grin and he scooped my body with his long arms and pulled me headfirst into his chest. I softly laughed at the gesture and settled in against him, my now more confident hands holding his deeply warm body against me.

"Good morning, Soobin" I felt him gently press a kiss into the top of my airy head.

"Do you have to work today?"

"Hmm.. No. Thursdays I no longer work. Those were one of the days my boss took away from me."

I felt slightly saddened at his tone but I tried to bring some cheer back.

"I suppose you're stuck with me all day instead."

I felt his bare chest tighten against the skin of my cheek as he laughed softly at my comment.

"I think I prefer that option more."

I felt his fingertips soothingly slide back and forth along my shoulders and found myself further relaxed in his embrace.

"What did you wish to do with your free day then?"

"Nothing that requires getting out of bed for."

I suppressed a gentle laugh and blushed ever so slightly at his comment. I _could_ have happily spent the daylight hours with him in my bed, but I soon felt the delicate, heavenly veil we had created begin to thin around us. Yeonjun entered my thoughts once more.

"Kai... can I show something to you? I would like your opinion."

"Mm? Yeah, of course."

I rolled away from him and looked down at my pile of clothes on the floor, reaching down to withdraw Kai's phone from my pants pocket. I laid back and dialed Yeonjun's number again, and, disappointingly, was met once more with the sustained beeping tones.

"What do you make of this noise?" I handed the phone to him and he held it up to his ear in thought.

"It usually means the line on the receiving end has been disconnected."

Disconnected? Had Yeonjun done it on purpose?

"Who are you trying to reach?"

".. Yeonjun. He's the only other immortal acquaintance I have a friendly relationship with."

"I'm guessing he's the one you said I don't have to worry about?"

I nodded and saw Kai look at the phone before he placed it down between us.

"Do you.. Need to talk to him about the other night?"

I looked at Kai's expression, he didn't seem concerned, but I knew he was much more perceptive than he let on.

"Yes.." I eventually answered.

"Do you really think those other vampires want me that badly?"

Of course they did. The way they looked at Kai that night was like seeing two wolves circling a stag in the wilderness. Like they had found the biggest, most glorious trophy kill of all time.

"They're monsters, Kai. Although they seem to have found a way to blend into society without suspicion, their instinct to hunt and kill at will is still very much present."

I finally felt the surreal fantasy around us pop. Every harrowing thought that Kai had pushed deep into the back of my mind the night before were now beginning to rouse from their slumber.

"Maybe it would be easier if I _were_ a vampire."

I slowly lifted my gaze from his chest to his face and I could not in one thousand years decipher the expression upon it. I couldn't tell if he was making a casual, passing comment or if he had.. Committed to the idea. He _did_ hold a valid point though, regardless of his private thought process behind it. I almost didn't want to initiate my next sentence, but my curiosity got the better of me.

"Do you... really think you could enjoy this kind of existence, Kai?"

He rolled over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. I could almost see his mind, going over all the things he currently enjoyed as a human, and the disappearance of them if he were to change.

"There's a lot of things I would miss. I like to take walks in the park with my guitar and find a quiet spot to play during spring. I would miss going to the beach during summer. I would miss my job, as much as that's already slipping away from me, already."

I stared at him, I couldn't interfere with his thoughts or words. This was not my decision to make.

"I would still have music, though."

I suddenly smiled knowingly at him.

"That is true, Kai. Music has always been there for me throughout all my years. It's been.. All I've ever truly had, that didn't eventually disappear."

He turned his head to look at me, his eyes shimmered at me in the dark room, lighting a beacon within my own.

"Likewise."

He rolled back over to me, lifting a hand as he slowly drew the back of a finger down the edge of my cheek.

"And I have you too, now."

I couldn't stop the love stricken grin that crossed my face as I turned my head to kiss the edge of his hand. He moved to lean over me and pressed a loving kiss against my forehead.

"As much as I want to stay in bed with you, Soobin, I do feel the need for a shower."

"Of course" I smiled and watched as he rolled away from me, walking across the hall to the bathroom.

I looked down at the phone he had left upon the bed. I knew if I couldn't reach Yeonjun through calling him, I would _have_ to visit him. It wasn't something I wanted to have to adhere to, but I wasn't left with much other choice. I also had the predicament of whether or not Kai should be coming with me on my journey. I could only see Yeonjun in the evening, when the threat to Kai was at its peak. But I couldn't leave him by himself in my house, unprotected. He would have to come with me, as much as every fiber of my being screamed at me with the thought.

Our day inside my house was leisurely. I let Kai escape for a short while to get himself some food at lunch time. He returned with a bag full of little egg tarts from a local bakery. Watching that grown man sit there with them all on a small plate as he nibbled away at them was almost more than my heart could take. As much as I thought there wasn't much nutrients in them, at least he was getting his protein for the day.

The evening eventually arrived, as did my nerves about the oncoming situation. I walked into my study and briefly stood next to Kai as he played a song on my piano. I was going to interrupt him to tell him of our plans for the evening, but I didn't have the heart to stop him. I took a seat next to him as he played and I could recognize the melody line. I smiled as I softly sang next to him.

[Stand By Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pqW_4LH03c)

_When the night has come_ _  
_ _And the land is dark_ _  
_ _And the moon is the only light we'll see_ _  
_ _No I won't be afraid_ _  
_ _Oh I won't be afraid_ _  
_ _Just as long as you stand, stand by me_

I smiled as he started harmonizing with me during the chorus, singing an octave below my falsetto.

He softly closed the song with one last ease of his fingers and he turned to me.

"You know, you have a really good voice, Soobin."

I arched my eyebrow up at him, not expecting the compliment.

"I.. do?"

"Absolutely. Your falsetto is beautiful."

I.. hadn't considered singing as a talent of mine. I was always too bothered by what my piano tutor told me as a child of not having enough passion in my ability.

"Thank you, Kai."

"We should be a duo act at The Black Swan" he grinned at me teasingly, but I also knew he was partially sincere. I smiled and bowed my head.

"Sometime.. Maybe.. Kai, I hate to ask this of you, but I need you to accompany me somewhere this evening."

He looked at my expression, reading the dread upon it.

"I'm guessing it's not out to dinner?"

I shook my head and continued.

"I need to see Yeonjun. I... we need his help. He's the most worldly, experienced person or vampire I've ever met and we would do well to seek his counsel."

"I understand. You seem... distressed about it, though."

He was right. I was. Something unknown and lurking plagued my mind about the predicament. It unsettled me. Much like the felines that expressed their severe distaste for my presence, I too, was on edge from a deep foreboding I could not place for any cogent reason.

"Just promise me, Kai, that you'll keep close. Stand by me."

We both smiled as our minds connected between what I had just said and the song we had just sung.

"I promise, Soobin. Whatever you need."

I nodded and gently squeezed a hand of his in mine.

We left our residence not long after, my paranoid mind still feeling safer inside a taxi than out in the open. It arrived outside of Yeonjun's large, black metal gates. I paid the driver and felt a niggling feeling on the back of my neck as it drove away.

I turned to the house and Kai stood, flabbergasted beside me.

"And I thought your house was big.."

We slowly started making our way up the long driveway, Kai looked around the gardens in the lantern light at all the perfectly shaped conifer trees. I was relieved that through the windows, I could see the flickering of the multitudes of candles illuminating the inside. Maybe he _was_ just having telephone issues.

We arrived at the door and I gave it a knock five times and stood back as I waited, Kai's hand securely in my own. I listened intently and could not hear the familiar footsteps of Yeonjun that I was so accustomed to. I knocked again and waited once more.

"Yeonjun?" I said in a tone slightly louder than my normal mannerism of speaking. There was silence.

I chanced my luck of opening the door by myself and it did. I held Kai's hand tighter as I slowly walked through and stood three feet into the entrance way. I looked around the wide open space and was immediately greeted with the smell of smoke and wax. I glanced up at all the candles that were burning but noticed something strange about them all. Not all of them were lit. Some had burned down to the bottom and had gone out. There was candle wax on the floors, some of it fresh, some of it was hardened and looked like it had been set for some time.

This... wasn't right.

I gripped Kai's hand even harder and he noticed it.

"What's wrong, Soobin?" he whispered next to me and I slowly started to back up into the doorway.

"We need to leave, Kai. Something isn-"

It must have taken me only a second, but it felt like an entire lifetime as I looked down to my right. My hand that clutched Kai's so firmly was suddenly... empty. I felt my surroundings abruptly warped, like an abstract painting as I spun around to my right.

" ** _KAI?!_** _"_

He wasn't next to me anymore. I was about to scream his name until it hit me, a sharp, deep pain entered the back of my neck. I couldn't speak. I could do nothing as I felt the nerves and tendons in my limbs go weak. I was falling. The candlelight's merged and blurred to become one large, obscure blaze of orange in between my lashes as my eyes closed.


	19. Chapter XVIII

I could feel no weight to my body, but it tingled lightly through the numbness. I could see nothing. Was I... dead? Had I finally reached the fiery pits of the afterlife that I always knew I was destined for? I thought it would be worse than this, or was it only just beginning? My thoughts were in disarray, floating around me in no given direction. I didn't even know if I was standing or lying down. If I even still had a body that thoughts could reside within at all.

And then I saw it, in the dark abyss that surrounded me. A small light. It danced around me like a tiny, white feather in the breeze. It was.. Trying to speak to me. Its voice was distant, but so familiar. What did it want? I tried to reply, but I had no voice to speak. Its cries at me were slowly becoming more defined, it almost sounded as if it was calling my name.

_"Soobin?"_

My physical form, whatever manner of state it was in, became slowly more present to me. I could now feel the nerves at the ends of my fingertips.

_"Soobin, please wake up."_

I could now make out the faintest traces of blood in the air around me. It, too, was familiar to me.

_"SOOBIN!"_

Kai.

It was him. I could recognize the desperation in his voice. Where was he?

"Kai.." I breathed out, but I could barely hear it myself.

_"Soobin, please.._ **_save me_ ** _."_

His words ignited the flesh upon my bones, I could feel my muscles tense and my body ache. It was cold, I could sense the chilly earth beneath me now with the scent of the grass and leaves. My vision slowly returned in a blurred mess of black and white. I groaned at the dull ache at the back of my neck, like a deep bruise that was still tender. My head was on its side and I could gradually begin to make out a figure not too far from me. His outline, the facial features that I knew all too well belonged to Kai. He was on his knees, his arms seemed to be drawn behind his back.

"Kai.." I tried to call out to him again, but my voice was still struggling.

"Soobin!" he cried but I heard his body take a blow from something and he winced in pain.

I saw a pair of legs now stand directly in front of my view of him.

"Oh, good. Took you long enough to wake up. I was getting so _impatient_."

A voice spoke to me and I felt a sudden weight drop onto my chest. The individual had moved to straddle my torso and it was the final kick my body needed to fully come back to its senses. I stared up at the person and was met with two, deep pools of black staring down into me. The same intimidation I had felt the night I rescued Kai now reared its head at me once more. Like a distant, recurring nightmare come true.

"You.." I groaned out raspily, recognizing the familiar sharpened features on his face. The black hair that still sat perfectly upon his head. The demanding, entitled nature in which he spoke.

"Hold him down firmly now, Beomgyu. We can't have him.. Interfering."

I heard another voice from near Kai's position to my left and I saw a burst of red appear from behind a tree. The vermilion eyes locked onto me in a manner that stunned me like an animal in the headlights of a vehicle. I could not look away.

I felt my arms suddenly pinned to the ground beneath me at my sides, I almost screamed out from the crushing pain. I looked down to see Beomgyu had his legs engulfing my upper body between them. I couldn't move. Not a single inch. Why were his thighs so overwhelmingly strong? I struggled beneath him, trying to use my legs to project me off the ground, but my upper body remained pinned like the nail in a coffin.

"Soobin.." I heard Kai wheeze out again through his discomfort.

The dark haired vampire above me laughed at my attempts to free myself, a patronizing, breathlessness in his tone.

"Oh no, little rabbit..." he leaned down until he was an inch away from my face.

"You can't fight your way out of this trap."

I felt my situation escalate, I turned back to see Taehyun now circling around to behind Kai and I felt my entire nervous system scream beneath my cold skin in desperation.

" **KAI!** " I yelled at him and he looked up at me.

I saw a deep gash, bleeding upon his left cheekbone and little dotted bruises around his neck from where they had obviously grabbed him. Taehyun now crouched down behind Kai, his head peeking at me over his shoulder.

"T'was very bold of you, Soobin, to steal away one of our precious audience members that night."

I could feel my teeth clench in my mouth with Taehyun's words, every muscle in my body was now shaking in fear and desperation.

"Very bold indeed" Beomgyu continued.

"I chose him, specifically, and you absconded with him, like a filthy little thief."

He sank his head lower to mine, his forehead now against my own.

"I _hate_ other people touching _my_ things" the dark haired immortal spat at me in all his obnoxious ambiance.

"We've brought you here tonight, to teach you a little lesson in manners.." Taehyun continued on and I whipped my head back to him, still behind Kai.

" _You_ will experience what it's like to have something taken away, too."

"Kai... Kai... no, please..." I felt the tears well up in my eyes as my whole body and heart ached with a deep pain.

I stared at Kai desperately, I could tell he was scared but it broke my heart into ten thousand pieces that he seemed accepting of his situation. That he.. Almost _knew_ he was going to die. And there wasn't anything either of us could do to stop it. Beomgyu had damaged the muscle tissues in my arms, I was even weaker than I was before. I couldn't stop them..

"Yeonjun.." I whispered, like a last desperate call for help and I saw Taehyun's eyebrows arch.

"Yeonjun? Oh, no, Soobin.." and he gently laughed behind Kai.

"He's dead."

My lower lip quivered, my fears confirmed with Taehyun's words.

"You see, it's not hard to do the arithmetic. There are _only_ four of us in this city. I knew you would come crawling to Yeonjun for guidance in trying to keep a _human_ alive. And you, in all your naivety, took the bait. Such a pity, for you, that we got to him first."

"It was so beautiful," Beomgyu chimed in.

"Watching his neck rip and _burst_ open like that."

"Oh yes.." Taehyun further added.

"It was definitely one of my finest kills to date. And then we sent him, on his merry little way down a river. He's probably sunken to the bottom of the ocean by now."

My body shook further. I had never felt more deeply alone. Yeonjun was gone, and Kai... now only moments away from...

"But enough chit-chat" Taehyun's tone deepened. His hand grabbed a handful of Kai's hair and yanked his head to the side. Kai groaned at the movement, his eyebrows tightened together and he looked up at me through the pain.

"It's okay, Soobin.." he whispered out to me and the tears I was holding in my eyes now fell of their own free will.

"No..." I whispered back. This couldn't be the last time I would talk to him. I began struggling again, exhausting myself as I fought with the strength of Beomgyu's indomitable thighs.

"I love you, Soobin.. So very much.."

"Don't do this..." I whimpered out, but I didn't know if it was at Taehyun or Kai that I directed it towards. Beomgyu gripped my hair and slammed my head back into the ground, it almost knocked me out again with the force of it. I felt his posture above me move, he was suddenly staring down his counterpart.

"What are you doing, Taehyun?"

The red head just smirked in response to his partner.

"What we planned, Beomgyu."

"But you said _I_ could have him _first_!" the slightly larger vampire was seething with disapproval. His thighs tightened around my arms and I almost felt a few ribs pop in my chest.

Taehyun now hardened his stare at the angry ball of jealousy on top of me.

"If it weren't for me, Beomgyu, we wouldn't have him at all. _I_ did all the work while you sat there and pined over him like a cry-baby."

"BUT I-"

" ** _Silence._** "

Taehyun had ended Beomgyu's pouting rant with a deep growl towards him. The momentary hope I found in their quarreling was once again quashed, as was my mind and soul, as I stared desperately at the love of my existence. My sunshine. My angel. My symphonic entity of light. This couldn't be how it ended. There was nothing for me, without him. I entered the deepest, darkest pits of my mind as I stood upon the cusp of my grim fate.

Thick, heavy tears streamed down my cheeks as I watched, almost in slow motion as Taehyun's mouth descended upon Kai's neck. I made one last final attempt to break free, summoning every last ounce of strength I could muster, but Beomgyu's tense mood just made him even stronger. Then I heard it. The sound is something I will never forget. The piercing of Kai's skin under the sharp teeth of Taehyun was like a ripe tomato being squeezed and bursting in your hand. And Kai's sharp gasp of breath, it cut through me deeper than any pain ever could. My whole body went limp as his did, what was the point of fighting now? I felt every last ounce of happiness that Kai had poured into me slowly drain away with every drop of blood that Taehyun drew from him. I... had never imagined myself ending up with someone like Kai, seeming far too impossible. But this.. Was even furthermore inconceivable. The contrasting impossibilities that had taken place during that week, both now coming full circle in a bloody finale.

  
I could have sworn it was just the heavy swelling of my blood in my ears as my tears fell that caused me to hear a thumping. It was subtle, but it was there. Was it the last beats of Kai's precious, pure heart? My eyes widened as I realized it wasn't my blood, or Kai's. It got closer and it stopped suddenly.

"Looks like you dropped something."

A sharp, flickering noise spun through the air and the expression upon Beomgyu's face suddenly went blank, his thighs loosened around me and he fell forward. I winced as I caught his body before it fell onto me, my stunned mind working hard to figure out what had just happened. I pushed his body off of me and saw a small, sharp tool sticking out of the back of his neck, the same place I felt the dull pain in my own.

I looked around frantically in all directions. Taehyun now withdrew his mouth from Kai's neck, his lips and chin dripping with the crimson fluid as he looked around with me.

"You young things... I'm disgusted. They sure don't make vampires like they used to anymore."

The voice, it sounded strained and deep, but I could recognize it. And then he slowly stepped forward from the shadows, his clothes bloodied and damp. The open wound across his neck bled slowly, dripping down his chest. He lifted a hand up and pushed his moisture-laden hair back out of his sapphire eyes.

"You really thought..."

He took another step forward, he didn't look like himself, but his hips and footsteps did not lie.

".. That you could finish the legendary Yeonjun off so easily?"

I heard Taehyun almost snarl and I looked over to see him drop Kai's body to the side. I scrambled over to him as fast as my weakened body allowed me to, cradling his head in my lap as Taehyun stepped forward away from me.

"You... can't be... I was so precise with my wound upon you.."

"Precision is nothing against pure, unrestrained _willpower_."

Yeonjun growled back at him.

"I wasn't about to just give up then and there and let you two run wild with your uncouth methods of killing. You draw too much attention to us. This is _my_ territory. You are **_nothing_**."

I felt Kai's warm blood slowly seeping out from the side of his neck onto my thigh. My eyes widened as I could hear the faintest small, shallow breaths from him and I reached inside my coat hurriedly. I pulled my handkerchief out and quickly wrapped it around his neck in an attempt to hold the bleeding.

"Soo... bin.." Kai breathed out to me and I worked on undoing the ropes that held his hands together behind his back.

"Don't speak, my love. Save your breath."

"Get him out of here, Soobin" Yeonjun spoke to me, I turned to him, his gaze fixated upon Taehyun.

"Take him to my house. It isn't far from here. Head south."

I frantically looked back and forth between the two of them and Kai who struggled to breathe in front of me. I slowly started to scoop his fragile body up. I stood up with a grunt, I was still weakened from Beomgyu but I fought through it.

"Yeonjun.."

"Don't worry about me, Soobin. Go."

Yeonjun slowly started to walk around in a small semi circle in the woods we were in, eyeing Taehyun up and down before he poised himself, like the small moment of heightened sense a fox has before it pounces.

"Let's _dance_ , little squirrel."

I moved as fast as my legs would carry me, cradling Kai's body to me close. I heard the fight between Yeonjun and Taehyun break out behind me, the snapping of tree branches and crushing of dead leaves into the earth echoed around me.

"Hold on, Kai.." I whispered as his head lay back over my weary arm.

I ran, faster than perhaps I ever had. Trickles of hope started to fill me again. Taehyun hadn't finished Kai off. Yeonjun... he came just in time. I started crying again, but in deep gratitude rather than the surreal pain I had just endured.

I began to see a straight line of trees in front of me and I knew I had reached Yeonjun's backyard. I pushed through the tightly knitted branches, bringing Kai's head up to my chest to shelter him from further harm.

"Almost there, Kai.."

I barged my way in through the backdoor, pushing it off its hinges entirely with my shoulder. I raced into the living area and lay Kai's body upon one of the leather couches. I hovered over him and gently tilted his head to check his wound. My handkerchief was barely recognizable amongst the blood that now covered most of his upper body. I pressed it down and more blood just oozed forward onto my fingers. There was no stopping it.

I braced Kai's head up onto the arm of the couch and gently swept his hair away from his forehead, leaning down to kiss it, my tears that still fell dripping onto his face.

"Soobin.." he struggled at me.

"Kai.. it's alright.. You're going to be alright.." I didn't know if what I was saying was true or not. I was trying to convince myself more than him at that moment.

"Soobin.." he said again and he reached down to grab one of my hands, still sticky with his blood.

"Do it, Soobin.."

I looked openly at him. I knew what he was asking of me. Had he really decided?

"Kai... are you sure? Is this really what you want?"

"I... want to be with you. Always." He coughed blood up after he spoke, slowly dripping down his chin.

I stared at him and knew I had to act quickly. He was fading. Fast. He was already in so much pain, but I knew I had to inflict more upon him. I gently tilted his head to the opposite side and saw his strained breaths produce the vein I needed. I didn't need to tell him that it would hurt, but I apologized for it, regardless.

"I'm sorry, Kai."

I opened my mouth across his skin and slowly sunk my teeth into his flesh. Heavens and all its angels, he was so _sweet_. Sweeter than anything that had graced my tongue before. I drew from him slowly, trying not to take too much from him. I didn't know how much more he had left to give. The venom from my gums slowly seeped into his veins and it took all my willpower to pull back from him. His taste was addicting, I almost couldn't stop myself.

I stripped my coat off myself and ripped the cuff of my shirt open, I bit down into my wrist and opened a wound in myself big enough for blood to flow freely. I cupped the side of Kai's face and gently pushed his chin down to open his mouth further. I squeezed my forearm as hard as I could, wincing through the pain from my injuries as my deep, dark blood slowly dripped into Kai's mouth, watching it slide down his tongue to the back of his throat. I stopped after a moment and sat down next to him as I watched. He frowned as his eyes closed. Something was starting to happen but then he suddenly went completely limp.

I looked over his face carefully. I hadn't done this before. I didn't know how long it took for the effects of my blood to take hold of him. Minutes went by and I was beginning to worry. Something didn't seem right. Had I done something wrong? Had I taken too much blood from him? Did I not give him enough of mine? Was it.. Too late to save him?

I heard footsteps approach me from behind and I spun around to see a badly injured Yeonjun leaning against the doorway.

"Yeonjun.. Something isn't right. I tried turning him but it isn't working."

"It won't."

My jaw fell as I stood there, barely able to believe what Yeonjun had just uttered at me.

"... What?"

"His body is fighting both Taehyun's venom _and_ yours. The blood you gave him isn't enough to overcome it."

I fell to my knees against the marble floor beneath me. Yet again, my forced inexperience with what I was had let me down.

"There is... only one way to fix this."

I looked up at Yeonjun, desperate.

"What is it?!"

Yeonjun now limped closer to both myself and Kai.

"Kai must also take in the blood of _your_ maker, Soobin."

My head spun out of control. I was murdered on the street. Left to die until some stranger decided to give me this existence. Forced upon me by an unknown immortal.

"But I... I've never known who my maker was, Yeonjun...."

"Oh, Soobin..." he brought his wrist up to his mouth and bit down into it, blood dripping down his forearm.

"How have you ever _not_ known?"


	20. Chapter XIX

I felt my vision become blurred with Yeonjun's words, he continued to limp past me to Kai on the couch and all I could do was recall the night of my turning. My head slowly bowed, my thoughts overwhelming me to the point of not being able to move.

".. You..." I got out, but I could not muster another word.

"Soobin, get up. You need to hold his head for me."

I looked behind me at Kai's lifeless body and Yeonjun as he wrapped his bloodied hand around his forearm in preparation. I forced my body up, my instincts to save Kai being greater than my ability to overthink. I stood behind Kai and tilted his head back, gripping his blood sodden chin to open his mouth once more. The blond squeezed his forearm and his blood began trickling down into Kai's mouth. He gave it to him in abundance, almost more than I had given my own. He slowly stopped, holding his forearm up and to himself as he backed away, collapsing onto the end of the couch Kai was laid upon.

I hovered over Kai once more, watching him closely for any signs of change, and I began to worry again when I noticed no change.

"I have only seen this done once, Soobin. He has a long fight ahead of him to process and break down the combinations of venom and blood inside him. His body is in limbo right now; between life and death. It will take some time."

I instinctively reached down to pick up my coat, lying it across Kai's body as a blanket. I didn't know if what I was doing was redundant or not, but it seemed like an automatic response. He was still human to me. I eventually peeled my eyes off of him to look at Yeonjun. His body lounged across the end of the couch, random limbs and fingers twitching from the slow healing process his immortal body was undergoing.

"Are you going to be alright?" I inquired reluctantly, not being the real question I wanted an answer to.

"I've been through worse.." he dismissed my concern casually.

"Taehyun was certainly quick on his feet, I'll give him that. Took me an eternity to eventually pin him down. It was like trying to grab thin air with your hands."

I turned back to Kai and cautiously raised his upper body to sit myself under it, lying his lifeless head upon my lap. I caressed his blood and sweat stained hair as I gazed thoughtfully down at him. I could now pick up the scent of smoke, but it wasn't coming from the candles that still flickered around us.

"What did you do with them?"

"I burned them."

I felt relief briefly wash over me.

"I keep a can of gasoline and a lighter buried in those woods, on the small off chance I need to dispose of any threats.. More permanently. They are particles of ash in the wind right now."

I continued gazing down at the almost colourless complexion of Kai. He had lost so much blood. A deep, heavy silence filled the room as my mind kept circling the confession Yeonjun had not long given me. My entire being was so overcome from the events of the night, it seemed almost impossible to process anything else. I felt my mind growing progressively further numbed to each thought that tried to appear. We must have sat there in quietude for close to an hour. I finally opened my mouth to speak, but the words just seemed to evaporate as soon as my tongue touched the roof of my mouth. Yeonjun noticed it and ended the silence with his own words instead.

".. I'm sorry, Soobin."

I slowly looked over at him, his stare was hard but also saddened as he looked upon the angelic marble statue that stood before us once more; a wallflower to our conversation. I didn't know what to feel, there were so many emotions, some of which I hadn't felt before, all mixing into one large confused disorder in my head.

"I'm sorry I brought you into this world."

I still didn't know how to respond. I.. had once, very briefly, suspected that Yeonjun was the one who turned me, but his previous, often distant nature towards me made me change my mind. It was such a long, long time ago. There was only one question that I could ask at that moment.

".. Why did you?"

I heard him breathe a laugh out through his nostrils as his mouth remained shut. He blinked multiple times as he tried to gather his courage to continue.

"You were being hunted that night."

"By.. another vampire?"

"Yes."

So many more questions entered my mind. I didn't know which one to ask first.

"Why did... how did you.." I wasn't making any sense until Yeonjun interrupted my stumbling words with his own.

"I got to you before she could. I know that filthy, wretched woman just wanted to drink from you and leave you to die."

"... And you... didn't?"

His head bowed deep now, the corner of his mouth flicked up in the smirkish-smile he often expressed. But there was no smile in his eyes.

"I had been following you for a few years at that point. Do you recall your coming of age birthday party your parents held for you? When you turned 18?"

The memory, it was so vastly distant to me. But I did remember.

"Somewhat.."

"I was there that night. Not by invitation. But you know what I'm like."

Yes, I did. Yeonjun, the social butterfly with the silver tongue who could talk you into purchasing ice even though you lived in the Arctic circle.

"I was just there to hunt out some 'dinner' for the evening. But I saw you there, seated in your corner by yourself. Your mother trying to pull you towards every young girl in sight, with the hopes you could find yourself an eventual marriage proposal to pursue."

I smiled briefly as I began to recall the memory of the evening more clearly now.

"You... caught my eye. But not in the manner you would think."

I turned to him. Why did this scenario suddenly seem so familiar?

"I followed you, protected you... much like you have with Kai."

I looked down at him in my lap and slowly lifted my gaze back to Yeonjun at my side, feeling the missing pieces of the puzzle that he was starting to take shape.

"I was..." Yeonjun trailed off, uncharacteristically. He now smiled and shook his head, taking in a deep, long breath out of human habit; the illusion of trying to calm himself.

"... I was so madly in love with you, Soobin."

You could hear a pin drop with the heavy stillness in the room. I slowly began to recall his speech of love and all its wonders. They were.. About me. For two hundred years, he had held onto this deep secret.

"We used to be more alike, you and I. Especially during that time. I thought too much. Always about you. Forever worried that you would fear who I was.. What I am. I wasted those two years. Not even having enough courage to introduce myself. Not like you did with Kai."

I felt a deep, uncontrollable guilt take hold of me. For something that I wasn't even to blame for.

"And then a small group of new vampires entered town. I knew it wouldn't take them long to notice you, and notice you, they did. I was at a loss. I couldn't just let you die. They.. forced my hand."

"You... turned me because.."

"Because I still had _hope_ , Soobin."

His voice was unrecognizable through the sudden tears that he was shedding. I almost wanted to get up and comfort him, but I didn't know if he would accept it or not. I didn't know if it would make it worse.

"I held onto the hope that.. You _could_ know me. That you _could_ love me, in return."

"Yeonjun..." I felt my throat tighten, my own waterlogged eyes beginning to shine with tears in the candlelight.

I could only imagine the torture he must have gone through, knowing what I was like back then. What I was still like; eternally oblivious. He hung his head back over the couch and blinked away the tears furiously as he stared up at the high, dome shaped ceiling above us.

"So I played the part of a shy, strange immortal. Trying to get to know you better. Trying to guide you. Trying to open up that god forsaken _thick_ headof yours."

I couldn't berate him for the insult. He always had his own way of describing me in a better way than I ever could.

"I tried to get you to hunt with me, but you never did. You stuck to your deer, your sheep, your pigs.."

I recalled the memories, the deeply lonely early days of my immortal life. How much pain and frustration I must have caused him..

"It then got to a point where you would yell at me, cursing me for the way I embraced the night. I let my instincts blindly outweigh my feelings for you. I was.. Too addicted to the thrill. Too addicted to change to become something that would be even mildly acceptable in your eyes."

He bowed his head back down, whispering his next words.

"Too close to hell to be inside your heaven."

There was silence between us yet again, but it radiated with a deeper, sorrowful understanding now; a mournfulness to the loss of something that never even occurred.

"So I distanced myself. I _further_ embraced the night and everything it could offer me. Trying to fill myself with it to compensate. But.. none of it was ever enough. Not only did I realize we were too vastly different people, but that I had also made a mistake in turning you. I could see you hated this existence; the night that I had forced upon you. I took your choices away that night, Soobin. It hurt me deeper than any form of rejection you could have ever given me."

As much as there was still a deep guilt inside of me, I... couldn't help but agree with him. Back then, I didn't want any of the devilish tendencies of what I was. I still wanted to be human. A human that had the choice of death.

"Eventually... I came back to you, about one hundred years ago. I had had enough of my suffering, and yours. I kept trying to bring you out with me. So that you could find someone like I had found you.."

I looked down at Kai and felt the tears I still had in my eyes start to drip down onto his pale face.

"I... _needed_ you to find someone. So that you could be happy. And I.. could finally move on."

"Yeonjun.. I..."

"And then, that night at The Black Swan, I saw the way you looked at Kai. You saw him in the same light that I had once hoped you would look at me with."

"... Why couldn't you have told me this sooner, Yeonjun? Why did you have to prolong your suffering?"

"Soobin.."

I looked back across to him, I had never seen a deeper understanding upon him.

"Would it have made any difference?"

I opened my mouth to reply but no words came. No... It wouldn't have changed anything. I did not return the feelings he had once harboured. Yeonjun nodded at me in my silence, but he wasn't surprised. He _had_ truly known that I held no romantic notions for him.

"Even though it was one-sided, Soobin, you taught me a great deal about love. It took me over one hundred years to see it."

"What could I have possibly taught you?"

"That _their_ happiness.. Is of far greater importance than your own."

I looked back down at Kai again and I could not find a single word to argue Yeonjun's point.

"I... I've never thanked you, Yeonjun."

"I've never given you much reason to" he finally smirked at me.

"No, I mean.. regarding Kai. You were.. Always there. Helping me. You told me to pursue him. You were there when I thought I had lost him. And you were here, tonight. You _saved_ him in more ways than I ever could have."

"You did that, yourself, Soobin. I only gavethe advice. _You_ were the one to take it."

As much as I wanted to argue with the guilt I still felt, it seemed wiser to not.

"Thank you, Yeonjun. For everything. Even for.. turning me that night. You may have taken some choices away from me, but you gave me the choice to have even met Kai."

Yeonjun turned away from me and smiled at the stationery angel in front of us.

"It only took two hundred years."

He started laughing and I felt myself slowly lighten with the sound, eventually chuckling alongside him.

"What a deeply mad world it is.."

Yeonjun's words resonated within me and I gently stroked the side of Kai's face.

"How much longer will it take for him to turn?"

"When I said it would take time, I didn't mean hours. It may take a few nights, yet. The process his body is going through is a slow one, but trust me, he will rise when he's ready."

Yeonjun slowly started to push himself off the couch, groaning as I heard his muscles and bones protest the movement.

"You need more rest."

"That's exactly what I'm doing" he said as he started to limp towards the doorway.

"I'm heading upstairs. Call out if you need anything."

"Alright... Goodnight, Yeonjun. And thank you, again."

He turned to grin at me over his shoulder before he exited.

"Don't mention it, baby."

I smiled softly at my nickname and waited until I heard his footsteps reach the upper level. I looked down at Kai once more and carefully moved out from underneath him, lying his head back against the couch with the utmost caution. I knelt down on the floor, running my fingers along the side of his jaw until they came around to his lips.

"I can't wait to finally kiss you again, Kai" I whispered next to his ear.

He was still motionless but I could have sworn I saw the faintest of smiles upon his face with my words. It had me wondering if he was able to have heard the entire conversation between Yeonjun and I. Perhaps it was fortunate that he had. The less secrets between us that we had, the better. I laid my head down upon his chest, his heartbeat was still present, but it was slow. It gave me comfort to know that he was still, somewhat, alive.

I spent the rest of the coming night next to him, enjoying the warmth that his body still gave off. For I knew I would soon be without it. I began to wonder just how much more beautiful he would be when he would finally awaken into the same world as I.

How could perfection, itself, become even more exquisite still?


	21. Chapter XX

I had not moved from my spot upon the marble floor next to Kai's horizontal position upon the couch. I kept staring at him for long moments of time, contemplating the decision he had made. I started to feel small inklings of guilt and doubt creep their way up the back of my spine. Had he.. Really chosen this existence because he wanted it? With his whole heart? I thought back to only three nights ago when I had abruptly confessed my identity to him. Could someone truly make such an informed decision as this in such a short amount of time? As much as I was doing my best to be patient with the process his body was going through, I almost couldn't wait one moment longer for him to awaken; to confirm that my fears and doubts were just the demons of my overworked mind. Would he hate it? Would he be different? Would he.. Still love me? The countless possible consequences of our actions hung in the air like ghosts; perpetually unsure if they were real or not.

I soon started to hear noises from upstairs, signaling Yeonjun was up and moving again. I lifted myself off the ground and looked down upon Kai's still immobile body. I peeled my coat off of him and felt guilty that I had let him lie there all that time while he was still covered in his own blood. I left him momentarily as I sourced some towels and soaked them in hot water before returning to his side. I carefully started to undress his upper half, his previously light blue shirt was now unrecognizable in its original colour from the deep red stains upon it. I patted the towels at him and cleaned his skin as best I could. I carefully lifted my now obsolete handkerchief away from his neck, the wounds in his skin were still somewhat open, but they no longer bled freely. I began to wonder if perhaps his heart had finally stopped. I edged closer down to him, only an inch away from his chest to check his pulse before my actions were interrupted.

"You could at least wait until he's awake to do that, Soobin."

I whipped my head around and saw a now mostly healed Yeonjun leaning against the doorway with a playful smirk upon his lips.

"I.. I wasn't doing anything.."

"Uh huh" his smirk remained and I gave up arguing his teasing words.

The blond sauntered over to stand beside me and looked over Kai's body as I tended to the blood around his neck.

"I never asked you. How did your confession with him turn out?"

I looked down at the blood soaked towel in my hands and dropped it to my feet with the others. Even though that event had only taken place three nights prior, it felt like much longer. I decided not to go into too much detail. I didn't want to tell Yeonjun I had come a hair's breadth away from sinking my teeth into Kai's neck that night during our moment of weakness.

"Well enough... he already had suspicions that our kind existed."

"How so?" Yeonjun moved to sit upon the arm at the opposite end of the couch.

"His.. past lover was killed by one."

I saw Yeonjun's expression drop out of the corner of my eye and I found myself hurrying to get my next words out.

"It wasn't you, Yeonjun. She was found in a river."

I saw his brief relief before he asked me a further question.

"And did.. any _other_ confessions take place?" he looked at me knowingly, an eyebrow peaked in curiosity.

I suddenly found myself a bit awkward with wanting to talk about it. Our previous night's discussions made me feel slightly guilty for wanting to talk about a love interest that _wasn't_ Yeonjun.

"It's alright, Soobin, you can tell me. Last night's conversation is just blood down a stream now."

I hesitated but did my best in trusting his words.

"I.. told him I loved him."

".. And?"

"And.. he said he returned the feelings."

I saw Yeonjun lean across his thighs with his elbows as he stared up at me, his eyebrows perched so high in interest, they could have touched the roof.

"... _And?_ " he pressed me further.

I felt a blush cover my cheeks as I pursed my lips together, struggling to get a reply out for him. But my reaction to his query alone had accomplished it for me.

"Oh, Soobin, you _didn't_.." Yeonjun now looked back and forth between Kai and myself in almost excited disbelief.

"How did he even survive that?!"

"I... I wasn't the one tha-"

No. I wasn't going to elaborate. Yeonjun had already asked too much. But it seemed even if I didn't give an answer, the other immortal could work things out for himself.

"... _Oh_." He stared down at Kai and I saw the pieces in his head fit together like a lock and key.

"Well.. Kai is certainly the confident one, isn't he? Not only was he not afraid of what you are, he wasn't afraid to fu-"

"YEONJUN, _please_!"

I was pushed to my limits of moral decency and my cheek's ability to not burn any brighter than they were. Yeonjun, of course, just laughed at me.

"Settle down now, Soobin. Take a joke every now and then. It won't hurt you."

I tugged down at the edges of my shirt, trying to straighten both it and my thoughts out. Yeonjun let some silence hang in the air briefly before he filled it with yet another question.

"Does Kai.. know what he's in for? With being turned?"

I gazed down at him and slowly began to nod, but I wasn't fully convinced.

"I informed him of all the common traits we possess, but.. I worry that wasn't comprehensive enough."

I saw Yeonjun nod out of the corner of my eye in thought.

"Are you concerned he might regret his choice?"

".. Yes."

"Hmm.. a fair enough thought, Soobin. You know.. Even though I've never fathered any children, I almost tend to compare turning someone to parenthood."

"Parenthood?"

"Well.. you can assume you'll be ready for it when the time comes, but you can never _truly_ be prepared for what happens. Or the kind of vampire they'll be. No one is ever really the same after being turned, after all."

The truth that rang in Yeonjun's words didn't do wonders for the already existent worries I had.

"I think it's best not to sit on that thought too much, Soobin. Is Kai turning still a better choice than the alternative that almost happened last night?"

"I.. hope so.. The past few hours I can't help but think about everything he now has to sacrifice that he doesn't realize yet."

"But at least he's not entering this world alone. He has you, Soobin. The most human vampire I've ever known."

"Is that a good thing?"

I saw Yeonjun think about it for a moment before grinning at me.

"Undecided."

I couldn't help but almost return the smile. Yeonjun slowly stood up from the couch and started heading back out the doorway.

"It's sundown. I really should be on my way to finding some refreshments for myself. I haven't fed since before Taehyun and Beomgyu found me and I'm starting to want to bite my own arm off."

That was another thing I hadn't considered yet. I didn't have any blood for myself _or_ Kai if he awoke.

"Yeonjun.. Would you mind... acquiring something for me while you're gone? And for Kai too, if he awakens soon."

"Of course... do you prefer blondes or brunettes?"

I tried ever so hard not to scowl at him and failed.

"Heh.. I will see if I can find some rabbits. Something tells me you won't appreciate me dragging a deer through the hallway."

"I appreciate it, Yeonjun."

"I'll try not to be gone too long. I will feed and return home. I'm still not one hundred percent, yet."

I nodded and watched him take his leave. I returned my gaze to all the bloodied towels lying at my feet, I bent down and picked them up, thinking I should probably wash them. I eyed up Kai for a moment before I moved, I didn't want to leave his side if I could help it, but I figured doing something other than worrying wouldn't hurt me.

I made my way upstairs to the bathroom, Yeonjun had a large tub positioned in the middle of the room. Carved ivory fittings with gold details. Spotless and grand. Just like everything else in his house. I turned the taps and waited for the water to rise in temperature. The sound of the gushing water was loud in my ears but also soothing. It seemed to slowly drown out my thoughts, one by one becoming submerged and swept around in pirouetting circles with every liter of water that filled the ceramic cavity.

I dropped the towels into the hot liquid, swirls of blood painting the water red. I knew I wouldn't be able to get the stains out with just water alone, but it was all I had available to me at the time. I grasped them with my hands, squeezing the crimson out as much as possible. The steam that rose through the particles of blood gave life to it once more, and the room was soon filled with the scent of Kai's essence. I bathed in the sweet perfume of it, letting it consume my senses. Of course, it made me thirsty, but Kai was barely a threat to that form of insanity anymore; his current physiological condition of being between two worlds of existence took all forms of my blood lust for him away.

I had done as much as I could for the time being, and I let the towels soak in the water. Yeonjun did have his own contacts for cleaning up blood, to which I'm sure he would contact to assist. I lifted myself up and stared into a large mirror displayed above the vanity. I slowly walked over to it and brushed the edge of my hand against the condensation to reveal my reflection. I almost gasped out loud at what I saw. I had never once seen myself appear so.. undone. Kai's dried blood sat around my mouth, chin and halfway down my neck. Though my body did not tire, I _looked_ exhausted. My dark eyes, even blacker still with the sights and sounds that I had undergone. My hair sat in no given direction upon my weary head. I filled the basin in front of me and splashed the warm water upon my cold skin, scrubbing the particles of my actions off myself. I let the water drip down to my shirt and noticed small blood stains upon it too, but not enough for me to warrant taking it off. My thoughts diverted to Kai and the manner I had left his body downstairs. I turned my head to the bathroom door and wondered if Yeonjun had a shirt of some kind I could dress Kai in.

I exited the bathroom and wandered down the hallway to Yeonjun's walk-in wardrobe next to his bedroom. I pushed the door open and was greeted with flashes of colour of all spectrum. Reds, blues, yellows, greens and every combination in between; a rainbow of satin, silk, leather, cotton, velvet, linen, wool and denim. Some of it shimmered, some of it dazzled, some of it had no reflection to it whatsoever. Nothing looked similar to its neighbour. I started looking through the hundreds of shirts he had hanging on coat hangers, all of them seeming too extravagant for their purpose of simply covering Kai's upper half. I got to the end of a row and saw a simple black button down silk shirt. Upon pulling it off it's hanger, it did have the faintest amount of glow to it, almost, like the smallest drop of moonlight upon a lake's surface. I momentarily worried that it would be too small for Kai across his shoulders and chest. He was slightly broader than Yeonjun. I decided it didn't matter and ended my search as I hung the garment over my forearm and left the room.

I made my way down the twisting, turning wooden and metal staircase. I got to the bottom and saw straight ahead the backdoor that still lay in the doorway from where I had knocked it down with Kai in my arms. I started approaching it, pondering that I should perhaps pick it up rather than let it lie there. I walked across the doorway of the living area that Kai was still in, but I could _sense_ something out of place. The silhouette of the angel statue out of the corner of my eye shone brighter than usual, it's shape and the shadow it cast upon the marble floor were bigger. I stopped walking and slowly took a few steps backwards to see if my mind was playing tricks on me. I felt my jaw slowly fall open as the silk shirt in my hands slipped and fell to the floor with a quiet whisper of a rustle.

I _wanted_ the capability of breathing. I needed the air in my lungs present just to be pushed back out with what I saw before me. Simply staring in disbelief wasn't enough. The blood in my veins thickened instead of rushed, making a deafening sound in my ears. My skin was as cold as a glacier floating upon the sea in the dead of night. I took a step forward towards the shadow that was cast upon the ground in front of me and my eyes followed up to what was creating it.

"... Kai.."

It was barely a whisper, hardly a breath of recognizable noise that left my lips, but he heard it. He turned slowly to face me and I felt my knees give out beneath me, hitting the marble floor with an almighty crash to my kneecaps and my entire spiritual form as I knew it. The bare skin of his torso reflected into my irises with the luminescence only found in the clearest of diamonds from the deepest pits of the earth. His hair, perfectly sat around his upper face with every softness and curve imaginable, like a wavy crown upon his head; reflecting hints of auburn that burned like the heart of a lion. My hands came up to my mouth to cover an uncontrollable gasp as I saw his eyes. Deeper than the innermost core of Jupiter itself, but now stared at me in shades of lavender and lilac, an entire field of summer flora gazed at me in all their blooming plenty. His features were darker, more defined, more.. sculpted. He was clearer than the statue that stood behind him. It was like comparing an old film to something captured with a lens of immense progression in technology. Like putting your first pair of spectacles on to see the landscape from your weary, blinded excuses for eyes for the first time; stunned into silence from the sharp angles of rock and ice formations. He was what painters could only _dream_ of finding as a muse for he, himself was art, in its purest form. God's one and only handmade creation. An angel of dark circumstance, fallen and resurrected to become even more bewitching still. He was impossible. Infeasible. _Ethereal_.

I finally dropped my hands from my mouth, although I continued to gaze and experience a simultaneous abundance of thoughts and oblivion. Every incredulous thought was immediately replaced with another and then dead, empty space appeared in its place. I was a malfunctioning heap of flesh and bone upon my knees. He took a single step forward towards me and the sound was enough to bring me back into the firm clutches of reality. I stood up as fast as my feet would allow me.

"Kai.. are you-"

He was suddenly in front of me, the breeze from his movement took two whole seconds to reach me after he already had. He was... so fast. He stood before me, almost _over_ me with his presence. I felt small in comparison. Looking into his eyes from such a short distance was nothing short of surreal. I felt like I was being stared down by a wild animal that I had only seen photographs of in books; the real thing being much more intimidating than the images that failed to do them justice. I felt like a thin piece of parchment paper as his hand suddenly came up to grasp my shirt in his hand. He moved me so easily with his newfound strength.

"Soobin.." he spoke to me, his voice was deeper, chill inducing, but.. strangely desperate.

".. I'm.." he couldn't produce any further coherent words and groaned in what I could have sworn was pain.

His fist gripped my shirt tighter, the intricate weave of fabric ripping in his hand with ease. He slowly sank to his knees in front of me, ripping my shirt wide open from the force. I tried to reach a hand out to the side of his face to tilt it upwards, but he batted it away and glared a seething disdain up at me like a mistreated animal.

I slowly backed away from him, becoming enveloped in the seemingly never ending cycle of self-hatred that I resided within. My mind started collapsing in on itself like the roof of a cave. What had I done to the sweet angel who brought spring into my house? Was my sunshine now eclipsed by a brighter, more fearsome moon that I brought upon him?

"... Kai... What have I done to you?"


	22. Chapter XXI

I must have stood there for a long time. Far too long. The look Kai had given me muted my senses like an electrical shock; almost too afraid to touch him again with the possibility it would anger him. I began sifting through my mind, pushing past all the terrible thoughts that threatened to consume me, trying to latch onto something that made any _sense_. I thought back, digging back through the long years to the night of my turning. I recalled.. Feeling uneasy. I didn't know what to do with myself. I barely knew what I was. I was scared. Terrified. An anger took me then that I did not recognize. An unknown, terrible _need_ for something that I couldn't place. Of course. Why had I overlooked it? I was too caught up with the belief that Kai was still human.

I slowly stepped forward to him again, kneeling down before him cautiously. His hands opened and gripped themselves into fists continuously with what his mind and body was going through.

"Kai... you're thirsty, aren't you?"

His head shot up at me, his teeth were clenched tightly, the glare he gave me.. I saw it now. He wasn't angry at me. He was in pain. The pain of starvation. His new body was empty and it was fighting against him with the urge of needing to be fulfilled; the insanity of hunger.

"Yeonjun.. He should return soon. He will have something for you to fix this, Kai."

I tentatively reached a hand out to the side of his face again. I didn't care if he tore my whole arm off for the gesture, I needed to comfort him. He let me this time. His skin had lost all its beautiful warmth, but in its place, he felt like silk. Smooth like the edge of a stone that had been carved from the multitudes of waves that crashed against it over thousands of years. I wanted to ask him how he felt, but I knew it was redundant. I already knew the answer to that. I knew I could only offer him words, whether he would take them or not, I didn't know.

"It's going to be alright, Kai. I know you're in a lot of pain right now. But just hold on a little longer. You've done so well, my love."

And he had. I had witnessed newborn vampires lose the entirety of themselves upon waking before. Thrown deep into the pits of the night without so much as a kind word to help them back out of it. I wasn't going to let it consume Kai like it had so many others. I had to make sure he held onto his humanity, much like I had tried to.

I looked over to my left at the shirt of Yeonjun's I had dropped, I reached for it and carefully placed it over Kai's shuddering shoulders as his body shook from the other-worldly suffering he was enduring. I pressed my hands into the sides of his arms, he felt like an earthquake beneath my palms. I could almost hear his body shaking, but then I noticed the sound was also coming from behind me. I heard a distant humming, Yeonjun's footsteps coupled with it.

I turned around and saw Yeonjun now standing in the back doorway, a large brown sack slung across his shoulder and.. Kai's phone in his hand.

"... Oh.." Yeonjun stopped in his tracks as he saw Kai knelt down in front of me.

"He awoke much sooner than we anticipated, Yeonjun. Do you have something for him? He needs it. He's in a lot of pain."

Yeonjun now flung the sack at me, it made an almighty thump against the floor. Whatever was inside it was still moving in parts while others were still.

"There's about fifty rabbits in there for you. I didn't know how many you wanted, so I grabbed every single one I found."

I opened the bag carefully and grabbed one that seemed to be dead and held it out in front of Kai. He looked down at it in my palms and before I could speak another word he had snatched it from me and sunk his teeth into it all within the space of a second. I heard its tiny bones crunch under the strength of Kai's jaw and its insides explode into his mouth. He drained it entirely and reached for another inside the bag.

I slowly stood up and backed away as I watched him. I had to keep a close eye on how much blood he was consuming. I couldn't let him get past the critical tipping point.

"I found this in the woods, Soobin. Does it belong to Kai?"

I looked down at the familiar red case of the phone and nodded.

"Yes, that's his."

"Well, it's been ringing. There's a dozen missed calls on it."

I took the device off of Yeonjun and looked at the screen. A small red telephone symbol sat there with the number of missed calls and the word "Work" beside it. His boss must have been trying to reach him. I slid the phone into my back pocket for safe keeping as I continued to watch Kai carefully.

"How is he?" Yeonjun whispered next to me.

"I... it's hard to tell. We will have better knowledge once his hunger is taken out of the equation."

Yeonjun nodded and gazed at Kai alongside me. I felt his features soften as he smiled.

"Gosh..."

"Hm?"

"He's beautiful, Soobin. Truly. What a marvelous creation."

I heard another noisome crush of small bones in my ears as Kai inhaled the blood of a third creature.

"I barely knew what to do with myself when I found him awake.."

"I could imagine. Would have been like the gates of both heaven and hell opening at once."

Yeonjun was right. Kai was born of both worlds. A perfectly balanced entity of darkness and light. A being unlike any I had ever laid eyes upon.

".. Is that.. one of my silk shirts on him, Soobin?"

"I hope you don't mind. I didn't know how redundant him wearing a shirt would be, but.. I felt bad leaving him without one on."

Yeonjun laughed at me quietly.

"It's alright.. I barely wear that one anymore, anyway. He can have it."

One of the live rabbits escaped from the bag, but Kai's fast hand grasped it by the scruff of its neck. It's small, white body wriggled around in his hold. He brought it up to his face in thought as he looked upon it. I felt like I was looking at my old self, new to the world and the contemplation of life or death being the only thing that used to consume my thoughts.

I saw Kai's gaze upon the critter slowly soften and he placed it upon the ground in front of him. It scampered away to the backdoor between Yeonjun and I, escaping to the outside. I.. could have cried. Yeonjun saw the open expression upon my face and smiled at me, placing a hand upon my shoulder.

"I don't think you need to worry about Kai losing himself, Soobin."

Kai.. he still had empathy present in him, even in his feverish hunger that almost took him.

I approached him again but stopped as he slowly started to stand up, tiny droplets of blood at the corners of his mouth. He brought a hand up to wipe it away and stared at me.

".. How are you feeling now, Kai?"

"I.." he stopped as he looked around himself, at himself, at Yeonjun and finally at me.

"I've never felt more _alive_."

"Your senses are now at their peak, Kai. _Everything_ is different. Nothing will ever look, smell, taste or feel the same" Yeonjun now informed Kai, and I realized it was the first time he had spoken to him.

"My apologies, Kai.. this is Yeonjun."

"I know" Kai smiled at him at my side.

Kai walked forward to the both of us and held out his hand to Yeonjun.

"Thank you, Yeonjun. I know you've done a lot for the both of us.. I'm.. eternally grateful."

Yeonjun's eyebrows arched up, almost surprised at the gratitude Kai was showing towards him. I, too, was a little shocked at the mannerism. Maybe Kai _had_ overheard the conversation between Yeonjun and I the previous night.

Yeonjun completed the handshake and nodded in respect at Kai.

"Don't mention it, kiddo" Yeonjun grinned and he looked over Kai thoughtfully.

"Hmm.. I hate to steal him away from you so soon, Soobin, but.. Do you mind if I borrow Kai for a while?"

I blinked at him in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"I want to.. finish him off a bit more. A few last minute details, if you will."

Both Kai and myself now looked at him in curiosity.

Yeonjun reached up to grab the shirt that still hung over Kai's shoulders and pulled it off him.

"We can do better than this old thing," he grasped Kai's hand in his own and started leading him upstairs away from me.

"Yeonjun.."

"Don't you worry about a thing, Soobin! You stay down here and have your fill. What do you think I'm going to do with forty rabbits? Breed them?"

I just stood there and watched as Yeonjun led Kai up the staircase, but the newborn didn't seem concerned. He gently smiled at me through the metal bars through the stairs in acceptance.

I stood there awkwardly for a few moments, not sure what to do with myself. I realized my shirt was still ripped open from Kai's grasp upon it. I shed it from myself and put the abandoned black silk shirt that Yeonjun had left behind on. It didn't fit very well across the shoulders, but I managed to almost button it up, save for two buttons that I couldn't convince to close.

I looked down at the bag of rabbits that still wriggled around in spots, picking it up and walking into the living area with it, sitting down upon a nearby couch. I fed on one of the dead creatures but if I was being completely honest, I didn't have much of an appetite at that point. I could now hear movement and voices above me on the upper floor between Yeonjun and Kai. I couldn't help but smile at the noise. I had never felt more exhausted as I did in that moment, my mind was barely capable of another thought. As much as I wanted to spend time with Kai now that he was awake, I almost welcomed the solitude I had at that moment in time. I started thinking back to the first night I had seen Kai and all the events, feelings and thoughts that had occurred in such a short amount of time. I likened it to a chemical reaction in the depths of space. How objects float by each other in the deeply silent abyss of the universe, and the instantaneous reactions and explosions that happen when they finally collide with each other. My planet, my world, crashing into Kai's and how he was eventually consumed by it, and myself by his own, mixing to become this beautiful mess of glowing clouds of stardust. I wondered what kind of world we would build together with the remnants of what remained of our existences, previous and current. Not a sun, not a moon.. Something more. Something of its first kind. A new world.

I must have sat there for an hour, trying my best to rest my mind as much as I could. The laughter and voices upstairs only grew louder and I felt like I was missing out. I slowly stood up and took the bag of rabbits with me to the back door, I opened it across the doorway and saw the still alive animals make their escape across the back lawn. The dead ones, obviously stayed. I made my way up the staircase and approached the noise coming from the inside of Yeonjun's walk-in closet. I knocked on the door. It opened and Yeonjun peeked his head out of it.

"We're still busy here, Soobin!"

"You've been in there for an hour, how long does it take to dress someone?"

He pushed the door closed but continued to speak to me through it.

"Soobin, you don't realize who you're talking to. I was _born_ to dress people. Vampires, especially."

I sighed and took a seat upon the small chair that stood against the edge of the hallway. I began to worry that Yeonjun wasn't just dressing Kai, but _over_ dressing him.

"Hmm.. maybe leave this button undone. And untuck it a bit.. Yes, just like that."

I listened through the door and couldn't help but give a small smile. I hoped Kai didn't mind what Yeonjun was doing. Though I didn't hear any protest.

"Let me fix your hair, come here. Hmmm... maybe just a bit more to the side.. Your hair is so fluffy and _lush_ , I wish my dead strands were."

I smiled further as I heard Kai laugh in response to Yeonjun's fussing. I was grateful they were getting along so well.

"Turn around for me... Okay.. well.. Those pants are a _little_ tight across those thighs of yours, but Soobin won't mind."

I shifted in my seat, crossing my legs across each other and cleared my throat, as if to let Yeonjun know I was still there.

He opened the door again and I saw his two playful blue eyes peering at me from behind the wooden door, he giggled and shot back inside like a mouse. For a vampire who was an entire 200 years older than myself, he certainly seemed like the younger out of the two of us sometimes. But he was in his element at that moment, I didn't want to pry him from it.

A few more moments passed and the door finally opened fully, Yeonjun stepped out backwards. He just stood there, blocking my view of Kai in front of him as he looked over him from a distance, his hand holding his chin in thought.

"Hmm.. Yes. I think we're done. You look perfect, baby."

I grinned at my nickname now being used with Kai. Yeonjun slowly turned to face me, winking at me briefly before stepping aside to let Kai come into view as he stepped into the doorway. My legs fell from their crossed position and felt my spine hunch over in shock as I leaned forward at the specimen that now stood before me. Yeonjun had dressed him in a black and white cotton shirt that faded from one shade to the other in a gradient across his stomach. The first few buttons were undone, the almost glossy looking snowy skin of his chest shone through, but not too provocatively. My eyes dropped to his hips and saw a red leather belt looped into a pair of black, soft leather pants. But again, they weren't misplaced upon him. I looked up to his face and my eye was caught by a small, hooped earring hanging from his right ear, a tiny red rose attached to it to match the red belt at his hips. His hair was mostly the same as when I had found him downstairs, but Yeonjun had pushed it more out of his face. He looked like..

".. Perfection" I said out loud. Both Kai and Yeonjun smiled at my reaction.

"Really? That's not often a word I hear you use to describe my fashion sense" Yeonjun laughed at me.

"There's a first time for everything, Yeonjun" I smiled as I stood up, holding my hand out to Kai. He stepped forward and took it into his own. I felt like the luckiest being upon earth in that moment. I didn't realize I was staring at him for so long until I heard Yeonjun beside us lightly cough.

I turned to see him grinning at the both of us.

"The way you two are looking at each other right now makes me think maybe it's time you should be on your way home, hmm?"

I hadn't even considered our next move and I looked back to Kai.

"What did _you_ want to do, Kai?"

His long eyelashes batted softly as he thought about it before looking back up at me.

"Maybe we should go home. I'd like to walk though, if that's okay."

I briefly wanted to try and persuade him not to be out in the open yet, but.. I trusted him. I trusted myself to stop him if anything happened.

"Of course" I smiled in response.

We made our way downstairs to the front door and Yeonjun stood there with his hands on his hips and looked at me sternly.

"You take care of him, Soobin. Okay? That's my baby you're taking away from me."

"Your baby?"

"Yes. _My_ baby. I helped turn him, he's half mine, at the very least!"

I smiled endearingly at him for perhaps the first time I since I first knew him.

"We'll come back and visit you, Yeonjun. Promise" Kai smiled at him. I felt my heart melt at the offer. What an angel he was.

"You had better!" Yeonjun playfully pouted before he almost pushed us both out the door.

"See you soon, Soobin" he smiled quietly at me and I gently squeezed his upper arm before turning to take our leave.

We started our journey back home, trying our best to stay away from the busier streets and areas of town. Kai wanted to walk through one of the parks to get back to our suburb and I figured it would be a good way of staying away from the population. Not many people ventured into that park at night.

I held his hand in my own as we walked leisurely. He was constantly looking around himself, but not out of worry. I knew he was experiencing the world with his new eyes.

"Tell me what it's like, Kai, to see the old world in a new way."

"I... can't get over how _clear_ everything is, especially in the dark like this. I can smell every blade of grass. I can hear cars almost an entire mile away from us."

He ventured off our path to look at a large pond that sat in the middle of the park, the moonlight gently graced its surface. I stood next to him and looked upon his angelic form in the moon and thought perhaps for all this time I hadn't been turned all those years ago. Maybe I had just entered a nightmare that eventually became this dream. Kai couldn't be real. I looked down at his soft lips and the blush pink colour I was grateful he had kept with turning.

"Taste is also something that's different now, Kai.."

He turned to face me and noticed my gaze upon him, he looked down at my lips briefly before smiling. He took my chin in my hand and edged closer, only a centimetre away from my lips with his own before he grinned and leaned around to press a kiss into my cheek instead.

"I guess I will have to find that out for myself later."

What an absolute tease. I was _almost_ upset at him for it. I eventually grinned back at him and we continued on our way. Now that my mind had been through a roller coaster while hanging upside down, it was now more free to think about thoughts that I had once only briefly pondered.

"Kai... those songs you played that night at The Black Swan. The second time I saw you.."

"What about them?" he smiled.

I almost felt foolish, perhaps a bit too presumptuous for musing my next words.

"Why.. those ones.. in particular?"

"Why do you think I performed them, Soobin?"

I smiled as I looked down at my feet as we continued walking.

"I thought.. perhaps.. you had played them for me.."

"I did."

I looked back to Kai walking at my side, feeling the biggest smile across my face as I blushed in the darkness.

"I think you underestimate just how much of an impact you had on my life, Soobin. Quite literally. I went from a suicidal mess to.. being hopeful about my future that night we spoke outside my house. I was falling in love with you. The beautiful stranger that you were."

I felt useful for perhaps the first time ever as he spoke to me. No one had complimented me like that before.

"Now that I think about it.. I'm not sure why I asked you to save me when you told me you were a vampire. You already _had_ saved me at that point."

"You saved me too, Kai.. I had nothing before you came into my life."

"You had Yeonjun.."

I blinked down at my feet and felt reluctant to bring my gaze back up.

"It's okay, Soobin. I heard that whole conversation while I was turning. My body had given up for the most part, but my ears and mind still worked."

"And you're.. not upset about any of it?"

"No. I was a little saddened though.. for Yeonjun. But love is what it is. It either works or it doesn't. It can't be forced. Both you _and_ Yeonjun know that."

I slowly nodded. I was grateful he understood the complexities of our relationship. He understood them perhaps better than I did.

I had almost forgotten about Kai's phone that I still had on me, I reached into my pocket to bring it out to him.

"Here. Yeonjun found it in the woods. Looks like your boss has been calling you."

He looked thoughtfully down at his phone before tucking it into his own pocket.

"Right.. I wasn't at work today. Nor will I ever be again."

I gripped his hand in mine and made the decision then and there.

"Come live with me, Kai."

"Are you.. sure? I don't want to impose upon you.."

"You won't be, trust me."

He was silent for a moment as we continued to walk, almost at the other side of the park now.

"I guess it would bring me closer to my one, true love.. That piano of yours is certainly beautiful" he grinned at me and tried hard not to laugh.

I raised my eyebrows at him, shocked with just how much mocking he had in his words.

He laughed louder at my reaction.

"Unbelievable" I eventually laughed in response.

"I just noticed, you left your coat behind, Soobin."

I looked down at myself, barely able to believe I hadn't realized. I never went anywhere without it.

".. So I did."

"That's okay. You look good without it too, you know."

I smiled and graciously accepted his compliment as we made our exit out of the park towards home.

We arrived not long after, it was almost midnight at that stage. Kai stood in the entrance way for a moment, seeming a bit lost.

"Are you alright?"

"I would be going to sleep around about now. It feels strange.. to not be tired."

"Yes.. I think it's one of the biggest steps of this existence to overcome. Sleep for humans is as natural as death. It's not normal without it. But.. you are hardly normal now, Kai."

I stepped around to face him, feeling more confident in the privacy of our own home. I had been fighting off constantly staring at him the entire evening. His beauty was slowly turning me into something almost feral underneath my calm appearance.

"Not that you were ever normal.. You were.. and still are.. immaculate. Flawless. And I wouldn't have you any other way."

He smiled at me softly, turning his head towards the hallway, the small earring Yeonjun had put upon him swung with the movement. He looked back at me and silently took my hand in his, I let him lead me and he closed the bedroom door as soon as he walked us through it. I was suddenly pinned against it by him. There was no fear in his actions or my response. The path we once previously had to tread carefully was now open without any obstacles. He kissed me, with as much, if not more passion that he first had in my study that night. My hands were no longer cautious, I no longer needed them to be. I held his body into mine and felt my resolve be almost squeezed out of me with the pressure his body had against mine. His hands were underneath my shirt, tracing the curves of my waist. I felt my barriers break down further as I stepped into him, holding his hips firmly as I walked him backwards. His thighs hit the edge of my bed and our lips finally disconnected from each other as I pushed him back onto it. He perched himself up on his elbows and stared at me, curious at my now more forward nature towards him.

I ran a finger down from his collarbone to the middle of his chest, hooking my finger into the valley of his shirt and forcefully popped every last button until the garment lay open at his sides. Our first night together I struggled to replicate his touch back onto him; too afraid of hurting him. I could barely contain my fevered excitement at the thought of finally giving back to him what he had given to me. _I_ was now going to walk him through those gates of heaven he had opened for me previously.

I dipped my head down and planted kisses down his neck, across his collarbones, down across his chest and further still to his stomach. I felt his fingers come up and slide through my hair, progressively gripping it tighter in his hold the lower I went. I pulled back for a moment as I stared up at him. He was still taking in deep breaths just like he did when he was human, a habit he hadn't outgrown yet.

"I'm not letting you move from this spot."

He looked at me with half lidded eyes, softly biting his lower lip as my palms dropped to his thighs, feeling his muscles tense in their grasp.

"Soobin.." he breathed out, his whole body seemed to glow under me.

I gripped the end of his belt with one hand and forced it open. He gasped at my actions and I just smirked at him under me.

"You're mine, Kai."


	23. Chapter XXII

I stood inside my kitchen, slowly squeezing the thick, red essence out of the plastic bag in my hands into a wine glass. I then started filling a second glass. It was a strange feeling, knowing I no longer had to drink alone, but a welcomed one. I heard Kai's lively notes resonating out of my piano in the study and I smiled. I didn't know what time of day it was, nor did I much care. Several days or so had passed since Kai's turning and the hours just seemed to blend into each other. I knew it was daylight hours outside, but what day of the week it was, I couldn't tell you. It was the beginning of winter now, I could tell by how much shorter the daylight hours were. It didn't matter what kind of vampire you were, you always preferred winter. The more night time hours you had available to you, the better.

I picked the two glasses up and wandered back out to where Kai was, I placed one of them before him on the piano and he smiled at me. I leaned against the side of the instrument with my hip, feeling the vibrations of every note gently echo against my skin. He had been playing _a lot_ since he was turned. His song came to a close and I figured it was a good opportunity to ask him about it.

"Have you always played this frequently? Even as a human?"

I fondled the glass in my hands thoughtfully as I waited for him to answer.

"Well... I would have, if work didn't get in the way of it. But actually.. no. I think since becoming what I am, and my heightened sense of hearing that came with it, I want to play _more_ than I ever have. It sounds.. different. It sounds _better_."

I smiled as I nodded at him.

"I can hear the notes linger in the air for longer, I can almost hear the notes before I even play them. Like a sixth sense."

"It's wonderful, isn't it?" I kept my smile upon my face and he returned the expression.

"If I'd have known our kind had this sort of amazing ability, I would have asked you to turn me sooner."

He grinned at me and I swirled the blood in my glass as I thought about it.

"As tempting as that would have been, Kai.. I needed you to take your time with the decision. I guess though, in the end.. you weren't left with much choice."

I felt the smallest drop of guilt slide across my skin at the thought of Beomgyu and Taehyun.

"Maybe.. But I think I had made up my mind before that night, anyway."

"Is that so?"

I took a seat next to him on the piano and shuffled up close to him, my eyes fixing onto those now lavender orbs of his.

"I'm a pretty decisive person most of the time, Soobin."

"So I've noticed."

"As unfortunate as my childhood was, I think it's given me a pretty good gauge on how to tell if a situation is bad or not. Or a person."

I looked down at the black and white keys in front of us thoughtfully.

"I wish I was as perceptive as you are."

He brought a hand up and pushed his fingers through my hair, the black strands leaving my forehead momentarily from the gesture.

"You are who you are, Soobin. And I love every part of you for it."

He leaned across and kissed me tenderly, his hand from my hair slipping down to caress the side of my face and neck. He pulled back after a moment and smiled at me.

"I used to read a lot of psychology books over the years.. most of the mental tendencies I seem to have stem from a deep rooted sort of anxiety. Which leads to a lot of overthinking. Where that anxiety came from, I don't know. I've never been able to figure it out. It isn't because of who I am, it was there even before I was turned. But it did certainly get worse upon becoming immortal."

Kai looked at me thoughtfully as I spoke. It was the most I had talked about my personal struggles.. perhaps ever.

"Some people are just born the way they are, Soobin. They can spend their whole life trying to pinpoint a cause or a reason for why they are the way they are. And personally.."

He shifted closer to me still, sliding his arm around my waist, leaning his forehead against the side of my own.

"I'd rather be with someone who actually gave thought to things than give no thoughts at all."

I smiled and leaned back against him, placing my hand down upon his thigh next to mine.

"You really don't care that I think too much?"

"I just think you've been alone for too long. You've had no one to have these deep conversations with. Who else were you going to have them with if not with your own mind?"

I blinked and suddenly felt a small piece of myself come into light from being hidden for so long.

"I think perhaps you have a point there, Mr. Huening."

He grinned at the sound of his surname that I had started occasionally using as a nickname for him.

"May I play you a song?"

"You don't need to ask me that."

I stood up with my glass and wandered over to the chaise, taking a seat upon it as I waited for him to begin.

[2U](https://soundcloud.com/bangtan/20170901jkbday)

He opened delicately, the G#m and F# chords filling with room with a somber mist. I didn't recognize it, but that mattered not. His beautiful voice that laid perfectly upon the top of each note made me fall in love with him and the song a million times over. He sang with such a different, deeper air about him with what he now was. He could hear himself more, his voice becoming even further defined and richer. More precise with his pitch and tone. He had perfected himself even more. He looked down at his graceful hands as he played. Then looked up at me when he came to a certain part of the song, as if to speak to me directly.

 _Open up your mind, clear your head_ _  
__Ain't gonna wake up to an empty bed_ _  
__Share my life, it's yours to keep_ _  
__Now that I give to you all of me_ _  
__  
_ For the first time in all my years, my head was finally.. Empty. All I could do was feel. My heart swelled in my chest, its entire form, every vein, every vessel that no longer pumped, was full once more; not with blood, but with him.

A slow and almost permanent smile spread across my face as I gazed at him. Everything that I ever dared to have dreamed had come true with his existence. I didn't even take a sip from the glass I still held, I felt as if I almost didn't need it. He was enough for me in the heavenly sphere he cast around us once more with his own complete symphony that he was.

~

**_12 months later_ **

I sat at the piano in front of me, though it wasn't what I was used to at home, my keen sense of hearing still allowed me to tune it just fine. I turned the lever carefully, struggling with a few of the more stubborn, worn strings inside the instrument. The piano was old and its previous owners hadn't taken the best care of it over the years.

"I was thinking, Kai, perhaps we should invest in a new piano."

He looked over at me from his seated position on a chair as he finished changing the strings on a guitar. He set it aside and approached me, his hand sliding along the back of my shoulders.

"Why do you say that?"

"The previous owners didn't tune this one very often and its parts are beginning to wear prematurely."

"Might not be a bad idea.. we _could_ bring our one in."

I looked up at him as if he had just uttered a string of curses at me.

"I'm kidding, Soobin.. I know you like only me playing that one" he grinned and leaned down to press a kiss into the side of my worried face.

I stopped fussing over the instrument and stood up to walk down the stairs of the stage. It would soon be opening hours.

Kai and I had spent months together in a heavenly sort of solitude, but I could tell he yearned for the stage once more, to share his music with more than just me, and to enjoy performances again like he once had during his human years. I surprised him one evening when I came back from a stroll by myself, the deeds to The Black Swan in hand. I had purchased it for him. For us. We kept the name and all its staff. Kai wanted it to be just the same as it always had been, as did I. We decided to have our staff operate the bar during the late daylight hours and we would arrive at sunset, mostly to assist with the musical performance side of things. That night was our first open mic night and Kai could barely contain his excitement. He had been busy compiling a list of songs he wanted to perform as well as sorting through the musicians who approached us. The doors opened and soon the regular locals we once saw came walking in, along with the musicians who would perform. Watching Kai talk with the people who had already arrived, discussing music and what they were performing really did fill my heart with all the warmth it could possibly hold.

I floated around the place in no given direction at any given time. Although I owned the place, I liked to do bits of everything to help the staff. I began lighting candles upon the tables, taking drink orders and even cleaning behind the bar. I wasn't as social as Kai was, but he balanced our dynamic out with his slightly more talkative nature.

I was busy pouring a drink for a gentleman as I saw the doors swing open in the distance, I almost dropped the drink over the customer in shock at who I saw. His blond hair pushed out of his face, styled perfectly as always. He wore a deep red suit with a black and white pinstripe shirt underneath. I saw him smile to himself as he looked around his surroundings. Kai noticed him from across the room and basically ran at him at full speed while yelling his name.

"Junnie!"

I smiled at the nickname Kai had given him, watching as he gave Yeonjun a hug, almost knocking him off his feet with the force of it. I giggled to myself. Kai still hadn't figured out quite how to control his new strength yet, but he was working on it.

I left my spot from behind the bar and approached the two of them, their conversation interrupting as Yeonjun saw me come into view.

"It's good to see you, Yeonjun."

I smiled at him and he stepped forward to place a hand upon my shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze.

"Likewise, my friend. I like what you've done with the place" he said as he looked around.

"But.. we haven't done anything to it."

"Exactly" he smirked.

Both Kai and I smiled at him. We hadn't seen him in many months. We had visited him a few times, but our conflicting approaches to the immortal existence did seem to cut down our social events by quite a bit.

The same, red haired little breath of fresh air that had once teased me for my love-struck nature towards Kai came bouncing over to us.

"Kai, the opening act will be starting soon."

"Oh, thank you" he replied and looked towards the stage.

"I better get up there. I'll be back soon."

I smiled further as I saw Kai rush away. He was a duck in water and I could not be happier for how well he swam.

Yeonjun sat down at the same booth we had both once sat at the first night we saw Kai, and I decided to sit next to him.

"This feels all too familiar" he grinned knowingly at my side.

"Indeed. A whole year has passed and we are back where I first started this journey with Kai."

"How are things between the two of you?"

"Things are.." I looked up and saw Kai take the microphone stand to the center of the stage and I smiled.

"They're perfect."

"Good evening, everyone! Welcome to the first Black Swan open mic night under new ownership!"

The people clapped and yelled in excitement. Kai was a natural at engaging his audience. A band of four people, two males and two females, started filing in behind him to the drums, bass guitar, piano and microphone that Kai still held.

"I hope you all enjoy your evening with us, I will hand things over to our opening act for the night."

Kai stepped away and I had never felt more proud of him or my choice of deciding to purchase the place for him. He stepped down from the stage and came over to us to sit beside me.

I placed a hand upon his thigh and gently squeezed it as I smiled at him, silently expressing my admiration for him.

I looked at one of the females upon the stage, the vocalist who made her way to the microphone stand. She was short and curvy like a small hourglass but with eyes that could almost beat your teeth out of your head in a simple glance; a sassiness to the way she held herself. I smiled at the black t-shirt she wore, the words 'Fuck The Police' written in bold white letters across her chest. Her ebony skin shimmered under the stage lights and gave extra body to her voluptuous dark, curly hair. A feisty little Goddess. The song began, its tempo slow, bass orientated and almost seductive in its vibe and lyrics.

[Belong To You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cMT8PDzefg&list=PLx3sQc7YekdGU5M7NCGkB_xFE7-_USZyc&index=14)

_Take care of me_ _  
_ _Talk all day and at night fall in deep_ _  
_ _Stimulate me_ _  
_ _I want you mental and physically  
_ _I belong to you_

I relaxed into the mood of the song, feeling the strong bass make its way into my mind, spreading like a slow burning fire across my thoughts. My alleviated disposition was suddenly interrupted by Kai's elbow in my side as he nudged me. I looked to him and saw him silently nod across the table to Yeonjun. I glanced at the older vampire at my side and saw his gaze completely fixed upon the singer. But it wasn't a gaze of the bloodlust that was so common upon him. He was staring openly, his eyes were soft and deep, his pupils dilated; captivated. I knew that look. I knew Yeonjun could see no one else at that moment. Kai and myself at his side had all but disappeared. He was staring at his own version of heaven. I smiled quietly as I looked back to Kai. We didn't dare say anything, even as a whisper. We sat there in silence as the band played a few more songs, enjoying the stillness of Yeonjun beside us as he fell deeper into the depths of what Kai and I knew only too well.

The set finally came to an end and Yeonjun's eyes followed the vocalist off stage until she disappeared behind a curtain. He finally turned to see both Kai and myself grinning at him like absolute idiots. The blond smirked and bowed his head, licking his lips as if to wash away the embarrassment we had brought upon him.

"I have to hand it to the pair of you.. you've certainly found some intriguing new talent for the stage."

"Oh, you think so?" I grinned at him, finally able to tease him just this once for the _countless_ times he had jested at me in the past.

"Shut it, Soobin."

I grinned further and laughed.

"I would offer you a drink on the house, Yeonjun. But I'm afraid we don't serve what you seek."

"That's alright, Soobin, I... I've been tending to dine in lately, actually."

I looked at his expression carefully, he seemed a lot calmer than previous times I had seen him.

"What does that imply?"

"I've given up hunting humans. I think it's time I settled down a touch."

Kai and I were beside ourselves with astonishment.

"Maybe you should come over to ours for a drink sometime then, Junnie" Kai smiled at him.

Yeonjun then smiled the most genuine smile he ever had at us.

"I think I will take you up on that offer, baby."

Kai offered him a smile and stood up to approach the stage, I saw no other musicians upon it as the staff took away all the instruments except for the piano. Kai now stood in front of the microphone and began to speak.

"What a beautiful performance. How enchanting they were, right, Yeonjun?" and he grinned at the elder vampire all the way across the room.

I giggled at the audacity in Kai's taunting words while Yeonjun looked deflated and bashfully exhausted at my side from embarrassment.

"The next act will be... myself. And.. I want to invite our owner, Soobin to the stage to perform with me."

The crowd turned to look at me and I felt like I was suddenly chosen to give a speech recital in my school days. I was frozen. Stage performances were _not_ my idea of a relaxing time. I looked at Kai, his hand reached out to me now, a trusting smile on his face.

"Get up there!" Yeonjun pushed at me, grinning. "You'll be amazing."

I reluctantly stood and the crowd clapped for me. Though it encouraged me slightly, I was still nervous at the predicament. I slowly made my way to the stage and walked up onto it, unsure of what Kai's plans were.

"This is for you" he said as he stood aside to let the microphone stand be claimed by me.

"Wh.. what are you doing, Kai?"

He simply smiled at me and took his place behind the piano, pulling the small microphone on top of it closer to him.

"Just trust me, Soobin" he whispered and he began playing.

[All Of Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQtnhwU2R9Y&list=PLx3sQc7YekdGU5M7NCGkB_xFE7-_USZyc&index=7)

I recognized the song in an instant, it was one that he played for me in our home, and occasionally I would chime in and harmonize with him. He seemed to like my singing, so I every so often indulged him with it. He sang the first verses, staring at me through it all.

 _What's going on in that beautiful mind?  
_ _I'm on your magical, mystery ride_

I was finally brave enough to sing the chorus with him an octave above his voice. I hesitantly lifted my gaze to the crowd and was surprised to see them actually enjoying the performance. I felt confident enough to look at Kai as we both sang, a smile spreading across my face to match his. As the song progressed I looked out to the crowd more, feeling myself start to become more alive with every note that Kai played behind me and every one that I sung with further conviction. I now saw Yeonjun in the very back, inviting the vocalist he had seen to sit with him, which she did. I smiled further and felt myself become further lost in the music. Kai and I painted the scenery of our own heaven around the people who filled our establishment. I could see their eyes, locked and captivated upon us, becoming immersed within the world we had kept secret as we now sang it to them, inviting them into the almost mythical happiness we had found in each other; telling our story.

_You're my end and my beginning_

I fought back tears as I sang those words. My world had smashed into a million pieces the night I saw Kai upon that very same stage I then stood upon. The ending of my previous deeply lonely existence and the beginning of this new, exciting and beautifully madworld we had built together. I no longer craved the sunlight that I had missed, for Kai had given me all four seasons underneath our roof with his music and love. No more did either of us linger and search for salvation; we were found.

I had waited for over two centuries with death being the only constant body that surrounded me. Until I finally found him, my sunshine; my reason to begin to _live_ once more.

**_FIN._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings, devoted readers of mine. If you're up for another adventure, I have written the other side of this story from Kai's point of view. Please refer to my profile/works to find it. Titled 'New World'.
> 
> Enjoy ^-^


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